Wangshu Inn, the only rest stop between Mondstadt and Liyue, was once packed with travelers. But ever since the "dragon catastrophe" struck Mondstadt, business had been dwindling day by day.
"Sigh… looks like Brother Xiao went out to clear monsters. He's not on the roof eating almond tofu."
Su Bai had originally wanted to visit Xiao as he passed by Wangshu Inn, but the yaksha was nowhere to be found. Bored, Su Bai plopped down on a chair to wait—he needed a break anyway.
"Brother Xiao's karmic burden is getting heavier and heavier… Hah. Shame my immortal power is still too weak."
"I really hope this trip to Mondstadt proves my hypothesis right. If not, I might have to ask the Geo Archon himself if he knows a way to boost immortal power quickly."
Thinking back to the divination lot he drew before leaving last night—Great Misfortune—Su Bai's head throbbed. Back in Inazuma, Yae Miko had taught him some simple fortune-telling. It wasn't very accurate, but drawing ten Great Misfortunes in a row was enough to make anyone uneasy.
After all, the probability of drawing ten Great Misfortunes was about the same as the Jade Chamber falling from the sky and being smashed by Ningguang herself. Even Su Bai never imagined he'd see such a result.
"Forget it, forget it. No point overthinking. When the boat reaches the bridge, it'll straighten itself out. And even if I can't win… I can still run."
He stood up, muttering comfort to himself—though he knew perfectly well what he was thinking deep down. Mondstadt felt like a road with no return. Once he entered, getting out again wouldn't be so easy.
"Damn it, since when did I start picking up Sister Miko's habit of overthinking everything? Come on, I've got the Geo Archon standing behind me—what's there to be scared of?"
Having thoroughly convinced himself, Su Bai shook off his worries and called toward the kitchen, where Yanxiao was clearly slacking off:
"Yanxiao! Bring out some of your specialties! Put it on Zhongli's tab—send the bill to Wangsheng Funeral Parlor at the end of the month!"
...
Night fell as expected. Beneath the stars, the once-busy road from Liyue to Mondstadt now lay deserted. The lively flow of carts and travelers felt like a memory.
A fox-eared, fox-tailed young man strolled leisurely down the dark road, chewing on a stalk of grass. If a painter could capture the scene, the painting might simply be titled "Youth."
Ahead lay Mondstadt, a land suffering under the dragon's rage—but he plunged forward without hesitation, driven by a dream. What else was a "reckless youth" if not that?
However, the moment he stepped into Mondstadt territory, he encountered his first problem:
A group of Treasure Hoarders were robbing him in broad daylight on the main road.
Seeing the weapons waved in front of him, Su Bai was so excited he nearly laughed out loud. Heaven above, earth below—after so many years, he'd finally run into a group of Treasure Hoarders blind enough to pick him as a target.
"Y-You… what are you doing? I-I don't have any Mora on me…"
Seeing how "timid" Su Bai appeared, a two-meter tall, heavily scarred Treasure Hoarder stepped forward. The man clearly had been through countless life-or-death battles, judging from the collection of scars peeking from his clothes.
"Kid. Hand over your food. Damn it, I'm starving to death here."
"T-This… big brother… I-I don't have any food either…"
The man scanned Su Bai up and down. Seeing he was alone and empty-handed, disappointment flashed across his face.
"Are you stupid? It's still three days to Mondstadt! Didn't bring food—are you trying to starve to death?"
"Forget it, forget it. Get lost. Shoo. What rotten luck. Xiao San! Give this little pretty-boy a couple of flatbreads. I don't want him starving on the road and forcing us to deal with the body. That'd ruin our luck before we even start business in Mondstadt."
Su Bai's face twitched.
Wow… this Treasure Hoarder group actually has morals?
Seeing he was about to be dismissed, Su Bai decided to drop the act.
"Gentlemen, have you ever heard a saying from Wangsheng Funeral Parlor?"
"Huh? What saying? Don't tell me you plan to fight us with that little knife?"
When the Hoarders saw the tiny fruit knife Su Bai pulled out, they nearly burst into tears from laughing. Su Bai didn't explain. Instead, he gave them his signature fox-eyed smile.
"This saying goes like this:
'One slice with this knife, and you're done; your ashes neatly boxed in a rectangle. Die for me—and don't forget to leave Wangsheng a five-star rating for our service down below.'"
The Hoarders stared blankly, utterly confused. They glanced at each other, not understanding a word.
Su Bai wasn't planning to explain. They'd understand soon enough.
Before the Treasure Hoarders could react, Su Bai turned into a streak of white light.
A moment later, the warm sensation at their necks told them everything—they weren't dealing with someone they could fight.
"B-Boss… what do we do? This one's… kinda troublesome…"
The scarred Treasure Hoarder stared at Su Bai, who was idly twirling the fruit knife. Gritting his teeth, he made a decision.
Under Su Bai's expectant gaze—
He suddenly knelt.
Su Bai froze.
Wasn't this supposed to be "die before kneeling"?
"S-Sir, please spare us! We really didn't mean it!"
"Sir?? I'm eighteen! You really wanna go to the afterlife and leave a five-star review, huh?"
Seeing Su Bai raise the knife again, the Hoarder leader shivered violently and quickly corrected himself.
"No no no—brother! Brother!"
"Brother? That's what energetic young girls, charming elder sisters, and flirty aunties call me. Which one are you? If you can't answer, the sample coffin Hu Tao asked me to promote is right here. Free trial?"
The Treasure Hoarder wanted to slap himself. With his limited vocabulary, he had no idea what to call Su Bai. He could only stare pitifully.
"Call me 'handsome'—no, forget it. Call me Little Brother."
Su Bai almost used a term he'd read in a book but felt too embarrassed, so he quickly changed it. Fortunately, the Hoarder leader was quick-witted, and obediently repeated "Little Brother" nonstop, greatly pleasing Su Bai.
"Alright, alright. Since you still have a bit of humanity in you, and you're Liyue folk, I won't make this difficult. But listen—if I catch you robbing people again, you'll get a free Wangsheng Funeral Parlor service. Understood?"
"Thank you, Little Brother! Thank you, Little Brother! I thank your ancestors for eight generations!"
As the man started thanking even Su Bai's ancestors, Su Bai grew more irritated. If he hadn't just promised not to kill them, he would've scattered their ashes on the spot.
"Last piece of advice:
Sometimes, if you're dumb, you need to read more books. Once you've read enough, you'll figure out better ways to make money. Now scram."
The Treasure Hoarders ran for five whole minutes before stopping. One of the younger members finally asked, out of breath:
"Boss… are we still going to Mondstadt for business?"
"Go? Go your ass! Didn't you see we lost all our food? This whole trip has been nothing but bad luck. First job since forming this Treasure Hoarder group, and we run into a monster like that."
The leader paused, thinking.
Actually… Su Bai might've had a point.
If they didn't read more books, they wouldn't even know how to beg for mercy properly.
"Forget Mondstadt! We're heading back to Liyue Harbor's market to buy books! All of you are reading them! Next time we beg for mercy, I'm not doing it alone!"
"W-What???"