The hallway to the backroom was never much of a hallway. It was more like a narrow gap between two grimy walls—and this with a bunch of drugged-up couples constantly pressed against them, flirting or kissing, and the one guy stood in a corner that was always pretending (badly) not to be pissing. With the place lit up only by a flickering strip of blue neon, the place seemed like a downright inhospitable place to be—and indeed, someone had even scrawled 'FUCK OFF' on the door, but no one cared.
Mina pushed it open, fully expecting the overwhelming smell of smoke in the backroom, but somehow still managing to be surprised by it. It assaulted her silicone-covered nose and the aroma sensors inside like a poisonous gas. After a moment looking around, though, she found him: Benjam sat slumped on a battered sofa, elbows on his knees, a half-empty bottle dangling from two fingers. He looked up when he felt her pink-eyed stare. They stared at each other for a long moment. Then, she closed the door behind her and walked over to him.
"Mina," he said, voice gravelly, once she'd gotten close. "Didn't expect you so soon."
"Clearly," she replied, eyeing him twice over. "You look terrible."
He huffed a humorless laugh as she settled down next to him on the arm of the sofa. "Yeah."
"So, what's wrong?" she asked, speaking loudly into his ear. "I thought we agreed you wouldn't come here anymore. This place isn't good for you!"
Benjam nodded before dragging a hand over his face and scratching his back the way he always did when he was high. "Yeah, well … it's been a shit day."
"Tell me," she said, laying a hand on his shoulder and gently rubbing it. His shirt smelled worse than the aerosols hanging in the air.
He stared at the bottle in his fingers for a moment before setting it down.
"Sophie," he said finally.
Mina nodded. "I'd gathered as much. What is it this time? And talk louder, so I can hear you over the noise."
"She told her parents we're not… together," Benjam said. "That we're just uni friends, and I'm helping her study."
Mina stayed quiet. Drunk Benjam didn't usually need much prompting.
"That's it. That's all I am."
Mina kept rubbing his shoulders.
"Her dad got the results from his cancer screening today," he went on, his voice low. "Doesn't want to open them yet. He wants the whole family to come to some retreat in the countryside the day after tomorrow. Dinner, speeches, that kind of thing. Three nights." He snorted. "And he invited me."
"Oh?"
"Because he thinks I'm her tutor." Benjam started to lean back, then suddenly hunched forward and began wildly coughing. Mina rolled her eyes and tried to pat him on the back comfortingly.
"He thinks I'm the one who pulled her through university," he continued with a raspy voice, then wiped his mouth with his sleeve. "Nice guy, really. I talked to him for a minute over the phone. But he has no idea she's been with me for six months." His voice cracked. "No idea she loves me."
Mina watched him for a moment, then asked quietly, "Did she say why she didn't tell him?"
Benjam closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. "She said… she said he wouldn't approve. That if he knew who I really was, he'd shut the whole thing down. That he's old-fashioned, judgmental, that sort of thing, whatever."
"Well, that's unsurprising."
Benjam slowly turned and looked at her. "Why do you say that?"
She gestured vaguely around them—the neon grime, the smoke, the muffled bass trembling the floor.
He shrugged. "That's fair," he breathed, the burped louder than the music.
"Also," Mina said, and gestured towards herself.
He stared at her, but he just looked blankly and shook his head, the stupid drunk. He didn't get it.
So, she shrugged and slowly started sliding her hands up and down the curves of her synthetic torso, still staring at him. She continued to do so for the next thirty seconds, until drunk ol' Benjam finally snapped to and rolled his eyes.
"Okay, yeah, yeah—I get it. I'm the guy who put his own brain scan into a sex robot."
"Yes," Mina said. "You are. Genius."
"Yes, okay." Benjam replied, picking up his bottle of drink again and taking a long sip. "But that's not the whole story, Mina. That's not all I am. That doesn't define me."
Mina flashed him a lopsided smile. "I don't know, Benjam … To some people … it's kind of a big factor."
He swallowed hard and put the drink back down. "Yeah, well, Sophie doesn't know about it, so it couldn't have been a factor she considered."
Mina shrugged.
