[Supernal Chat Group]
Diona: Pure water mimics? All of Fontaine's people are pure water mimics?? (shock.jpg)
Venti: Probably not everyone, but definitely the majority.
Ningguang: So that's Fontaine's origin… truly unbelievable.
Ayaka: Hard to imagine how I'd react if this happened to me.
Nilou: Just thinking about it is scary… Fontaine must be in chaos…
Neuvillette: The prophecy has circulated for centuries. The people are mentally prepared to a degree. With guidance, unrest will settle.
Neuvillette: As for White Glove Town — Lady Furina is already mobilizing assistance.
Arlecchino: Navia, I've sent personnel as well. You'll need support.
Navia: Thank you!
Jean: If Mondstadt can provide aid, we will.
Keqing: Liyue as well.
Ei: Inazuma… still needs time to grow…
Nahida: Sumeru's decision depends on the Akademiya.
Neuvillette: Thank you, all. For now this is just relocation — Fontaine can handle it.
Alice: The real question is how to resolve the prophecy!
Zhongli: Traveler, how did you resolve this in the original future?
Barbara: Wait yeah — the first review already said you solved it! We can just ask her!
Yoimiya: Makes perfect sense!
Ayaka: And if necessary, I can use the Any Door to bring Traveler to Fontaine!
Neuvillette & Furina perked up—
Right!
Traveler might know something!
Neuvillette: Traveler, please, any guidance would help. No matter the outcome, you will be Fontaine's most honored guest!
Furina: Traveler~ how about one more act of blasphemy against the Archon?
Navia: Partner! White Glove Town depends on you! Mora and Primogems — I'll pay anything!!
Wanmin Restaurant — Liyue
Lumine sighed helplessly.
If she could, she would love to help.
Saving a whole nation? Tons of rewards, prestige, fame—
But…
She hasn't even been to Fontaine yet.
This prophecy? First time she'd heard of it.
Lumine:
"Future me… how the heck did you do it…?"
"It can't just be because we threw the Hydro Archon into court, right…?"
Meanwhile Paimon…
Eating. Blissfully eating.
Paimon:
"Mm, eat more! Maybe ideas will come while eating~"
She shoveled food into her mouth.
Xiangling beamed and piled more food.
Soon the pile was taller than Paimon.
Lumine facepalmed.
Always eating…
Never helping…
Bottomless stomach…
…Bottomless.
Lumine froze.
A bold idea popped into her head.
And then—
[Supernal Chat Group]
Lumine:
Everyone, sorry to keep you waiting. Ahem.
I… might have a bold theory!
But I'll say first — I've never been to Fontaine.
I might be wrong!
Neuvillette: Speak freely.
Furina: It's fine~ You won't get the death penalty~
Lumine twitched.
Death penalty?? Seriously!?
She continued anyway:
Lumine:
I think it might have something to do with Paimon.
Lumine:
Because Paimon can eat.
Very much eat.
To a terrifying degree.
Lumine:
Like, Ganyu needs to watch her diet.
Paimon? Never!!
Lumine:
Tiny body — infinite food capacity.
Never gains weight.
Lumine:
It's like her stomach is a black hole.
Lumine:
So maybe…
Paimon just drank all the Primordial Sea Water!!
Lumine:
Lois (the drug) tastes great because of the Primordial Sea Water, right?
The original version must taste even better!
Lumine:
What food maniac could resist infinite delicious water??
Lumine:
And since she's not a Fontainian — she won't dissolve!
Normally, everyone would laugh this off.
But after all the revelations…
People actually started thinking.
Unlimited appetite.
Bottomless stomach.
Primordial water = delicious.
A bottomless-eating creature finds an infinite source of delicious water…
…kind of logical???
Traveler might actually be a genius…?
Wanmin Restaurant — Reality
Paimon froze mid-bite.
Her eyes widened in horror.
She—
She drank the entire sea??
Paimon:
SLANDER!! COMPLETE SLANDER!!
Traveler is ruining my good name!!!
Barbara: I never imagined you would be the one shouting that line, Paimon…
Venti: Hehe~ Just admit you're a foodie?
Ganyu: Admit you always eat and never gain weight?
Ayaka: Admit you like sweet, tasty water?
Yanfei: Conclusion — confirmed! Paimon drank all of Fontaine's primordial water!
Paimon: trembling with rage
They… they make sense!!
