...
"Father, why won't you let me get close to those goblins and ogres... aren't you an ogre?"
The child's question made me go quiet.
Monsters and strange creatures, from the human perspective, are mostly greedy and brutal...
But monsters aren't human. How can you lump together the affairs of different races?
Take ogres, for instance. Actually, ogres eating humans is a very, very small portion of their diet. In fact, ogres eat everything, even including members of different tribes.
But compared to the magic lion pride at the other end of the forest, ogres actually ate very few people...
At least ogres ate people to fill their bellies, not for other reasons.
It's just because we look terrifying that humans use us to scare children, which is how we became known as ogres. I remember the old shaman telling me that humans originally called us jungle sub-trolls.
Actually, in most monsters' view, humans are way more brutal than ogres. Humans will casually invade monster territories when they're not even hungry, enslaving and hunting them... Humans want almost everything. To those monsters, this kind of killing and enslavement that isn't just for survival seems so strange, so brutal...
But I knew why. It was for a kind of metal called money... though I still never understood why humans would wage wars against each other over these metals... and sometimes even kill their own kind.
Of course, I couldn't tell Eugene all of this directly.
He was human, after all.
"You're human. To humans, goblins, ogres, and other monsters are dangerous, greedy, and brutal. They're your enemies. You absolutely cannot have even a shred of sympathy for them..."
Yes, I hated them too...
But I wouldn't deliberately slander them.
"But Father is so good. Aren't there any other ogres or goblins that are good?" Eugene asked, somewhat confused.
"Maybe there were, but they're probably all dead now." I pointed to a broken sword in the distance and said to Eugene, "The owner of that broken sword was once a kind human woman. In the end, she died because of her own kindness."
Maybe that's just how the world is.
But should good people have endings like that?
I didn't know. I couldn't figure it out, and I didn't want to understand... so I could only tell Eugene:
"Eugene, to judge whether a person is noble, you have to look at their soul. Race doesn't mean anything, but more importantly, remember to protect yourself. You always come first."
"Father, Eugene understands."
...
"Father, the bunny, it's not moving..."
Magic rabbits have short lifespans, usually less than three years. When I caught it, it was probably already over a year old, so its death was normal.
"Silly child, it's already dead..."
"Dead... but, but nothing came to hurt the bunny. Why would it die for no reason?" The child asked me.
This stumped me. I didn't know how to answer because I'd never thought about these things.
Birth, aging, sickness, and death seemed destined from the start.
But in the end, I still opened my mouth to explain and answer:
"Death is just returning to the place we were before we came to this world. Even without injury, every life's time in this world is limited."
"But Father, why could the bunny only stay for two years...?" Eugene asked me.
I knew he'd always been so eager to learn.
"I don't know. Probably this world is just unfair from birth. That's just what a magic rabbit's life is like. To us, it seems short, but think about it the other way. Our lifetime is just as short to long-lived elves and demons. I think the time we spend in this world doesn't matter in terms of length, but whether it has meaning."
I told Eugene.
That was a thought I'd developed after drifting for so long. Because Eugene was my meaning.
I didn't know how much longer I could live, but I could vaguely feel that my mind wasn't as clear as before, and my body wasn't as strong as it used to be.
I wasn't worried about aging or death coming. I was just worried that Eugene would lose his caretaker...
"Father, I don't really understand... I just feel a little uncomfortable."
"Child, someday you'll understand. Come on, let's go bury the bunny." I didn't explain too much to Eugene, just ruffled his hair.
Someday, he'd understand. It was just too cruel for him right now.
He should be carefree for now.
"Eugene, how about I teach you ogre language...?" I suggested to Eugene.
Throwing, climbing, and swimming, I'd already taught him everything I could. It was time to teach him ogre language too... maybe someday it would come in handy.
Recently, my father, the ogre tribe chief, seemed to be preparing to establish an ogre kingdom...
Honestly, I wasn't optimistic about it...
...
Sure enough.
My pessimism was right.
