Richard had sleepless nights; of course he did, he was after all a hard-working middle-class man who struggled to make the ends meet. But that wasn't the reason for the insomnia. The truth was, which he never admitted, he still cares for Jane. After all that had taken place, he still loves her and thinks about her and, most importantly, pities her. This gave him the sleepless nights where he'd imagine her in the white room, swearing like a rapper on drugs.
Richard would like to imagine himself as tough as he used to be, ignoring the plummeted energy as his transition from a youngster has taken place. He still thinks about her: the lovely pink hair with rabbit ribbon, her dress that used to sweep the ground as she majestically walked like a queen, her perfect eye-liner which gave way to a gaze that stole his heart.. The eyes… He'd never imagined those same eyes could give that expression it did back then:
"You really liked the ring, didn't you? You've kept staring at it from 2 days ago when I put it for you"
She hadn't replied, but just looked at him blankly.
"Our girl is so precious, isn't she? As beautiful as you are."
She wouldn't reply, but looked at him blankly.
"Headin' to work, honey. I'll be a bit late today."
She didn't reply, only threw him a look which is still vivid to him till today, giving off the same uneasiness that it gave him that day-
The cab stopped. Richard jerked, picked Little Nell and placed her down. She kissed him and ran into the daycare screaming a friend's name. Richard smiled. He really has to stop throwing garbage into his internal garden (He had been reading that in A Monk Who Sold His Ferrari), although the garden had grown into a forest, crushing the ceiling and gone beyond control. Afterall, he didn't just take a leave out to brood and fret; the excuse was 'health and creative break'.
After instructing the cab driver to go to 'the biggest house in the city', he called and confirmed with Ehe that he was on his way and would be there in 10 mins. He closed the phone and had to stand to place the phone in his back pocket, and before he knew he had already filled the forest branches with plastics…
"That's why you fucking threw me that glance, huh. How can your mind stoop that low. Why would I marry you and raise a three-year-old, if I wanted to sleep with my 20-year-long friend."
"I have reason to doubt you shithead. Why did you suddenly stop getting physical with me, eh? You just used me you arsehole, I have enough esteem to know my beauty!"
Richard was broken. He slipped as he reached the doorway and lifted Little Nell who had been playing alone with stones. His eyes silenced Nell as they walked away. Nell looked from her Marmie to Papa who suddenly had a cold. He walked ahead, not turning back once.
Richard had thought to live in an apartment for the day; he hadn't just abandoned Jane. He wanted her to know how much he loved her. Her doubting him infuriated him. I get angry if you doubt me cause I trust you. I want you to see that. He wanted to stay away for one day till she came back to her senses and call him back. If not he could keep his ego aside for her and call her and apologize. Maybe swear on God that he'd never do such a thing. That was his idea, but when in the morning he heard the largest house in the city had nearly caught a deadly fire, he knew whose doing it was and got divorced (He was beyond thankful when his daughter chose him and still feels the weight of it).
The cab stopped. Richard jerked and opened the door. The 3-storyed glass house had had every sign of an ongoing party. The coloured lights made a face of Ehe and wrote "HB CELEBRATED LIGHTLY" above her head. The roof had rectangulr holes specially made, from which money was uniformly falling. That gotta be fake, not because she had so much respect for it, but because the Colonel was also inside. Richie strode ahead to meet the guard at the door who didn't even bother asking the invitation card but just smiled kindly.
"Hellooo, Robbie. Had your drink?"
"Not yet, Rich. Ain't wish to get fired now. When there are leftovers, would love to end this soberness, ah."
Richard snorted out a laugh and entered.
*****