He looked for a way to hide his pain through vices, drinking and women. Pretending that this way I could forget her but in reality she was slowly destroying herself.
She was looking for a way to make her jealous by being with others but in reality that way he was pushing her further and further away, making her feel rejection and at some point confusion.
She, on the other hand, walked away, she knew that the best thing was to keep her distance or her heart would end up in a thousand pieces and her mind would end up confused, more than it already was. I still loved and wanted him because I sought to give him all the love and affection he had to give, so that he could see that it is easy to love him. She was able to forgive her everything as long as she didn't leave her side, because in the moments when both seemed to be one, she felt full again.
Those moments where they could look into each other's eyes without having to talk because they already understood each other, those moments when in the afternoon they enjoyed the sunset in silence, letting the summer breeze caress their skin while their souls touched. At that very moment she looked at him appreciating every corner of his face, from his mouth, his relaxed jaw, his nose, his bright brown hair and just at that moment he opened his eyes and looked at her, smiled sideways barely showing his teeth, and the sun illuminated like a lighthouse illuminates a sea, his honey-colored eyes with small yellow and brown details near his pupil.
That image, that sunset, those eyes were tattooed in every corner of his mind.
She never knew if he saw her the same way or if he was able to remember her. But she did, no matter how much she ignored him, she thought of him when she saw a sunset, when she heard the song I sang to her while lying down, every night when she didn't feel the warmth of her body close, when she didn't feel the touch of his hands caressing her, his hug before going to sleep and the kiss on the forehead making her feel safe from the darkness.
Today without him at night she suffers from insomnia because when she closes her eyes she sees him, she is cold because she does not feel him by her side and she no longer has anyone to protect her from the darkness so she has to face the monsters alone.
His inner girl misses him because only he was able to take away that fear of darkness that not even his mother had achieved, he doesn't know it but when she organized his birthday his inner girl was preparing everything with details. Every time she bothered him to make him laugh it was his inner child wanting to hear his laugh, for his inner child to play.
Maybe he never noticed any of that, he doesn't want to accept that she loved him with every part of her soul and just wanted to see him happy.
Today he is no longer there, I leave her alone, I leave her with her heart in her hands, a heart that was willing to do everything to love him.
He seeks to forget her through other skins and women.
She seeks to forget it through words. Write until there is no more to say in his heart, write what he would have liked to tell him; like that I love you in the middle of the night in his bed with the lights off, the whole room was silent, what's more, he could swear that if you paid attention to that silence you could hear his heart beating waiting for that longed-for I love you to come out of her.
She didn't say it I don't know if out of fear but something inside her told her that that I love you was not going to be reciprocated. And he got it right, it wasn't.
Today their bodies are no longer close to each other, she no longer looks at him, she does not talk to him, I eliminate him from all her networks, he on the contrary looks at her, seeks to get her attention by giving her jealousy pretending that he has already overcome her with someone else. But he still misses her...
She is going to move away little by little no matter how much she loves him, she is not going to look for him no matter how much she misses him, she is not going to try to replace him with anyone because her skin still feels him.
She's just going to find a way to move forward without him.