[Extraordinary Chat Group]
Lumine:
Hissssss—
Venti:
Hissssss—
Keqing:
Hissssss—
Yoimiya:
Hissssss—
Nilou:
Hissssss—
Everyone was collectively sucking in cold air through their teeth the entire time the video played.
There was simply no other way to express their shock.
After a long while…
Lumine:
So that's what "What Dragon King are you?" meant!
That was… exhilarating. 😳
Paimon:
She literally bombarded the Hydro Dragon King!
This is peak ✨ stimulation! 😈
Ayaka:
So that's why their commentaries were paired together…
Venti:
Ahaha~ I finally understand that Fontaine children's rhyme:
"Water Dragon, Water Dragon, please don't cry~" 🤭
Hu Tao:
Turns out it's because Navia beat him up first! 😂
Yae Miko:
And then the Water Dragon cried…
And then Fontaine got flooded…
So…
Nahida:
Therefore, the true culprit behind the Prophecy Crisis… is Navia! (serious face)
Charlotte:
Logical! Convincing! I support this! 🤣
Dehya:
Nice! Should we try this method in the desert too?
Candace:
Sounds reasonable~ 😌
Alice:
Unlike the otter incident —
This time, Navia went head-to-head with the Chief Justice!
Pure rebellion energy!
Lumine:
THAT'S MY BOSS!
COMMANDING THE CANNONS — ELEGANTLY! 😤
Zhongli:
Indeed.
To promise artillery in three days,
and deliver artillery in three days — admirable resolve.
Wriothesley:
Beautifully done. 👍
Clorinde:
cough The mushroom cloud was… majestic.
Ei:
Tribunal, initiate.
Dvalin:
Fellow Dragon King… please leave the group. (sigh)
Neuvillette:
…
Navia:
…
The teasing was relentless.
Then—
Klee:
Wow! Navia-sister is amazing!
Her words are amazing! Her bombs are amazing!
Klee likes her!!
Lumine:
Of course!
Our Navia is the very definition of civilized and gentle. 😌
Venti:
"Exquisite Fontainian Vocabulary" 🎶
Alice:
Do you even understand the value of a Fontaine warlord!? 😏
Paimon:
So this is the power of the Wild Rose of Fontaine!
I'm in love! 😍
Jean:
Klee—
DO.
NOT.
LEARN THIS. 😱
Navia was crying emojis now.
Navia:
I'm a lady!! 😭
Chevreuse:
A lady who can obliterate the Opera House with one round of artillery 💪
Alice:
If you'd like, I can modify your cannons —
so you can blow up the entire Palais Mermonia next time~ ✨
Klee:
Klee can help!! 🤩
Lumine:
Today she dares strike the Water Dragon King—
Tomorrow she'll strike the Water God—
And the day after—
Paimon cannot even imagine 😱
Lynette:
😨
Venti:
😨
Zhongli:
😨
Ei:
😨
Nahida:
😨
Furina:
HELLO!?
The Water God is RIGHT HERE!
You dare to bombard the Palais Mermonia?
YOU DARE TO BOMBAR—!?
Navia:
…
How did a small trade union leader suddenly get lumped in with assaulting the Archon??
Arthur's Stream
Arthur was chuckling hard with the barrage of memes.
"Bombarding the Palais Mermonia?
Why stop there?
Maybe Mondstadt should execute the 'Barbatos Plan' and blitz Fontaine next?"
A new idea sparked.
Future livestream content: International Warfare — Teyvat Edition.
He saved that thought for later.
"It seems everyone now understands our Fontaine Warlord."
"One Rosefire Barrage, and the Dragon King cries pearls for a whole day."
"Today's commentary ends here.
I'll upload the full video shortly.
Same time tomorrow — next character!"
He ended the stream and began editing as usual.
Next theme: Archon Series.
Both Neuvillette and Navia exhaled deeply as the screen dimmed.
Only when it was over did they truly understand the trauma.
Being the star of the commentary…
was a terrifying experience.
[Extraordinary Chat Group]
Kuki Shinobu:
Summary of the day:
Serious Commentary — Neuvillette:
"Doesn't understand human emotions," "Justice."