If she didn't know better — she'd believe it too!
Xiangling cheerfully offered more food:
Xiangling:
Here, Paimon~
Eat more so you have strength to drink more Primordial Sea Water later!
Paimon's face darkened.
Then she remembered—
That water contains… dissolved Fontainians.
She gagged.
Paimon:
hurk—!!
She flew away and vomited behind a pillar.
Xiangling: (confused.png)
Now everyone was brainstorming chaos:
Amber:
Just move to another nation! The sea can't swallow all of Teyvat, right?
Ningguang:
Too many people. No nation can house them.
Ganyu:
And not everyone wants to flee their homeland.
Hu Tao:
Easy! Swap populations!
Fontainians move out — we move in!
Yanfei:
…Is Hu Tao a genius?
Zhongli:
Even if possible, divine punishment may still follow.
Eula:
What about freezing the sea?
Alhaitham:
Primordial water ≠ ordinary water.
Though… if Cyno goes and tells bad jokes—
Tighnari:
Great idea! Cyno, go lecture the water!
Cyno:
…
Dehya:
Sumeru's desert borders Fontaine, right?
We divert the Primordial Sea water into the desert!
Nilou:
That's brilliant!
Fontaine saved, desert watered! Two birds, one stone!
Alice:
Hold up.
What about half-Fontainians?
Would they dissolve… halfway?
Yoimiya:
Half… meaning??
Kokomi:
One parent from Fontaine, one from another nation.
Shenhe:
Then perhaps only half the body dissolves.
Cloud Retainer:
…
Furina, Neuvillette and the entire nation:
"…"
Ridiculous? Yes.
But… kind of… theoretically possible???
They thanked the brainstorm politely:
Neuvillette:
We appreciate everyone's input.
You are always welcome to visit Fontaine — we will treat you well.
Then he sighed deeply.
Back to calming riots…
Villa — Livestream
Arthur stared at the chat.
Paimon drinking the ocean??
Intercontinental population swap??
Diverting oceans into deserts??
South-to-North Water Transfer Project: Teyvat Edition??
He clapped.
"Are they… geniuses??"
Absurd —
but surprisingly logical.
He coughed—
Back to business:
"We covered Navia's tragic themes."
"Now — Official Review #2: Optimism and Resilience"
"Most people would collapse experiencing even one of her tragedies."
"She lived through all of them — and still smiles."
"Warm-hearted, witty, social."
"A baker who makes macarons so good even Paimon praises them."
"Her Constellation: Wild Rose."
A flower blooming even in barren soil.
Unpretentious beauty.
A symbol of rebellion against fate.
Perfectly matching Navia's spirit.
"There is only one kind of true heroism —
To recognize the truth of life and still love it."
"May this wild rose of Fontaine always remain bright, cheerful, and full of life."
Arthur genuinely admired her.
White Glove Town
Navia was encouraging evacuees:
"Don't panic! The Spina di Rosula will protect you!"
"Trust Lady Furina and Lord Neuvillette!"
"Gather your belongings — we move soon!"
"There is still time!"
Miles & Silver assisted tirelessly.
Yet Navia kept her ear on the broadcast —
She didn't want to miss anything important.
When she heard:
Recognizing truth yet still loving life…
She whispered:
"Optimistic… full of spirit…?"
Her lips curved into a firm, radiant smile.
"Rest assured."
"This wild rose will bloom as you hope!"
Her people gazed upon her:
A true leader.
A daughter Fontaine could be proud of.
[Supernal Chat Group]
Venti:
To stay bright after so much pain — that takes real strength.
Zhongli:
Her father would be proud.
Ayaka:
I'd love to meet her someday.
Kuki Shinobu:
Elegant yet grounded… like my boss in some ways.
Itto:
WAHAHA yes!! Life must be lived LOUD!!
Charlotte:
Once this is over — exclusive interview!!
Alice:
Such charisma… she'd make a great idol.
Villa
Arthur smiled.
"To summarize:
Though life dealt Navia countless wounds—
she stands tall, charming, sharp, courageous."
"She can fire cannons and defeat crime."
"She can bake macarons and giggle while fishing."
"She is both a noble umbrella—
and a sharp sword."
"A wild rose in full bloom,
lovely and powerful."
"This concludes the serious review."
"Next—
our familiar NOT serious review!"
To read advanced Chapters, head over to p@treon:
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