I had been sinking into that deep darkness… a darkness whose limits or shape I couldn't even begin to describe, as if it were a massive void swallowing light, sound, and everything else.
There was no ground beneath my feet, no air around me, no sign of direction. Just… nothingness.
I drifted in it with almost no purpose—or rather, I floated, because the word "swim" requires a body that can move… and I didn't seem to have that privilege.
I tried to control my limbs—my hands, my legs, any part that could prove I still existed—but my body wouldn't respond at all.
It felt as if I were trapped inside something I couldn't see, something stripping me of the ability to move.
I tried once… then again… then dozens of times.
But each attempt ended the same way: with nothing. As if my body were just a shell sunk in absolute stillness.
And in the middle of that heavy failure, an unwelcome thought slipped into my mind—a thought I didn't even want to approach:
"Is this what a person feels when they die? Drifting in an endless space, unable to move, without purpose, without direction?"
The thought alone made my chest tighten, even though I wasn't sure I even had a body to feel that tightness. But the sensation was unmistakable…
I tried to focus more—on the feeling, on anything…
And with each moment of concentration, that sensation grew stronger until the memory became clear:
Yes… I had been here before I inhabited Rion's body.
At that moment, a single heavy, shocking question piled up inside my mind:
"What is this place? And why am I back here? Does this mean I died again?"
But I pushed the thought away quickly, as if rejecting it alone might bring me some comfort:
No… I don't think so… The academy wouldn't let us die, right? Or at least that's what I believed.
And in the original game… I don't remember anyone dying. At least not any of the main characters…
But the idea returned with force, as if refusing to leave me.
"Did I really die? Is that why I'm here? Is everything over again?"
The more I questioned myself, the more a quiet sadness crept in, spreading slowly until it felt like a new space in the darkness opening up just to swallow me.
I resisted the thought with everything I had:
"I can't be dead… right? I just can't… There has to be another explanation… anything but this."
But the darkness didn't answer. No voice, no sign. Just the void… and me floating in it, helpless, anxious, repeating the same questions endlessly.
I drifted without purpose… without direction… until even time itself seemed to stop—or maybe time didn't exist here at all.
Everything was still, except for my thoughts growing heavier and heavier.
And suddenly—while I was drowning in that feeling—something new cut through the darkness.
…
I opened my eyes very slowly, as if my eyelids were heavier than I could lift.
I stared at the ceiling for a few seconds, trying to understand where I was exactly…
"Where… am I?"
Before I got an answer, a calm but serious voice came from behind me:
"You're in the hospital. You were brought here with the others who lost consciousness."
I attempted to lift my body slightly, but a sharp wave of pain surged everywhere.
I couldn't even move my hand—every part of me felt like it was protesting and begging me to stay still.
The doctor stepped closer as soon as he noticed my attempt and said with a firm but concerned tone, "Don't move.
Your injuries were the worst among them.
Your body needs rest, and forcing it now will only make it worse."
I took a short breath, my voice barely coming out:
"Since… when have I been unconscious?"
He flipped through a file in his hand and replied, "Not long. Maybe around two hours."
Two hours? I looked at him in surprise, and he continued:
"The other students woke up about an hour ago."
I lowered my eyes a little and asked, "And… when can I leave?"
He thought for a moment before saying, "You need to stay here for at least half a day. We need to make sure you're alright."
I swallowed with difficulty. "Alright… just… please… leave me alone for a while."
He nodded and pointed to a button beside my bed.
"When you need anything, press this."
I stared at the button for a few seconds, then said, "Alright… thank you."
When the doctor left and the door closed behind him, silence filled the entire room—a heavy silence that made my chest tighten.
I couldn't help it—tears started falling on their own. Everything inside me felt unstable and shaken.
I thought weakly to myself:
Damn it… I really am weak.
If that had been a real fight and not just a test, things could have ended so much worse…
Every time I remembered the pain, my limbs trembled on their own.
Even taking a deep breath felt like an impossible task.
How am I supposed to go back to my brother like this? How am I supposed to live in this world being this weak?
I squeezed my eyes shut, fighting the urge to scream. It took everything in me to hold it back.
I must find a way to become stronger—and fast—before something worse happens…