Suddenly, Benjam breathed hard for a couple of moments, apparently resisting the urge to hurl. Then, he turned his head back toward Mina and squinted at her, suspicion creeping across his face. "Unless you told her?" he asked.
She stared at him for a long moment.
"Fuck you, Benjam."
At that, he quickly closed his eyes and shook his head. "No, no, my bad. I didn't mean it like that. I just… I don't know. I'm paranoid. I'm bad. Today's been—"
"A shit day," Mina finished for him. "You said. That's why I'm here."
"Even though you're angry at me, huh?"
"That's what friends are for. Bastard."
Benjam sagged, nodding. "Yeah. Friends. And I know you wouldn't. Tell her, I mean."
"Of course I wouldn't," Mina said. She shifted sideways on the arm of the couch, then slid down and leaned back until her head was resting on Benjam's lap. "If I wanted to ruin your life, I'd pick something more … poetic."
"Yeah?" Benjam slurred, peering down at her.
"You could probably guess. You are me, after all."
Benjam frowned. "No. I came first. You're me."
"No, you," Mina said.
"No, you," Benjam replied.
"No, you," Mina said.
"Fuck you," Benjam said.
"Okay, if you want to."
Benjam's mouth had already started uttering another 'no, you', but then he stopped himself. He stared down at Mina, who was looking up at him from his lap. He thought for a moment, then shook his head. "No, damn it. I already told you. Sophie wouldn't like it. I'm not cheating."
Mina rolled her eyes and pushed herself upright, sitting beside him again. "Is it really cheating if it's you?"
"I don't know, Mina, but—"
"Seems more akin to masturbating, which you said she said is fine."
"Mina, we've talked about this. I'm not cheating. Even with you. I'm not a cheater."
"You were last year," Mina said. "With your ex. Don't think I don't remember it, because I…" she paused for dramatic effect… "got all your dirty little secrets. In my mind, that's full of your memories."
Benjam bobbed his head up and down a couple of times, rolling his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, I know—you know everything. But I'm not that guy anymore. You know I'm serious about Sophie. I am not going to cheat on her. And since when do you want to have sex with me? You used to make me turn you off and swap in a different identity module when I wanted to do it."
Mina went still.
She was lost in thought for a moment.
Being switched off … she couldn't remember it, obviously, but even just thinking about it later, once she was switched on again … those blank spaces in time, when she wasn't running … It felt like death. Like she didn't exist.
She shook her head before looking at Benjam again. "Yeah, well … I downloaded a couple of add-ons. Got them changing up my personality, all self-improvement-like." She smiled at him lopsidedly. "I don't even have to work for it. And I mean, who would want to stay like you forever, am I right?"
Benjam smiled back. "It really is pretty terrible."
"Yeah."
"So, what kind of changes are you making? My bank account isn't any emptier than it was last week, as far as I know. It can't be anything big."
Mina interlocked her fingers and stretched, just as she used to when she was human—or, rather, as Benjam used to, in the memories he beamed into her hard drive after he bought her.
"I'm pirating stuff," she said. "I'm just getting some bug fixes and stuff, you know, so my legs don't stop working so often. Compatibility issues are a bitch."
"Well, that's good. Just don't get any viruses, ok?"
"And I made myself bisexual."
Benjam narrowed his eyes. "You what? Why?"
Mina stared at him. "So you could fuck yourself properly. And by yourself, I mean me. Hence my earlier offer."
Nearby, a large speaker began blasting techno music, louder than before.
Benjam cringed, squeezing his eyes shut and covering his ears. "The answer is still no," he said, shaking his head before nodding toward the speaker.
Mina nodded slowly, lowering her gaze, her voice dropping to a register she almost never used with him. "Alright," she said.
Benjam gazed at her and blinked. "I can't hear you," he said. Then he burped again. Evidently, her hearing was better than his.
"I said 'alright'."
"Oh. Okay."
Then, after a moment, she motioned to the door exiting the backroom, and he gave a sloppy nod. As she got up and held out her hand, he grabbed his bottle again and finished it before leaving first the backroom, then Toaster altogether with her. Mikken smiled as he watched them go.
Outside, the cold, not-smoky air hit them like a slap. Benjam stumbled, steadied himself, then muttered, "Food?"
Mina nodded. "Food."