Unserious Commentary — Neuvillette:
"Water connoisseur," "Otter-vilette."
Serious Commentary — Navia:
"Tragic resolve," "Optimism."
Unserious Commentary — Navia:
"Miss Soybean," "What Dragon King are you?"
Itto:
My deputy is the BEST!! 😤
Lumine:
Shinobu must be a top-tier student!
Always summarizing on time!
Yanfei:
Indeed! She has certifications in:
basic culinary arts, sewing, actuarial trainee, health management, HR…
and more.
Paimon:
Wh—?! That many!?
Alice:
A true "overachiever," alongside
Jean, Keqing, Ganyu, and Neuvillette!
Venti:
Boss relaxes.
Subordinates suffer. 😎
Ayato:
Arataki Gang lucked out with such a vice leader~
Itto:
Wahahaha! Of course!!
Shinobu:
quiet suffering
Ningguang:
Fewer items today,
but each one was high quality.
Alice:
Yes — "water connoisseur" and "bombarding the Dragon King"
already exceed expectations.
Furina:
My Inazuma water~
Clean and hygienic~ 🥰
Everyone:
…
Inazuma Water: Trauma No.1 has been unlocked.
Zhongli:
But the greatest revelation remains…
The true origin of Fontaine's people.
Everyone silently nodded.
Whatever jokes were made today—
Nothing topped the fact:
Fontainians are not human.
They are purified water beings.
What that meant for the future…
Only the Water Archon's full commentary could reveal.
To shift the mood—
Lumine:
Enough doom and gloom!
Time for the best part — the Mystery Box Rewards! 🤩
Paimon:
Yes yes!! Rewards!! 🎁
Everyone perked up.
Reward Distribution
A mechanical voice echoed across Teyvat:
Ding! Commentary complete.
Selected individuals receive random rewards.
The screen lit again —
showing Neuvillette in Palais Mermonia
and Navia in Poisson Village.
Two golden comets streaked down —
landing upon them.
Ding! Congratulations to Neuvillette
Reward: Mysterious Water Cup
Produces one random water per day.
May include water with supernatural effects.
Note: Effect applies to one person only.
Ding! Congratulations to Navia
Reward: "Fire The Cannon!" Buff
The louder you shout, the stronger the artillery.
Chat froze for a second.
Then—
Lumine:
These rewards are… kinda strange??
Paimon:
First one feels like my food tablecloth!
But… only water??
Barbara:
Random water?
Could be healing water??
Alice:
Or revival. Or erosion-cleansing.
It's basically a water-themed mystery box.
Pure RNG.
Everyone:
👀👀👀👀👀
Inazuma — Tenshukaku
Ei shot up from her seat.
"Miko.
Did you hear that?"
Yae Miko nodded.
"Water that might revive the dead…"
Her voice finally serious.
Ei's hand clenched.
"Then we might…
revive my sister…"
But Miko immediately cautioned:
"Only one attempt per day.
Only one person can benefit.
Competition will be fierce.
And the Water Dragon King isn't someone you can easily strong-arm."
Ei fell silent.
Logic was bitter — but true.
Yet…
"…But at least there is hope."
Miko softened and smiled.
"Yes.
After 500 years,
what's a little longer?"
Ei:
Neuvillette.
Should you obtain water that revives life or cures erosion…
the Shogunate will offer a worthy exchange.
Zhongli:
The same for Liyue.
Venti:
I don't have mora, but~
I'll figure something out~
Nahida:
I… me too. 😣
Every Archon was suddenly
extremely interested.
Palais Mermonia
Neuvillette nodded calmly:
"Understood.
If such power appears,
I will notify you."
Fontaine's future also depended on this chance.
Furina bit her lip with nervous hope.
"Neuvillette…
Do you think that water could solve the Prophecy Crisis…?"
He hesitated.
"It might.
But only might."
Still—
that was enough for her eyes to shine again.
"A chance is enough!"
Even if slim —
it existed.
Furina:
"Try it! Try it right now!"
Neuvillette took a deep breath.
He held up the Mysterious Water Cup.
Identical to his usual cup —
yet now containing the weight of Fontaine's destiny.
Everything depended on
his luck…
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