the nights of the academy two good friends I and my good friend alyosha, what can be described of what we are doing is simply conversing with each other as what any old friends would do while camping, but things took a darker turn once we started talking about such dark, deep and horrifying truths about reality, I kinda hated him for bringing up about my dead parents and my life of being alone and only having him as a friend, and so on this happened.
"look into my eyes alyosha! What can you even see.. right now I'm drowning in such misery that I cannot see between you people! And the worst ones."
Alyosha looked at me meaningfully, a look that have made a difference in what I see him as.
Why are you pitying me?.
It's disgusting, insulting the worst way a good friend that I considered an equal could have ever looked at me!.
looking at me with that disgusting look in his eyes he replied with. "Derek as what I know of you for we have been friends for so long, don't be upset, I may have indirectly made a dent in your pride, but as we both know our lives have not been kinder to us, hah! As you know I've lost my parents early too if that is what everyone kept on telling me, and now after being with a kindred spirit I cannot feel anything but this calm and comfort while opening up with you, I felt like we're meant to be brothers, Lets count on each other and lets improve our lives by studying harder."
Alyosha smiled after that, and I just accepted his smile and his apology and implying sleeping early to study tomorrow.
"Forget about it alyosha I am.. on the wrong too and lets just sleep early to study tomorrow, exam is almost starting!"
Why am I even feeling upset and disgusted, what is even wrong with myself maybe the toll of lossing both parents was too much for me, I can't accept being belittled by everyone in the academy just because our barony have lost its nobility, I'm now just a commoner after the lost of my family, we have been only holding on nobility through a law the kingdom assigned giving wealthy commoners a chance to obtain a noble title by paying a fixed tax of 200 gold, now without the influence of my parents and those pigs mercilessly taking everything without considering human morality, or does that even exist anymore.
Im too poor, and I hate this misery I no longer want to be humiliated and used.
But then the memories rushed, unknown yet familiar close and similar to me?.
I was in a state of awakening memories I don't feel belonging to me kept rushing in my sea of consciousness.