Healing a heart can take months, even years. But the really difficult thing is to heal the scars: those that reopen when we least expect it and let the sea of memories sink us at night. Sometimes we think that we have overcome someone, that we have already left that chapter behind... but deep down we know it: we are lying to ourselves. That person is still there, tattooed. And no matter how much we try to cover that tattoo with another and another, it's always temporary.
A scar is not erased if we do not accept what we go through. If we don't assume our mistakes. If we don't understand that there are things that simply don't work, or that there are broken people... who end up breaking us too.
In order not to become that, we first have to see our own demons. Look at them head-on. Recognize the bad we carry inside to transform it, and embrace the good to strengthen it.
Without self-love, everything is chaos. Why do I say that? Because when self-love is missing, we don't know how to set limits. We don't know how to say "no". We become vulnerable, and broken people can consume us to the point of making us smile.
I know because I was there. Because I didn't know how to put a limit and allowed someone broken to destroy not my heart, but my soul. I let him use my fears and insecurities against me, while I stood still, motionless, begging through tears to stop hurting me.
Today I'm in a healing process. I'm recovering my essence. And I want to share my story with you: how it feels to be in a relationship where I didn't know how to put myself first, where I couldn't control my emotions, where I didn't know how to stop loving someone who didn't want - nor did I know - to be loved.
Let's not stop shining for someone who only shines at times.