Why do everyone hate me?
"Do you really thinks I did that?" I asked, my brow furrowing in frustration.
After I dismissed the Viscountess earlier, she did not return home. Instead, she went directly to Evander, stirring up trouble. And to my disbelief, Evander believed her enough to give her hush money. How could he accept such baseless accusations? How could I possibly abuse a woman twice my size? The claim was very ridiculous.
I already got into trouble with the knights this morning. Now they are accusing me of hurting this woman.
The hell?
Evander regarded me with a cold, piercing gaze. His eyes held the weight of judgment, as if he had already seen me commit the act. His quiet judgment made me more furious I could hardly control it.
"What nonsense!" I exclaimed.
Evander's expression remained unreadable, his eyes never leaving mine. The air between us was thick with unspoken tension, a battle fought not with swords but with glances and withheld words.
"Norielle," he called softly, his tone serious. "You really didn't?"
I held his gaze firmly. "No. I never did." I replied.
My heart ached in disappointment knowing he never even give me the benefit of the doubt. He even went as far as paying her to shut her mouth. He really believed I was capable of such cruelty, even though she never stated any reason for her claim. Still, he fell for her lies.
Seeing the bitterness on my face, he began, I apologize-"
"No need," I cut him off curtly. "I'll be taking my leave. See you later."
Without waiting for his reply, I turned my back on him and walked out. A heavy weight settled on my chest, not just anger, but the sting of his betrayal made it even worse.
Furious, I walked to my room with heavy footsteps, each one echoing the storm raging inside me. I pushed the heavy door open and stepped inside, only to find Zilda there. She glanced at me briefly, her face unreadable, before turning away to close the window.
Both she and Evander treated me the same. They showered me with nothing but kindness, yet I knew she, too, believed the woman's accusations.
I remained silent as Zilda finished closing the window. Then, I collapsed face first onto my bed, the weight of betrayal and false accusation igniting a deep anger inside me. To be accused and betrayed in the same moment was almost too much to bear. Worst of all, the sting was sharpened by the knowledge that both my closest friend and my fiance had turned against me.
Evander was something... but Zilda?
"How could you..." I murmured, glaring at her.
Zilda finally spoke, "Is there something wrong, my lady?" She asked with her distant look.
Honestly, I want to fly into rage, right now, but I want to do it in front of them both. I wanted to throw plates and vases, even flip a table if I could. But instead, I held it back, burying the storm beneath a calm facade.
My glare fixed on her. "You believed it, didn't you?" I asked quietly.
"Yes, my lady," she answered. "Anyone who truly knew you wouldn't need a word to believe it."
Her answer subdued my anger, leaving me questioning everything. Why was this the case? What had Norielle done before I became her? This fucking cursed life.
"Oh right, you turned a new leaf after you got hit by a lightning," she said after sudden realisation, but somehow her tone sounded sarcastic.
I narrowed my eyes. "Do you want to retire early?" I asked her.
She shook her head slowly. "My lady, you are not only the radiant flower of society, you are also the thrips that shakes the blossoms." She told. "Thankfully, you never once laid a hand towards servants, only towards noble ladies who gets on your nerves."
What...?
The cold truth settled heavily on my shoulders. Norielle was really spiteful, and everyone knew it? Is that why the knights also hate me?
***
"Since when have you been waiting?"
Lost in my deep thoughts, I looked up when I heard Evander's voice.
"Only a few seconds," I lied. In truth, I have been here over forty minutes. After speaking with Zilda, I bathed, changed clothes, and came straight here. When I arrived, the table was empty, and now it is laden with extraordinary food.
Evander approached, reaching to pull out the chair beside me. I stopped him.
I sat to the right of the head chair, expecting him to take the head.
My eyes narrowed. "What are you even doing?" I asked.
Did he bump his head on his way here and lost his mind.
He looked at me. "Do you want to sit beside those knights after what they did?" His tone carried pure curiosity.
"It's the obvious," I said matter of factly.
I watched him closely, noticing the tension in his body. Even though he had doubted me earlier, now he want to show silent support by sitting me away from the knights who wronged me. He turned and walked past me and settled on his rightful seat. The hall remained quiet, the long table still empty except for the lavish spread awaiting the knights arrival.
Seconds later sounds of footsteps and loud bickering echoed from the outside of the dining hall, the door opened revealing the knights. Some heads were lowered, some eyes were looking elsewhere, but all of them stood stiff and awkward.
