Rick's mouth opened, but at first, he couldn't say anything. His mind was racing as he tried to understand that a real-life adult woman who looked like she came straight out of his fantasies was standing right in front of him. He needed to make a good first impression.
He thought, "Please don't fuck this up. Just say something normal... something that a normal person would say...! Yes, that's right...!"
"Yo, malady~! Ahem! I mean," Rick was able to croak out. "Hello, I'm Rick. Rick Rolland."
"Thanks for getting me away from those goblins. You were incredibly impressive back then, truly exceptional! I just wanted to say that your sword skills are amazing and your thighs look really strong."
"I bet they could crush a watermelon or maybe even my head. Honestly, I wouldn't mind being sandwiched between them because they look so soft and firm."
Rick's brain finally caught up with his mouth, but it was three seconds too late. The ruins were completely silent.
Carmilla looked at him with wide eyes and a slightly open mouth, as if she couldn't believe what she was seeing. The hand that had been resting on the hilt of her sword slowly fell to her side.
Sebastian appeared right in front of Rick's face, and his tiny monocle was practically shining with happiness. "What a wonderful way to start a conversation! It's really amazing, not gonna lie."
"In sixty-seven thousand years, I've never seen a social interaction go so horribly wrong. I'm really impressed by how quickly you messed this up."
Rick's face was so red that it probably looked like Carmilla's hair. "I didn't mean to say that out loud! That was meant to stay in my head!"
"Oh, so you were thinking it?" Sebastian's mustache twitched as he tried to hold back his laughter. "That makes it so much better. Alright, please go on. I'm doing this for the future."
Carmilla blinked a few times, as if she were trying to reset her mind. Then, to Rick's horror and slight relief, she started to laugh. It wasn't a polite, quiet laugh either. It was a real, full belly laugh that shook her shoulders and echoed through the ruins.
"Oh gods," she said, laughing and wiping a tear from her eye. "I haven't heard anything that honest in a long time."
"Most men either hide from me out of fear or try to show off by acting tough. But you..." She looked at Rick with a look that was both funny and interested. "You just said what was on your mind, didn't you?"
Rick wanted to disappear and become part of the floor. "I'm so sorry! Please just forget what I said earlier!"
"I have a problem with the filter between my brain and my mouth. Or, to put it another way, I don't have one at all. Please don't kill me." Rick put both his hands together in front, trying to have mercy.
"Kill you?" Carmilla's laughter turned into a warm smile. "Why would I kill someone who made me laugh harder than I have in months?"
"I have to say, though, that the remark about the watermelon was very specific."
A notification pinged in Rick's eyes.
[CARMILLA CRIMSONFORD'S LOVE: 0 → 2]
[REASON: REAL FUN + HONESTY THAT WASN'T EXPECTED]
[NOTE: She likes how awkward you are. Don't be too sure of yourself.]
Sebastian floated next to Rick's ear and said, "Well, well. It looks like being a gooner who has a fucked mind has some benefits. Who knew?"
"For fuck's sake! Can you please be quiet for five seconds?" Rick mumbled to himself.
Carmilla turned her head. "Did you say something?"
"No! Nothing! I'm just talking to myself!" Rick stood up straight, trying to save what little dignity he had left. "Um, so, about what happened earlier..."
"I sincerely appreciate that you saved me. If you hadn't come, those goblins would have killed me."
"You're welcome, so... what were you doing in these ruins in the first place?" Carmilla asked, and her face got more serious. "These are the ruins of the Forgotten Sanctum."
"Most people stay away from them because they are dangerous. Do you like to look for treasure? A traveler?"
Rick opened his mouth and then shut it. How was he supposed to tell people that he died in another world and woke up here with a system that made him have to seduce older women to get power? That looked like a quick way to be called crazy.
Rick said carefully, "I'm new to the area. You say that I just got here today."
"I don't really know where I am or why I'm here. I'm so lost..." That wasn't exactly a lie.
Carmilla's eyes looked like they were filled with sympathy. "Are you lost? Did you lose track of a caravan or a group of people traveling together?"
"Something like that," Rick said, happy to have an excuse. "I don't really remember how I got here. Things are a little blurry in my head, maybe that's why I talked to you like that earlier..."
[NEW QUEST IS OUT]
The notification showed up in bright gold letters all over Rick's view.
[QUEST: GET CARMILLA TO SMILE]
[LEVEL OF DIFFICULTY: EASY]
[OBJECTIVE: Make Carmilla Crimsonford smile or laugh by being honest and interacting with her in a way that makes her feel good. Important: This has to be real. Cheap tricks or jokes that are forced won't work.]
[REWARD: +50 EXP, Basic Combat Awareness (Passive Skill)]
[FAILURE PENALTY: The system will talk about your failures for the next 24 hours.]
[DEADLINE: Before sunset today]
[NOTE: Affection gained through forced or manipulative behavior is cut by 90%. Be honest, you fucking gooner.]
"Are you okay?" Rick came back to reality when Carmilla spoke. She was worried about him. "You keep zoning out and staring at nothing."
"I'm okay!" Rick said it quickly. "Still a little shaken up from the goblin attack. And maybe a small concussion..."
Carmilla looked at him for a little longer and then sighed. "You can't stay here for too long. These ruins are full of monsters, especially at night."
"Thornwick is the closest town. It takes about two hours to walk there, and I was going back there anyway after my patrol. You should come with me."
"Really?" Rick's eyes lit up. "Would you do that?"
"I can't just leave someone alone in ruins full of monsters," Carmilla said as she moved the sword on her back. "Besides, if I leave you here, you'll probably die in five minutes."
"Think of it as my good deed for the day."
Sebastian showed up with a ding. "How lucky. The kind lady is willing to walk you home even though you made a terrible first impression. Please refrain from making any further comments about her thighs for at least an hour."
Rick made a silent promise to himself that he would find a way to silence Sebastian one day. Carmilla began to walk toward the ruins' exit, and Rick quickly followed her. As they got closer to the entrance, the sunlight got brighter, and Rick had to cover his eyes when they stepped outside.
In all its fantasy glory, the world of Zorathia lay before him. The hills were rolling and covered in bright green grass.
In the distance, there were forests with trees that looked too tall to be real. On the horizon, there were mountains that seemed to pierce the clouds. The sky was a bright blue with fluffy white clouds, and Rick could have sworn he saw something that looked like a dragon flying far away.
"Wow," Rick said. "This place is so pretty."
"You really don't live around here, do you?" Carmilla said, looking back at him with a small smile. "Most people don't stop enjoying the view anymore. They're too busy worrying about monsters or how to make money."
Rick said honestly, "We don't have anything like this where I'm from. Just buildings, concrete, and far too many people all in one place."
"Sounds awful."
"Yep, you're true. It's really awful..."