"Why am I involved in this again…?"
Navia stared at the sky helplessly.
Honestly—even if it had to be someone—shouldn't Furina have been a better choice!?
That goddess would have enjoyed this humiliation!
But now?
Now it was her turn.
She exhaled deeply.
If she kept thinking about it, she'd just stress herself to death.
Better focus on the urgent work: relocating the townsfolk.
Fontaine — Palais Mermonia
Neuvillette stared at the screen in heavy silence…
He had been poisoned by Inazuma water earlier. That was already humiliating enough.
But this—this was a new level.
Turned into a tiny sea otter, then bullied by two of his own subordinates!?
Just imagining hindsight:
Him in a furry sea-otter body…
Then Clorinde teasing him with a toy stick, and Wriothesley rubbing his belly—
Neuvillette physically shuddered.
Beside him, Furina was laughing so hard she nearly fell off her chair.
"Ahahahaha!! Neuvillette the Sea Otter!!
Even the great Chief Justice has a day like THIS!
Tomorrow's headlines are secured!"
Her eyes were watering from laughter.
Neuvillette: …I will remember this.
When her turn for the "unserious commentary" comes…
He. Will. Be. Watching.
And smiling.
[Extraordinary Chat Group]
Lumine:
Shocking! A nation's Chief Justice gets toy-teased by his own employees!
Is this moral decline or simply the collapse of law and order!?
Charlotte:
Traveler, please join the Steam Bird. You were born to write headlines.
Lyney:
My image of Neuvillette… shattered…
Lynette:
Don't worry, brother. Yours will be too, someday.
Lyney:
...??
Arlecchino:
Didn't someone claim they were very loyal a while ago?
(fox-grin emoji)
Paimon:
Loyalty means teasing your boss with a toy stick! (badly-drawn smile)
Clorinde:
That was the person in the video.
Has nothing to do with me.
All of Teyvat:
Sure… we totally believe you.
Wriothesley:
Honestly? If that ever happened for real…
I'd like to try touching the fur. Just once.
Sigewinne:
Lord Duke, reality is off-limits.
(although… … it does sound soft)
Neuvillette:
Wriothesley.
We are facing a national crisis soon.
Come see me later—I will personally train you.
Wriothesley:
Please clarify: is this professional discipline or revenge!?
Neuvillette:
I am Justice itself.
How could I possibly act out of revenge? 😊
You may choose to attend training…
…or I will personally escort you there. 😊
Wriothesley:
... I suddenly miss prison.
Neuvillette:
Also—Clorinde.
Navia's case: evidence on my desk within 24 hours.
Clorinde:
…Understood.
Everyone else:
So the dragon does hold grudges.
Then Yae Miko decided to stir trouble:
Yae Miko:
Let's imagine:
What if the Shogun became a tiny plush doll one day~
Wouldn't someone want to touch?
Just once?
It's a once-in-a-lifetime chance~
Right, Kujou Sara?
Kujou Sara instantly pictured:
Holding a tiny Raiden doll…
Squeezing her cheeks…
Scratching her head…
"No! No no no!
This is disrespectful!!"
Her heart, however, whispered: but… tempting…
Kujou Sara:
I-I would never! Even if General turned into a plush toy!
Raiden Shogun nodded.
Good. Loyal.
Yae Miko:
Then show your devotion.
Go express your love.
Worst case? Same as Fontaine's duo:
Just a little prison time~
Or do you lack the courage to be jailed for your Archon?
Sara's brain:
That… actually sounds noble…???
Kujou Sara:
Then… should I… maybe… try touching—?
Raiden Shogun:
...
Yae Miko:
Aha!
Disrespect!
Court martial!
Arrest this fox's prey— I mean, criminal! 😈
Sara:
...
Everyone:
Miko is too dangerous.
Just as evil as the Traveler.
While the chat spiraled into chaos, the screen lit up again—
Livestream Room
Arthur cleared his throat, smiling:
"Unserious Commentary for Navia,
Item One — Miss Soybean!"
He displayed two images:
Navia's adorable face (front view)
and
the Sweating Soybean emoji
Side-by-side.
Everyone froze.
Fontaine — Poisson Village
Navia:
"Miss… Soybean…??
They mean… me?"
Mileës:
It says so, Miss.
Silver:
But why soybeans? We don't sell beans…
Navia:
Please do not compare me to… legumes.
Chat Group
Lumine:
Miss Soybean??
Is this nickname legally allowed!?
Paimon:
Very on-brand with "Neuvillette-the-Otter." 😂
Furina:
So, is it… because she looks like a soybean?
Hu Tao:
But she doesn't?? She's way too pretty!
Alice:
Exactly—no soybean could ever be this gorgeous. 😏
Navia:
…Thank you? I think?
Barbara:
Maybe because her outfit has lots of yellow?
Navia:
…Is that seriously all?
Arthur cheerfully explained:
"Navia's front-view portrait+Sweating Soybean emoji Destiny."
He showed them side-by-side once more.
Everyone:
THEY ARE IDENTICAL.
Navia's eyes widened.
So did Poisson Town's.
Mileës and Silver slowly turned to look at her again…
…
…
They could never un-see it.
Navia:
I hate it here.
Chat Group — chaos continues
Lumine:
Teyvat memeing technology is scary.
Keqing:
You'll get used to it.
Ganyu:
Yesterday the chat said Keqing fought an Electro Slime and only saw "IMMUNE IMMUNE IMMUNE."
I laughed.
Keqing:
…
Paimon:
Hey! Wait! The chat group has emoji support!?
Everyone:
DISCOVERED NEW FEATURE!
Then:
Lumine:
(Sweating Soybean emoji)
Navia:
(Sweating Soybean emoji)… from myself…
If you can't fight them—
Join them.
Miko:
(evil fox smirk)
Neuvillette:
(…silent rain emoji)
Then Cyno posted:
(Smiling.)
The mood instantly died.
Everyone:
That is not a smile.
That is a threat.
Thankfully, the screen lit again—saving them.
Livestream Room
Arthur:
"Ready for more?
Unserious Commentary — Navia
Item Two: What kind of Dragon King are you?"
Screen fades to white—
To read advanced Chapters, head over to p@treon:
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