What should I do? Smile?
Samuel cleared his throat, commanding silence. One by one, the knights turned to face me and lowered their heads in a unified, solemn bow. I returned their bows with a measured nod, then they stepped inside and then they all took their seats with hesitation.
"A pleasant evening, Your Ladyship." Revan greeted politely as he took a seat, deliberately leaving two chair empty between us before settling down.
I waited, expecting someone to fill the empty chairs between Revan and me, but no one moved. The seat remained vacant. I wondered, was it disdain, or merely proper etiquette that kept them from sitting beside me?
"Then, let us eat first..." Evander announced, sounding uncertainty.
Across from me sat Samuel, and beside him, the six knights lined up, exchanging awkward glances and uneasy whispers as the tension in the room thickened.
Then all of us turned toward the door with curious eyes as it opened once more, despite the room already being filled. To my surprise, it was Zilda who entered gracefully, bowing in a deep curtsy before moving inside. Instead of sitting beside me as I expected, she took the chair besides to Revan, leaving an empty chair between us.
I glanced at her, and she leaned in slightly, whispering, "His Grace ordered me to be here."
Still, how could she keep this from me? And why didn't she sit beside me?
Leaning closer, "You're not sitting beside me?" I asked quietly.
She shook her head slowly. "I cannot, my lady," she replied. "This enough is not alright, it's not proper for a commoner to seat in one table with nobles."
My brow furrowed, she was a commoner? She attended academy and became my lady in waiting, but she's a commoner?
Well, that was surprising.
The room fell into a tense silence as Evander cleared his throat, garnering everyone's attention.
Evander's eyes swept over us, "Let's eat," he said firmly as he began eating.
Without waiting for a response, he picked up his utensils and began eating, setting an example that left little room for argument.
I stared at him for a moment, I thought I made it clear to him that I wanted to confront his knights, not simply share a meal with them. I had hoped his invitation to Zilda hinted at understanding, but now it seemed he preferred to smooth over tensions with civility rather than allow my grievances voice.
Our eyes met briefly before he glanced down at my plate and calmly exchanged it for his, where the meat was already sliced. I sighed in resignation and began eating, observing as his knights followed suit and quietly ate alongside us.
Moments later, as everyone slowly finished their meal, I thought the time had finally come for our conversation. Yet Evander raised his hand, prompting the servant behind him to nod. He then stepped out of the hall, and seconds later, the doors opened to reveal servants bearing trolley carts laden with an assortment of bottles of alcohol.
Now, I wondered if Evander still remembered my words. Had he changed his mind about addressing the tensions between us?
Various types of alcohol were served to each person, tailored to their preferences. I noticed how the knights uneasy expressions softened, brightening into calmer, more relaxed demeanors.
"As expected of our commander," one of the previously drunkard knights slurred, raising his glass in a somewhat unsteady compliment.
Frustrated, I took the seemingly champagne served to me and drank it in a single gulp. It was sweet, yet somewhat dry, a flavor unlike any wine I had ever tasted.
"You," Evander said, gently grasping my left hand, "It may taste sweet, but it's still alcohol. Drink it slowly."
Instead of replying, I fixed him with a glare before taking another fresh refill and downing it without hesitation.
"Stop pouring on my cup and give me the bottle instead," the other drunkard said happily as he grabbed the bottle from the servant.
The man beside him rebuked him firmly, "Stop acting rudely, and cut that out. You'll get drunk and cause problems." The others chuckled softly at the exchange.
Somehow, it was becoming clear to me why Evander had served the alcohol. It was to loosen tongues, to break down walls, an attempt to melt the icy tension between us.
"Right," Maro's face flushed red as he hiccupped and suddenly rose from his seat. "I, hic- apologize for, hic, my rude behaviour." He shouted, bowing deeply at a sharp ninety degrees.
Slowly, the other knights, seven other knights who was at the training ground incident this morning. Rose and bowed in unison, following Maro's lead.
"We deeply apologize," they shouted together, their voices echoing through the hall.
Their loud collective apology took me by surprise.
I offered an awkward smile and signaled with my hands for them to sit back down, which they promptly understood and complied with. To steady my nerves, I gulped another glass of champagne and exhaled heavily, summoning the courage to continue.
