Elara
Carlton High School stood like a giant block against the bright morning. Dad pulled into his special parking spot, smiling as he told me to have a good day. I walked up the main steps, but the big door opened before I could even reach for it.
Iris came out first, with Nadia right behind her. They came to my sides, linking their arms with mine, and we started down the hall as one unit.
"Jade phoned us,"Iris said, her bottom lip stuck out in a big pretend pout. "She is not coming. Who brought you?"
"My dad." They both made a soft, laughing sound. I bumpedIris with my elbow, but Nadia stepped away from me. Okay, maybe I have mentioned a few times that my dad gives long talks on the way to school. "It was not so terrible."
To be honest, the drive had been fine until a certain person decided to get in. Just thinking of him, and that short, teasing kiss, made my face grow hot. What if Sophia had seen us?
"Next time, call me,"Iris insisted. I made a face at her, and she pinched my cheek. "I will come and pick you up, all right?"
"Yes. Thank you."
These three might dare me to do the craziest things, but they are the best friends I could ever have. And I really needed to tell them about him.
"My stepbrother got here today," I said as we turned into a hallway filled with other students. "This morning."
We stopped at Nadia's locker so she could grab her books. She and I have first class together.Iris and I have choir later.Iris leaned on the next locker while Nadia looked inside.
"Is he good-looking?"Iris asked.
"Stop it," I mumbled. That was not the response I wanted. They looked at each other and their smiles got bigger. "Yeah, he is good-looking," Nadia observed. "Is he incredibly good-looking, or just regular good-looking?"
"I am walking away from both of you," I said, but my legs did not move.
Iris threw an arm over my shoulders. I looked at her toenails, painted a bright red, and let out a long sigh. "Yes. He is good-looking."
"Good-looking enough for a secret fling?"
"How old is he?" Nadia asked, always the more level-headed one in our little group of wild friends. I shrugged. "Well, is he good-looking enough for a secret fling?"
So much for her being the reasonable one. We started walking again toward my classroom. "I am not having a secret fling with my brother."
"Stepbrother,"Iris corrected.
"Exactly," Nadia added. "A stepbrother is totally fine. You are not related by blood. Think of it as two people who already know each other a little, just having a good time."
That was one way to put it. Two people who already knew each other a little.
"Let us talk about something else," I said. We stopped outside my classroom door.Iris pulled it open, and I gave her a look that said she was not getting another detail about him from me.
The room was not empty. Nadia and I took our normal seats in the back.Iris dropped into the chair in front of us. "Go away, Rosie."
The window shook in its frame, making all three of us look over. The wind died down, and the rattling stopped. I pulled my physics book from my bag.
"But you have not given us a real answer,"Iris said.
They were sure that because I have not had a proper boyfriend since my mother died, there must be something the matter with me. What a joke.
Why even date anyone when they are just going to leave or die in the end? They should be more like me. Kiss someone, sleep with someone, go to a bar and have a fun night. No promises. Because everything feels empty for a very long time after someone you love is gone.
"Yes, he is," I said, my voice going quiet. I turned a page in my textbook without reading a single line. "He is good-looking, and he deserves to be seen by everyone. But I am not having a secret fling with him. The discussion is over."
Iris's eyes became thin lines, and I could almost hear the thoughts moving in her head. She twisted a piece of her hair around her finger. "You should totally sleep with him. He might be even better than you think," she said. I always believed Jade was the most persistent in our group, butIris was just as bad. "You are not going to find anyone else in this town who is worth it."
Our town was small and too still. Pretty much everyone here knows everyone else, and we all know each other's private business. If a boy from this place could have pulled me out of this sad place, it would have happened already.
Iris pinched my arm, and I shook my head. Her idea was appealing, and I hated that it was. He made me feel something, even if it was just a fast, sharp flash of being alive.
"It would not be fair to my dad," I finally said. Making a sick face, I added, "Dad thinks of him as a son now."
Both of them nodded in understanding. "Yeah,"Iris said. "We will have to find you another boyfriend. Wait, there is always Jackson. You two have real chemistry, Elara."
