His touch moved across me like a slow, inevitable eclipse-shadow swallowing light-conquering every trembling inch of my body. I didn't resist. I couldn't. Something in me wanted him to claim me, to lose myself in the warmth of his hands even though I didn't understand why my heart called for him with such desperate hunger.
His fingers tightened around mine, firm and unyielding, as if he were binding my soul to his will. My body surrendered so easily it terrified me. He pulled me toward him with a strength that felt like fate itself, then pushed me onto the bed, holding my wrists effortlessly in one hand. When his lips brushed the side of my neck-barely a breath, barely a touch-my entire body shivered with a shock so deep it stole the thoughts from my mind. My heartbeat roared in my ears, wild and frantic, my thoughts dissolving into helpless surrender as his warm breath swept over my skin.
Then he whispered against my ear, low and dangerous, "Why aren't you resisting? Why do you allow me to do anything to you?"
Tears welled up without warning. My voice cracked as I answered, "You bought me... treated me better than anything I ever dreamed. You gave me a life I never thought I'd have. I don't know why, but my heart wants to serve you forever. My body, my life-they feel like they're yours. If you wanted to use me, even destroy me... I'd still choose you."
Akira released me, but I remained still, unable to move.
"You're walking into darkness," he murmured, voice thick with something I couldn't read. "You're like a child wandering deeper and deeper into a place where there is no light."
I stood, trembling, and before fear could stop me, I wrapped my arms around him. My body pressed against his strong frame, and somehow I gathered the courage to whisper into his ear, "Maybe I don't understand love... but whatever I feel for you, I want to call it love. Even if you don't feel the same, I just want to belong to you."
He held me tightly for a moment-too tightly-and whispered, "Who said I don't love you."
But then he stepped away, walked toward the door, and without turning back said, "Stop this. You're better without me. Kill these feelings before they ruin you."
Then he left.
Just when I felt closer to him than ever, he tore that fragile closeness apart, leaving a hollow, burning ache in my chest. I cried through the night, clutching the ghost of his touch on my skin. His kiss lingered like a bruise-sweet, aching, unforgettable, and unbearably painful.
I didn't realize when exhaustion finally dragged me into sleep.
When morning came, I felt unchanged-broken exactly the way I had been last night. I bathed mechanically, preparing for work though my heart still throbbed with hurt. In the mirror I saw a girl who had reached too far for something she was never meant to hold. His touch still haunted me, so strong that I scrubbed my skin desperately, as if I could wash away the memories. But feelings don't fade with soap. They burned deeper.
By the time I reached Pearl's cabin, I was barely holding myself together. She touched my shoulder gently, whispering, "Sweetheart, are you alright? Why so quiet?"
"I'm fine," I lied, though my voice barely existed.
She didn't push further. She already knew.
Then Akira walked in. I tried not to look, but the moment my eyes caught his, every wound reopened. I had asked for something-just once-and I had been rejected. It felt like the universe wanted to remind me that some dreams were forbidden to people like me.
Pearl noticed the tension instantly. She pulled me forward and snapped, "What happened between you two? You look like strangers who share a wound."
My eyes stung. I couldn't speak. I left the room before my tears betrayed me.
I didn't know what was said after I left, nor did I care. All I knew was that he had played with my heart-held me, touched me, kissed me-knowing perfectly well what I felt for him... and then he rejected me.
I hated him for that.
And yet, beneath the hatred, the longing for him still clawed at my soul.
Back in my room, I sat on my bed, drowning in the silence. Pearl came a few minutes later, sat beside me, and stroked my hair gently.
"He found your letters, didn't he? And he rejected you."
I didn't answer, but my silence told her everything.
She hugged me softly. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. You don't know his life. The feelings inside you... they're just a reaction to how he treated you. Be a good girl. Live your life. I'm not saying this for his sake-I'm saying it for yours. He's my brother, and you're my friend. He doesn't deserve a heart as soft as yours."
She gave me the day off and left.
I stayed on my bed until nightfall, empty and numb.
Then the alarms shattered the stillness. Explosions echoed across the base-gunfire, shouts, fire erupting in the distance. Panic seized me. The camp was under attack. I crawled beneath my bed, trembling, watching flames flicker through the window.
When the heat grew unbearable, I ran out, searching for Pearl, but she was nowhere. A soldier yelled that foreign jets had bombed the base-war had begun-and rushed off before I could ask more.
Smoke filled the corridors. Fire swallowed the rooms. I was trapped, coughing, calling for help as the flames closed in around me.
Through the chaos, a figure burst from the smoke-moving fast, determined.
He grabbed me, lifting me into his arms. Even through the fear, even through the burning air, I recognized that touch instantly.
It was Akira.