The establishment of the ogre kingdom immediately attracted extremely powerful human professionals to sweep through...
Fortunately, this had nothing to do with me. I had no feelings for that place.
But the increased vigilance and the chaotic monsters made getting food even more difficult.
Maybe it was time to let Eugene leave here. There was less and less I could teach him...
Since coming into contact with humans, I'd recognized how vast the world was.
Turns out this world was so big. There was also a continent on the other side of the sea with its own civilization. I wondered if the civilization on the other side of the sea was stronger, if there were ogres there.
And I wondered if the ogres there were the same as ours...
But the stronger and more civilized humans became, the better. That way Eugene would be safer.
During this time, I taught Eugene everything I knew. This child learned quickly. Whether fists, feet, or weapons, compared to me, he was more like a warrior.
...
"Father!!!"
This was the first time I lay in Eugene's arms. Had he really grown so big without me noticing?
Time really flew. In the blink of an eye, fourteen years had passed. Every time I wanted to send him away, but in the end, I was selfish.
"It's okay, I knew this day would come..." I tried to smile as I spoke to Eugene, but my injuries made me look rather fierce.
Good thing Eugene had grown up. Even without me, he could survive now.
"Father, who hurt you like this... It's okay, you can pull through. The herbs, where are the herbs...?"
"It's no use... Eugene, I know my own body better than you... Listen to me, let me finish my last words. I want to stay with you a little longer..."
Only now did I understand.
I really, really didn't want to leave this child...
If only I were an ogre warlock. With an injury like this, one regeneration spell would fix it.
But I wasn't.
I could feel death approaching. It was clearly summer, yet I felt cold.
"Father!"
This was the first time I'd seen Eugene cry so heartbrokenly.
I really wanted to reach out and wipe away his tears, but my claws had already been lost somewhere in this jungle.
"It's all my fault, all my fault. If it weren't for me... Father wouldn't have..."
"Don't cry, child." I rarely interrupted Eugene when he spoke, but now I had no choice.
I didn't know if it was the ogre constitution kicking in or the so-called moment of clarity before death, but my words flowed more smoothly.
I could clearly feel that death was getting closer and closer to me.
"It's not your fault, Eugene. Because... having you exist is what allowed me... to make it this far. Don't be sad... Remember when I found you? You cried even louder than this... But after seeing me... you smiled. You were so cute back then... I love seeing you smile... cough, cough."
When I coughed up blood again, I realized I probably didn't have much time left in this world. "Eugene! Promise me one thing, okay?"
What a shame. Only now did I realize I still had so much, so much I wanted to tell Eugene...
"Father, I promise you!" Eugene, this child, was still as straightforward as always...
"Don't try to find out who killed me, and don't be filled with hatred for the world. Hatred will only hurt you in the end... I don't want to see that."
I used my gaze to force Eugene to nod...
By then I was starting to lose clarity. I had to quickly explain what came next... That was the reason I'd held on until now.
"Child, remember what I told you? This world has been unfair from the beginning, so you have to become strong. Only then will no one be able to bully you.
Under your bed is a map of the surrounding towns I drew long ago. It should help you some.
Every year, mages come to town to test for talent. You can try. The wealth I left you should be enough for your schooling... I think.
If you don't have magic talent, the Church of Truth is also a good choice. You're so strong, they should accept you...
Eugene, you're too good-looking. Even as a boy, you might not be safe, so, so you have to be as careful as possible...
I looked into your background.
I feel like you're not from an ordinary family... But I'm sorry, Father couldn't find out anything all these years.
The surname Kaysin might be related to you... That was left at the place where I found you. If you want to find your family... you can try to keep investigating.
After all, you're ultimately... human... So you should have your own name...
Ah... Eugene.
I really wish I could watch you... grow up."
My whole life flashed before me like a slideshow. In the end, I couldn't see anything, couldn't hear anything...
So this was death... Too bad I couldn't tell Eugene the answer.
I hope Eugene, this child, won't be too sad.
It's not worth it.
After all, I'm just a... terrible and selfish father.