The door opened, saving me from her next suggestion. Mrs. Preston, our physics teacher, walked in. I wavedIris away, and she stopped in the middle of the room to blow us a huge, dramatic kiss. The whole class laughed. Even Mrs. Preston.
Nadia tapped my arm when Mrs. Preston had her back to us. She was wearing her heavy glasses again. She pushed them up on her nose, and I saw her brown eyes, full of concern for me. "Are you all right?"
"Yes."
For the rest of the class, we did not speak. When the lunch bell rang,Iris found us. She was typing like crazy on her phone, and Nadia had to keep guiding her so she would not hit a wall. She finally looked up when we reached the cafeteria.
We got in line and picked up our trays. Nadia did not. She always brings her own lunch from home.
"Someone posted on our site this morning,"Iris said. "Wow. Her post is getting huge."
We run a website. Girls Code. All four of us. It was my idea, and Nadia made it.Iris and Jade shared the link everywhere online, and we got our first followers from that. Girls Code has been going ever since. It is a kind of gossip and help place for girls. They post all sorts of stories. Boyfriend problems. Family drama.
Iris handed us her phone to look at the post by Nikki Stan. My heart began to pound, and I held my breath. I watched both of them to see if they could tell it was me, since I am Nikki Stan's biggest fan in real life. Nadia was too busy reading the comments to notice me looking. I could not be the only one with a secret account to post things I am too shy to ask them about. Girls Code is my private manual.
She dropped the phone back intoIris's hand. "I do not know what I would do. Pretend it never happened, most likely. Or jump off a cliff or move out of the house," Nadia murmured.Iris snorted. The last two choices were more her style, not mine. I did not do anything bad except lie about my age. Girls do it here every single day. "What would you do if you found out the guy you kissed at a bar last night is now your stepbrother?"
That was the question I had posted. But I changed a few things about the night so they would never know it was me. I looked atIris's screen. More users were commenting, and most of them had terrible ideas like: 'Go and kiss him again.'
Why the fuck would I do that?
But I could not say the thought was a bad one.
"I think Krystal is right. It is what I would probably do,"Iris said. She showed us Krystal's comment. The only smart one so far. 'You should talk to him about it to make things normal, then just let it go.'
Talking about it did not sound like a horrible idea. I tried to picture a scene where we discussed that night, but in my mind, he always turned and left me.
He did not seem very pleased to learn my real age.
The line moved, and it was our turn.Iris was still talking about the post when we sat down. I was desperate to change the topic, so I started talking about the national open singing contest that starts next month.
"We are going to win it this year,"Iris announced. She held a fist over her heart. "I can feel it."
Iris and I are both in the school choir. Nadia has a nice talking voice, but her singing is terrible. She sounds like a sick cat being pulled down a dirty lane. And that is me being kind.
I was not as eager as I was last year about the contest. But I did not let it show. "Yes. We will win," I said, more for myself. "We have to."
A warning bell rang for the next class, and the three of us headed out. When the last bell finally rang, I was ready to see the face of Mr. Prescott, our music teacher and choir leader.
Nadia did not wait for us.Iris and I walked into the music hall, where students were already gathering on the stage, grouped by their singing parts. We were a bit late, maybe more than a bit, but it was the first week of practice, so Mr. Prescott would not be too mad.
We pushed the door open and were met by a wave of lovely voices singing the start of a song I knew very well. A real smile came to my lips, and all my troubles seemed to fade away.
Music is my whole world. It is my entire life.
We walked the rest of the way and stopped behind Mr. Prescott. He looked strangely tall and skinny today. Why was he wearing a baseball cap? He lifted his conducting stick, and the voices grew quiet to a soft hum.Iris tapped my arm hard. She pointed at our music teacher. I saw it, too. He was dressed all wrong for his normal dull style.
The singing stopped, and Mr. Prescott turned around to face us.
Oh, shit.
It was not Mr. Prescott. It was him. Oh my god. What the fuck is he doing here?