Warning: Mentions of Suicide ahead. Read at your own risk.
It was a weekday and past lunchtime.
The customers in an established family restaurant were sparse, leaving the servers idle behind the counter.
Two young women kept gazing in the direction of the lonely table around the corner—or, more specifically, at the lonely customer seated there.
"That looks so sad. Did his date stand him up?" one woman whispered to the other.
Looking at the hunched figure of the teenager made one feel an inexplicable sadness.
"I don't think he's waiting for a date. He specifically ordered three servings of aglio e olio and sherbet. You don't order that much if you're out with a date, right? Maybe best friends?" the other mused. She also couldn't stop herself from looking at the customer.
"You two are so nosy." The male manager, unable to stomach the blatant staring of his staff, walked over to them, frowning. "Why do you need to know who that boy is meeting? Because he's handsome?"
The two women pouted their lips. They had been caught.
"We're not that superficial, okay? We're just concerned. He seemed so sad when he walked in."
But, of course, their manager wasn't having any of it.
"Concerned? If that boy looked like Jabba the Hutt, would you be concerned? Don't give me that bull. You—oh, he's standing up."
"I'll clear the table!"
"I'll clear the table!"
The two lady servers hurriedly made their way to the handsome customer.
The manager could only touch his balding head in exasperation. "Really? These girls! People will think they're serving a celebrity. Just unbelievable."
"Hi, sir. Would you like to wrap these up for takeout?"
The tall teenager momentarily stopped in his tracks because of the question.
Looking closely, it was understandable why the two girls were captivated.
The boy—slim, delicate, and no older than eighteen—was breathtaking in a way that felt almost unreal.
With his small yet perfectly balanced features and razor-sharp lines, he looked like someone who had stepped straight out of an idol trainee lineup. He carried the quiet perfection of someone destined to be photographed.
People could easily mistake him for a model even if he just sat in the corner and stared dazedly at the air.
And his eyes…
His phoenix-shaped eyes were especially striking. Though empty of emotion for now, they still drew attention like a silent command. Staring into those obsidian irises felt like peering into an endless abyss that threatened to swallow you whole.
The two female servers couldn't help themselves; their breaths hitched in unison. He was simply too alluring.
His small, pale face flashed with confusion at first, so the second female server followed up.
"You can bring these home to eat later. They might have stood you up, but don't let those stupid friends waste your money."
The young man pressed his lips together and shook his head.
"I think there's a misunderstanding. My grandparents… They're bound not to show up. I just bought these two extra servings of pasta out of habit."
"Oh! Then you can bring these to your grandparents. I bet they'll be happy when they see you bringing them some food."
"Will they be happy?" the boy murmured dazedly. Voices from a distant memory echoed in his mind.
Siwon-ah! This boy. You should have saved your money instead of buying new clothes for your grandmother and me.
Oh, don't be such a prude, old man! Just say you love it and thank our boy.
Siwon slowly smiled—a smile that didn't reach his eyes.
"I think they will."
"Then—" The server energetically approached the table to take the untouched plate of pasta. Surprisingly, the handsome customer excused himself.
"I really appreciate your service, but there's no need to wrap them up. No one is going to eat them even if I take them home. Please excuse me."
Siwon respectfully bowed to the enthusiastic servers before marching out of the restaurant.
"What was that?" The two female servers stood there blankly, not fully comprehending his words.
Outside the restaurant, Park Siwon walked at a slow, dragging pace. Every step felt unbearably heavy, as if lead had settled in his shoes.
The words he'd spoken replayed in his head on an endless loop.
No one is going to eat that pasta… because my family is gone.
No one is going to eat that pasta… because today will be my last day.
He had already decided—today, he would follow after his grandparents into the afterlife.
People often said that time healed all wounds.
But for Park Siwon, time had done nothing but rot the wound further.
For over a year, he had tried desperately to fill the void left by losing his family, yet every attempt only dragged him deeper into the darkness.
