It was already nearing June when Symboli Rudolf finally returned to Tracen Academy.
She was exactly the same as she'd been a few months ago—nothing about her had changed.
Before her return, Symboli Rudolf had informed Sirius in advance.
So when she stepped back into the Student Council room again, Rudolf found the room empty, just as expected.
Seeing the deserted room didn't particularly bother Rudolf. She simply entered, shutting the heavy wooden doors behind her.
Walking over to the main seat and sitting down, Rudolf glanced at the neatly stacked, sparse documents. Immediately, she knew Sirius had been helping handle her work—perhaps with assistance from Maruzensky and Mr. C.B.
Considering Sirius's limited efficiency in managing such matters, there was no way the documents could have been cleared so thoroughly without their help.
Thinking of this, Rudolf merely let out a quiet sigh.
She wanted to thank those two personally, but…
"You've already been blacklisted, what else is there to think about?"
Laughing mockingly to herself, Rudolf picked up the file on the table.
"I missed recruitment again this year, huh? Let's see if next year brings better luck."
With that, Rudolf began quietly working through the documents.
There weren't many files left, so dealing with them was straightforward enough.
After finishing the final paper, Rudolf removed her glasses. "Next…"
She leaned back in her chair, lost in thought.
Since officially retiring, her days consisted almost entirely of handling whatever minor matters the Student Council required.
Apart from that, she had nothing else to do.
Precisely because of that emptiness, Rudolf could only sit quietly, pondering what to do next.
Yet inevitably, as if pulled by a magnet, her thoughts drifted toward that person again.
She knew she shouldn't dwell on her anymore, yet—as she had once confessed to Symboli Speed—
She still couldn't let go.
If she could have truly moved on, perhaps she would have long since apologized in person and then…
Maybe she'd apply to graduate from Tracen Academy and then volunteer for twenty to fifty years of polar research.
At least in a place like that, Rudolf wouldn't have to fear accidentally encountering Tokai Natural again, wouldn't have to risk inflicting more psychological harm upon her.
But Rudolf hadn't yet let go.
She knew broken mirrors couldn't be mended; she understood that spilled water couldn't be retrieved.
Yet, like someone drowning, even if all that was left was a disconnected straw, she'd still grasp desperately at it.
Hope was beautiful.
Hope was dangerous.
And for Rudolf, that faint, barely visible glimmer—like something you'd struggle to spot in pitch darkness even through a telescope, like the fleeting flame of a single struck match—was the reason she still couldn't set this matter aside.
Because she was that drowning person.
Her emotions kept telling her not to abandon any chance.
Yet rationally, she knew any chance had vanished long ago.
Thus, she wanted to apologize directly to Tokai Natural—face to face—and then disappear somewhere quietly to live out the rest of her life.
But she lacked the courage to give up her slim hope.
At least Luna, as she was right now, lacked that kind of courage.
After yet another round of hesitation, Rudolf eventually abandoned her plan to travel to France to apologize, finally opening her eyes once more.
As she opened them, the ticking of the wall clock echoed clearly through the Student Council room.
The chimes quickly confirmed the time for Rudolf.
"Already four o'clock, huh… I should leave."
After neatly stacking the papers, Rudolf stood up.
Now she had fewer responsibilities and fewer things to manage.
Once the duties of the Student Council President were handed over, Rudolf would become just another ordinary Uma Musume.
So having completed her tasks, it was indeed time to head back to the dorm.
Walking back along the path, Rudolf finally reached her dorm room.
Pushing open the door once more, she saw an interior unchanged from months ago.
Surveying the familiar sight, Rudolf's expression softened slightly, as if she'd finally shed some heavy burden.
Approaching the table by the window, Rudolf ran a finger lightly across the dust cover, immediately feeling the thick accumulation beneath.
This confirmed that no one had entered this room in her absence.
Though, of course, that was natural—Rudolf had no roommate.
Thus, it made perfect sense that the dorm room would have been left untouched.
Holding up her finger, noting the dust on its tip, Rudolf's expression remained relaxed, unchanged since entering.
Taking in the empty dorm once more, Rudolf pulled out her phone.
With its cracked screen flickering, Rudolf navigated to Twitter.
The screen displayed more news from France.
Gazing silently at its contents, Rudolf hesitated.
Just as she lacked the courage to abandon hope, she also lacked the courage to fully grasp news about Tokai Natural.
Ultimately, she closed the phone again.
After setting it aside, Rudolf lifted the dust cover from the chair.
Seated once more, she did not pick up her phone again, instead merely gazing upward at the wooden ceiling boards.
She sank slowly into contemplation.
Eventually, enveloped in darkness, Rudolf drifted into sleep.
...
Late that night, Rudolf awoke abruptly.
Because she'd dreamt of something—something she believed could definitely happen, yet something she deeply feared would become reality.
Her dream was neither about apologizing to Tokai Natural nor about Natural accepting her apology and cleanly cutting ties thereafter.
Instead, Rudolf had dreamt of Natural responding warmly to her apology.
And the two of them reconciling.
She remembered feeling so incredibly happy, so deeply joyful within that dream.
Yet—
it was precisely that dream that jolted Rudolf awake in terror.
She knew such a thing could never possibly happen.
And she dreaded that impossible possibility.
Because she could accept Tokai Natural never forgiving her, could accept being forever ignored as if she no longer existed.
But she couldn't accept the notion of once more sharing happiness—real, shared happiness—with Tokai Natural.
She could handle every terrible ending imaginable.
Yet when confronted with a scenario so beautiful it felt like something out of a fairy tale—
Rudolf felt only fear.
---
T/N: hmmmmmmmmmm
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