11:47 p.m.
The Black Orchid was still vibrating with bass, but behind the bar, Nari seemed to be living in another world.
Her hands were mechanically polishing a glass, over and over, as if repetition could keep her from thinking, keep her from feeling.
Aera burst in like a beam of light, as if she carried all the life Nari had lost.
— Tomorrow, we're going to a restaurant, okay?
It's my day off! I'm gonna get drunk!
And I need to find a hookup, HA HA!
Nari smiled.
A tiny smile, microscopic, a smile that lasted half a second before collapsing like a soggy house of cards.
She wanted to.
Really.
Wanted it so much it almost brought tears to her eyes — the urge to be free, to laugh, to breathe something other than Sion, to find the light she'd lost.
But…
Sion's voice crashed through her skull without warning.
A cold voice, hoisting its words like chains.
"You don't need friends.
You have me."
Her throat tightened.
Her stomach twisted.
A cold shiver ran down her spine.
She could already see Sion's reaction if she said yes.
The crazed look.
The trembling voice.
The tears.
The accusations.
The yelling.
The emptiness.
The fear.
The love.
A love that tore her apart.
— Sorry, Aera… I can't. I'm with Sion.
Aera shrugged, still smiling, natural, light, innocent.
— It's okay! Then Friday?
And then…
That was when panic hit Nari like an icy wave.
A viscous panic that clung to her ribs.
That climbed up into her throat.
That burned behind her eyes.
She wanted to say yes.
She wanted to scream yes.
She wanted to cling to Aera like a last lifeline to normalcy.
But Sion's shadow slipped in behind her.
Invisible.
Crushing.
Suffocating.
So she shook her head.
Just a simple gesture.
But that gesture broke her.
— Not then either… I'm really sorry… I really can't…
Her voice shook.
Her eyes shone.
Something inside her tore.
Aera stared at her.
Surprised.
Hurt — a hurt she tried to hide behind a small, trembling smile.
— You don't like going out with me anymore?
The question hit Nari's heart like an arrow.
She lowered her head, fingers clenched around the dish towel so tightly it trembled.
— It's not that…
Last time was great.
It's just… Sion's alone, and I don't want to… abandon him.
The word abandon slipped between them like a confession.
Aera felt something pull tight in her own chest.
She laid her hand over Nari's, squeezing gently, with that spontaneous tenderness that had made her a sun.
— Listen to me, baby.
Look at me.
You have the right to live too.
Being glued together twenty-four seven, that's not love…
Her voice dropped.
— …that's a prison.
The word echoed deep in Nari's gut.
— It's toxic, Nari. Toxic. You hear me?
You're disappearing and I'm watching you die slowly and I can't do anything!
The words were so true, so sharp, so painfully accurate…
that they ripped something open inside her.
And the pain became too much.
Too raw.
Too exposed.
So Nari exploded.
A dry laugh, nervous, broken, that sounded more like a sob than a laugh.
She yanked her hand back in a sudden, harsh motion.
— I could really do without your advice right now!
Aera stepped back, stunned.
Her mouth fell open.
Her eyes filled with a mix of hurt and bewilderment.
— I'm saying this for your own good, Nari…
don't take it out on me…
Nari trembled.
Literally.
The glass in her hand almost slipped from her fingers.
Her chest was compressed, her breathing off the rails, her thoughts screaming, and to survive the suffocation rising inside her, she let slip the sentence she would regret for the rest of her life:
— Actually, we should stop seeing each other outside of work.
Let's just be coworkers.
It's better that way. For everyone.
Silence fell.
A heavy silence.
Purple.
Devastating.
Aera froze for a second…
her eyes glossy…
her throat tight.
At that precise moment, Nari felt something die in her chest.
Something precious.
Something rare.
Something fragile.
Something she might never get back.
She had just lost a friend.
Not because she didn't love her anymore.
But because she no longer had the right to love anyone other than him.
She turned away.
But she wasn't walking anymore.
She wasn't fleeing.
She was falling.
One step.
Then another.
Then her heart giving out.
Nari crossed the room without breathing, as if her lungs had forgotten how to work.
She bumped into a chair, muttered a voiceless apology, throat raw, and rushed toward the bathrooms, her heels hitting the floor like shards of glass.
She went in.
Slammed the door.
Turned the lock with trembling fingers.
And the moment solitude crashed down on her…
…everything blew apart.
She collapsed against the tiled wall—
cold, hard, merciless, like a tomb.
The impact knocked the air out of her.
She slid down the tiles, her legs folding under her, as if her body had given up all strength, all dignity, all resistance.
And she cried.
Not soft, silent tears.
No.
Tears that burned.
Tears that tore.
Tears that hurt.
She screamed — but no sound came out.
Her mouth was open wide, a voiceless scream strangled by a throat that was too tight.
Her sobs shook her like convulsions, her head pressed to her knees, her arms wrapped tightly around herself, as if she were trying to hold the pieces together to keep from shattering completely.
Her nails dug into her skin so hard that a thin red line ran down her arms.
She didn't even notice.
She was crying for everything.
Aera.
She had just murdered their friendship with her own hands.
Herself.
The version of her who laughed in Seoul, who danced under the snow, who wanted to live — gone.
Sion.
The love that was devouring her from the inside, warming her as much as it burned her.
She didn't even know what she was crying for the most.
So she cried for everything at once.
And behind the door…
Kai was there.
Standing.
Motionless.
Silent.
His fist clenched so tightly his knuckles were white, skin stretched to the point of tearing.
His gaze fixed on the wooden door as if he could punch through it, as if he wanted to rip it off its hinges.
He had heard everything.
Every word.
Every shattered breath.
Every strangled sob.
Every piece of soul hitting the tiled floor.
And something inside him…
something dark…
something dangerous…
…opened.
A dull rage.
A cold rage.
A murderous rage.
The handle turned.