Chapter 70: Birthday
After we'd been drinking for quite a while, most of us were pretty drunk. Dylan had already passed out on the sofa.
"Thank you, Taylor," I said as she brought us another round of drinks. At this point we had lost count of how many we'd had.
Seth joked, "Careful, Jake. She could kill you by accident if you said that word."
Everyone who knew the story went, "Uhhh."
"What's the story behind that?" Alex Kelly asked.
Taylor answered herself. "After I said, 'I love you' to Ryan, I got a 'thank you' back."
Alex winced, "at least he was polite…"
"Jake, why don't you kiss Haley so you can support Seth?" Ryan fired back.
Haley, still resting her head on my shoulder, raised an eyebrow. "Now I want to know."
"Lindsay is Seth's half‑aunt," Summer revealed, leaning into my other side. "They almost dated."
"Hey, it's still a little traumatic," Seth grumbled, though he'd mostly gotten over it.
"Don't worry, Seth, next time we'll make sure to run a DNA test first," I reassured him.
"Thank you," he replied sarcastically, "and I love you."
Taylor and Ryan chuckled, both clearly past the whole thing.
Alex jumped in. "And here I was thinking my life was messed up. You guys are way worse." She grinned.
"You were kicked out of school," Marissa teased her.
"For what?" Haley was always ready for gossip.
"I brought cigarettes and booze," she admitted, laughing as she took another sip.
"Speaking of that, Jake also got expelled," Taylor added.
"Hey, it's my birthday already. Shouldn't I get immunity during these rounds of embarrassing moments?" I complained.
A unanimous "No!" echoed around the group.
"Okay, fine. I got caught in the principal's office…" I paused, "for libidinous acts…"
Summer bit my shoulder. "Why am I not surprised?" she mocked. "Don't tell me it was with the principal?"
"No!" I protested instantly. "Her daughters."
"Plural??" Seth's eyes widened.
"Twins," I confirmed.
"One more about Jake," Haley encouraged the mob.
"I have one," Alex announced, staring straight at me.
I shrugged - sooner or later it would come out. Better now that everyone was drunk.
"I'm the one who sold the Ferrari to Jake," she revealed to those who didn't know. "And… we had a thing."
"What??" Summer and Marissa shouted at the same time.
"So, you bought a Ferrari and got a bonus test‑drive, huh?" Summer turned to me, dripping sarcasm.
Marissa stayed quiet for a moment, then scoffed. "Of course he did. He also hit on me the first time we met." She folded her arms. "Classic Jake."
"Coop, Alex and me - don't you know how to say a normal hi when you first meet a girl?" Summer made a face.
"I do. Ask Taylor or Anna," I countered.
"What about Haley?" Taylor smirked.
Haley almost sobered up and replied softly, "We met when Jake's mom… you know… passed away."
The room went awkwardly silent.
"It's okay, guys. I'm over it," I reassured them, kissing the top of Summer's head as she hugged me tighter.
I shifted the mood. "And there's a funny coincidence from when we first met, Coop - the cigarette we smoked was Alex's."
"And that was also when I met Ryan."
This time, Ryan was the one who started telling the story of how he ended up living with the Cohens.
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I woke up with a massive hangover. As I rubbed my eyes, I noticed someone else also sitting up in bed, holding her head like it was about to explode.
"My head…" Marissa muttered - then her eyes widened when she saw me.
"Don't tell me we…" She looked around and spotted Summer and Alex also lying in the bed.
"No," I denied immediately. Then, under my breath, I added, "Unfortunately." That earned me a sharp side‑glance from her.
"Oh, come on, a guy can always dream," I joked, raising my hands in surrender, trying to ease her glare.
"You are delusional," Marissa said, but without much conviction…
The other two were waking up as well.
Someone pushed the bedroom door open. "OH MY GOD!" Haley shouted when she saw the four of us in bed.
"Ohhh, who is screaming…" Summer whined.
Alex stood up, glanced at us, then went to her bag to grab something.
"Nothing happened," she told Haley, who still had her eyes wide open.
"How do you know?" I inquired. "You were the drunkest one here."
"We're still wearing clothes," she replied plainly, tossing one of the pills to me. For some reason, there were already bottles of water beside the bed.
"Better luck on the next birthday, big boy," she mocked.
"If anyone had sex here, please clean it up quietly," Summer mumbled sleepily.
"Hey, that would be totally wrong," I protested. "I'm the birthday boy, and I didn't."
"Oh, that's the part that's wrong?" Marissa scolded.
"You guys are meaner hungover than drunk," I commented as I took the pill, then handed it to Summer and Marissa.
"How did we end up sleeping together?" Marissa wondered.
And Alex explained, "It was Summer's idea," she said with a shrug.
"Huh," I looked around. "Why are you on the other side of the bed, Sunny girl?" I questioned, since I was on the left corner.
"That was my idea," Alex answered again. "So there wouldn't be any funny activities while I was asleep."
"Hmm, weren't you afraid I'd get confused and end up with Marissa?"
"You were drunk, but not stupid. You even left these water bottles next to the bed, saying we'd need them in the morning," Alex replied unbothered.
"Kudos to me," I saluted. "And to you - a drunk with memory."
Mine didn't work as well when I got drunk.
This time I asked my cousin, "Where is the rest?"
Haley replied, "Dylan already left, Anna and Taylor are still sleeping in the room we stayed in. And Ryan and Seth are sleeping cuddled together." She smirked.
"Ohhh," I shot up quickly, "we HAVE to take a picture of that."
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Later that day, after everyone had recovered, we went out for dinner at the restaurant. My whole family got together, and for once, nothing unusual happened.
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Author's Note: Jake is a nice guy - he might get a present one of these days. 😏
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