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As the sun dipped below the horizon and the moon took its shift, the Holy Grail War settled into a weird, quiet lull.
Of course, in Fuyuki, peace is just the loading screen for chaos.
High atop the city's broadcast tower, Lu Bu stood like a gargoyle, the wind whipping his massive plumes. He listened to his Master's voice crackling through their mental link.
"Bu-Bu! You're up," his Master, a gym-bro named Brodie, said. "I've got three red bogies overlapping at Ryudou Temple."
"Consider it done, Master," Lu Bu rumbled, his voice like grinding stones. "Since they want to turtle up in there, I'll just crack the shell."
The "SharkTV Joint Holy Grail War" had been running for five hours now. The detection range for the Masters had expanded, and finally, Wayne (A Wei) and The Professor had popped up on the radar.
Lu Bu, bored out of his mind, decided to take the shot.
Unlike the historical romance novels where he was a fickle traitor screaming about destiny, this version of Lu Bu was... confused. Mostly by his Master.
Brodie was weird. He and Lu Bu had zero common interests, except that Brodie couldn't stop obsessively pinching Lu Bu's muscles.
Dude. Personal space, Lu Bu thought, flexing uncomfortably. I'm strictly into women. This is getting weird.
Luckily, Brodie was kind of an idiot. When Lu Bu had complained about running low on mana earlier, Brodie had instantly burned two Command Spells to top him off without a second thought.
Well, if he's paying the bills, I might as well work, Lu Bu decided. Time to end this boring game.
He drew back the bowstring.
He didn't use normal arrows. He wasn't Robin Hood. In his hands, pure magical energy condensed into jagged, glowing projectiles that looked less like arrows and more like tactical cruise missiles.
Thwip.
The arrows screamed across the sky, turning into streaking meteors that hammered down onto the distant hill.
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
Ryudou Temple, one of the city's premier tourist spots, instantly upheld its long-standing tradition of suffering from "mysterious gas explosions." The ground shook. The temple burned.
Lu Bu didn't stop. He reached into the void, grabbed more mana, and kept firing.
In history, Lu Bu was a warrior. As a Servant, his lack of sanity was annoying, but his range? That was a pure upgrade. He didn't need accuracy. He just needed force. He poured enough mana into the arrows to make them unstable, turning them into bunker busters that detonated on impact.
The night sky over the temple turned into a fireworks display from hell.
...
Down in the crater formerly known as Ryudou Temple.
"You son of a—! That Eastern brute has no manners!" A roar echoed from the rubble. "Sneak attacks? Ambushes? This is an insult to the Office of the President! Activate the Defense Protocol! MECHA-SOLDIERS, ROLL OUT!"
Thomas Edison, the lion-headed President-King of America, was pissed.
Imagine being a rat in a hole, happily minding your own business, maybe doing a little engineering, and suddenly the roof gets ripped off by a drone strike. Is there no justice? No law and order?
Beside the raging lion, Wayne coughed up dust and waved his hand.
"Go!" Wayne commanded.
Instantly, the ground rumbled as rows of mechanical soldiers surged out from the underground bunkers.
[Chat]: [Historybuff]: Edison looks mad.
[Gamer]: Why is the Master commanding the army?
[Lol]: Edison is the CEO. Wayne is the Manager.
[Shiny]: Look at the lights on Edison's shoulders! Target practice!
[Tactic]: Why is he glowing? He's a literal lighthouse.
[Facepalm]: Worst stealth ever.
The chat was right. Edison had two massive floodlights on his mechanical shoulders that were currently blinding everyone. It was basically a neon sign saying, "SHOOT ME HERE."
Realizing his tactical error—or perhaps just wanting to save his own fur—Edison quickly scrambled backward, hiding behind the wall of robots. The droids on the flanks turned on their own high-beams, creating a wall of light to mask the President's retreat.
"Excellent work, Master!" Edison shouted from the backline. "You truly are a qualified conductor of industry!"
"No, really, thank you for the... opportunity," Wayne muttered, sweating.
"Hahaha! Splendid! I leave the field command to you. I must return to the factory to oversee production!"
"Wait, what?"
"This is my new friend, The Professor!" Edison added, gesturing to the man beside him. "Take care of him! I'm going back underground. Capitalism waits for no man!"
And just like that, Edison bailed.
The plan was simple: They needed 100,000 robots to secure a win. They only had 30,000. So, Edison decided that Wayne was expendable, but the CEO (himself) was a critical asset who needed to stay safe in the bunker.
However, just as Edison turned to flee back to his workshop, a sonic boom shattered the air in front of the robot army.
CRASH!
Dust billowed. When it cleared, a figure stood there like a demon god.
It was Lu Bu.
He held the Sky Piercer Halberd in one hand, looking bored.
"Hmph," Lu Bu grunted. "You didn't run. You came right to my doorstep."
Wayne swallowed hard, staring at the towering giant.
"If I don't get closer," Lu Bu sneered, taking a heavy step forward, "how can I chop you tiny bugs into pieces?"
Wayne, despite his trembling legs, grabbed a megaphone.
"Then come a little closer!" Wayne yelled, his voice cracking slightly before he found his rhythm. "I have an army of thirty thousand mechs! Can you one-shot me? If you can kill me instantly, I'll eat the scrap metal of every single one of these robots right here, right now!"
Lu Bu paused. A twisted grin spread across his face.
"Oh?" The Flying General laughed, swinging his halberd. "You have guts. I like that. Aside from that guy who hung out with Liu Bei, you're the boldest ant I've ever seen!"
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