"Well then," I began, locking eyes with each of them in turn. "Can someone care to explain why you all acted so rudely towards me and my lady-in-waiting?" The question hung in the air, sharp and heavy.
For a long moment, the room was silent except for the soft clinking of glasses and quiet movements. The knights looked at each other nervously, clearly uncomfortable. Even Samuel and Revan, who were usually calm and steady, looked away, as if struggling with difficult feelings they didn't want to say out loud.
What? They never actually thought I would asked for it?
Finally, Maro cleared his throat then stood again. "I'll say it, your lady. Let me." He offered, pounding his clenched fist against his chest.
Is he drunk?
Maro's flushed face remained serious as he struggled to steady his voice. "Your Ladyship, I… I"ll speak honestly." His words were slurred, revealing his drunken state, and yet, there was a strange earnestness beneath it.
The knights around him shifted uneasily, avoiding my gaze and exchanging awkward looks. The knight seated to Maro's left reached out to pull him back down, but Maro shook him off, refusing to sit.
Silence filled the room as no one else dared to speak.
Finally, Maro took a deep breath and continued, "My lady, you aren't just the infamous thorn who clashes with noble ladies. It's also because we already have Lady Panzy as our future lady."
His words hung in the air, heavy and confusing.
Suddenly, Samuel grabbed Maro roughly and pulled him back down to his seat. He pushed a glass of alcohol into Maro's hand, urging him to drink until he lost consciousness, his face falling flat on the table.
Everyone in the room looked uneasy, sweat beading on their brows. I furrowed my own in confusion, trying to make sense of their reactions.
Samuel cleared his throat finally, breaking the silence.
"My Lady, it is true there has been friction, not only because of rumors or accusations but because of loyalties." He said.
He glanced briefly at the others, who nodded slowly.
"Lady Panzy has long been seen as the rightful future lady of this order. Many here have pledged their allegiance to her, and that loyalty has made it difficult for us to accept change." Samuel explained quietly.
Lady Panzy? Is she Evander's ex girlfriend or something? The thought weighed heavily on me, my heart ached and my mind swirled with confusion. I couldn't even bring myself to look at Evander, fearing the expression his face might hold.
Letting out a deep breath, I faced Samuel. "Is that all? They disrespect me with such trivial reason?" I asked.
Samuel met my eyes, his own filled with a mixture of guilt and resolve. "My Lady, it is not trivial to us. Loyalty to Lady Panzy has long shaped our order's future. Change threatens that foundation, and fear has clouded our judgment, but it is no excuse for disrespect." He said.
"My lady, Marlon Grey." One knight stood, politely bow and introduced himself. "I would like to apologize again for the disrespect we have showed you, and for our short coming. The lady Panzy was someone..."
He paused briefly, and I recognized him. He was the one who had sparred with Zilda.
That was my point why I said it was trivial, because she is someone to all of you but clearly it doesn't concerns about me.
Marlon's eyes flickered with a hint of respect as he continued,
"Lady Panzy was someone many of us knew well. She is strong, skilled, and deeply devoted to this order. Her presence has long been a symbol of stability, and we fear that change could bring uncertainty." The others nodded solemnly in agreement. "Though it was unofficial, many here believed she would become the betrothed of His Grace, Evander. Then, suddenly there is you who is infamous for being such a wicked person."
Still, it's not enough reason to be disrespectful towards me. When it wasn't even my fault that she isn't the official future lady, that they asked for.
I took a steadying breath. "You should have blamed His Grace, or Evander, for that matter. Clearly, none of this is my fault," I replied, my voice steady and firm despite the weight of their judgment.
It was the Grand Duke who proposed my marriage to Evander to my father. It was Evander who allowed the engagement to happen. How could it be the wicked lady's fault?
A heavy silence settled over the room as my words echoed against the walls. The knights shifted uncomfortably, my eyes meeting briefly with Marlon before he looked away. His expression softened, revealing a trace of understanding beneath the weight of tradition and loyalty.
Yet, I knew I shouldn't have spoken so harshly. After all, I was here to make up, not to give them another reason to despise me.
I glanced at Evander, searching for any hint of support or rebuke in his expression. His crimson eyes met mine, but he just stared quietly, unreadable. The silence between us was heavy, full of unspoken words and unresolved tension. His gaze neither condemned nor comforted, it simply was.
He's no help at all, even though all the fault lay with him.