He juggled multiple part-time jobs, only to be fired from both.
He pushed himself to study for the CSAT, determined to enter a good university like he had promised his grandparents, but that, too, crumbled.
The days of work and sleepless nights spent hunched over textbooks had worn down his body until he fell sick right before the exam, and his performance plummeted.
It cost him the scholarship and the chance to study his way out of poverty.
Everything slipped through his fingers. And Park Siwon somehow knew the reason.
Without his grandparents, who had been his main reason for working hard, he lost the drive to perform well.
He became an unanchored boat drifting in a stormy ocean.
Siwon came to a point where everything felt like a chore. He simply grew tired of everything.
Muddleheaded and with no hope in sight, Park Siwon arrived at a decision.
He would give himself one day to feel things, and once night came, he would end his days of numbness.
Park Siwon knew how horrible his decision was. However, his heart felt numb, and he couldn't take it anymore.
From the restaurant, Siwon trudged along until he stopped by his old school.
The school was closed for summer vacation, so he could only look at it through the metal fence.
This place had once been home to his innocent hopes and dreams. But now, he had come to grieve them as they died together with his family.
"Park Siwon?" Suddenly, a familiar voice called his name.
It was Uncle Jinseok, the school guard.
This amiable middle-aged man knew him very well because Siwon had always been the last student to go home after school.
That was when he never got tired of reading and hanging out in the library—a place that had once brought him joy.
"Are you here for your documents? Or are you here to sneakily break into the library?" the guard asked.
Park Siwon paused. The last time he did that was when he was foolishly following the words of a senior he thought he liked—
er, no… he did like that guy, but those feelings only lasted until the senior ghosted him.
"Uncle Jinseok, that happened two years ago. I can't believe you still hold that against me." Siwon smiled brightly, perfectly disguising the dark reason for being here.
Jinseok let out a bellyful of laughter.
"I'm sorry. My bad. By chance, are you here for your school documents then?"
Siwon shook his head.
"I just happened to pass by."
"I see. Then it's just as well. There are no teachers here to assist you. You'll have to return by Monday to take your documents."
Siwon only smiled. A pang of regret assaulted him again.
There was no need to take his school records; he would be gone by Monday.
"I'll be going ahead now, Uncle Jinseok."
"Oh? Where are you heading now?"
"I'm planning to hit the karaoke to unwind."
The middle-aged man nodded understandingly.
"Here I thought a studious kid like you didn't know how to mess around. Okay! Since it's vacation, you'd better enjoy it while it lasts. We'll see each other again on Monday."
Siwon smiled and waved his hand.
With that, he turned his back on the last memory of his innocence.
Siwon walked past the school district and soon turned onto the commercial street.
He had never tried karaoke before.
Because he and his grandparents had struggled financially, he never dared to spend a penny to try things students his age did.
It felt like a waste of money and time—so why should he?
But now that Siwon had decided to seal his fate, he no longer cared about saving money.
He was willing to squander the meagre savings he had to experience what normal teenagers did.
Siwon walked into a popular noraebang in the neighbourhood and rented a private karaoke room.
Once inside the flashy room, Siwon silently studied the interior.
Aside from the massive screen, disco lights mounted on the walls and ceiling.
Posters and life-sized cutouts of idols are plastered everywhere, looking trendy and bright.
"So, this is what a karaoke room looks like," Siwon whispered. He walked toward the screen in a daze.
The karaoke room was equipped with a touch-screen song selector. Siwon's fingers glided across the screen, and the song list unfolded before his eyes.
"I don't know what to sing…" he murmured.
His eyes remained unfocused as he combed through the song titles—until something caught his attention.
"This one…" Siwon lightly tapped the title he'd been staring at, and a piano suddenly began playing calm, steady chords. A quiet sense of longing enveloped the room.
And Siwon stood there, still and vulnerable. His unfeeling gaze stirred, revealing broken expression.