19. I will not forget you (2)
"The thought of why you don't wish for anything. When you love, you come to wish for things."
Whether it's big or small. Dalton added his words, stroking my disheveled hair.
Although there was no specific explanation, I could tell at once who his words were aimed at. Arwin. Recalling him who feels no inspiration in anything, I answered.
"Because I don't want to be disappointed."
The reason I didn't wish for anything from Arwin was that I didn't want to be disappointed. As the things I wish for increase, the sense of disappointment when they don't come true as wished will grow.
I didn't want to be disappointed due to vain expectations. In short, it was like a defense mechanism.
"I have a set end. Thanks to the set end, whatever I wish for will eventually become a sad ending. So it's right not to wish for anything in the first place."
Also, I had already achieved everything I had wished from him.
I conversed with him, with whom I hadn't even exchanged a word, and even spent several nights with him. Maybe it wasn't that I didn't wish for anything from him at all.
Dalton, unaware of such thoughts of mine, lowered his hand that was stroking my hair and patted my cheek lightly.
"You're rational."
I grabbed Dalton's hand on my cheek and spoke honestly.
"But these days, I think I keep wishing."
"...."
"That Arwin would think of me a little more. That he would remember me forever."
Dalton looked at me silently with a deepened gaze. His odd eyes shining even in the dark surroundings did not leave me.
"Don't you wish for such things from me?"
Well. It was a good thing for someone to remember me in a world where I disappeared. Very clearly.
But I didn't want to force it on him. Because we were still not in an intimate relationship. We were definitely not in a relationship where we wish for each other to remember.
"I don't wish for it. But I think it would be a good thing if you remember me for a long time."
Dalton kissed my forehead. The spot where his lips brushed past was hot.
"I will not forget you."
He spoke in a sweet voice that seemed capable of seducing anyone. It wasn't just words said casually. Not only Arwin, but Dalton also remembered the words I said.
'I will not forget you.'
Arwin had clearly said so too. Same words, same meaning, but the resonance brought by those words was completely different.
The impressions felt from the two men are stark. From Dalton, I didn't feel the ecstatic imagery I felt from Arwin. Only, a small question arose.
Is what you want to remember my appearance like Arabel's shadow? Or my real appearance?
"...."
I didn't take my eyes off Dalton.
Who do you see me as?
Dalton smiled broadly and brought his face close to mine. He whispered quietly at a distance where our lips could almost touch.
"She is a woman who liked Arwin for a long time."
It was an out-of-the-blue remark, but I could know who he aimed this remark at this time too. It must be about the woman with silver hair I was curious about.
A woman who likes Arwin.
Her identity wasn't surprisingly shocking. Because Arwin was on the popular side. The fact that I was the only woman liking him was rather stranger.
I thought the problem was Arwin's heart. A worry arises whether that woman's feelings are mutual, not one-way.
"What about Arwin's heart?"
"You said you didn't wish for anything."
He smiled a playful smile. A smile saying he knows everything but won't tell.
I pulled my head back and spoke. Perhaps a complaining sound flowed out.
"I'll go back to my room."
Not just words, but to show I was serious, I tried to get up. Then Dalton quickly grabbed my shoulder and pressed it down firmly. Even if an action is fast, it couldn't be that fast.
"What? That's cheap."
It was cheap, but it couldn't be helped. Because even by acting cheap, I wanted to know Arwin's true heart.
I urged Dalton.
"So what about Arwin's heart?"
"Hmm. First, lie down again."
I lay down again and waited for Dalton's answer. He smiled a sly smile while pressing my shoulder firmly so I couldn't run away again.
"If you wish for one thing from me, you should grant one wish of mine too."
"Is there something you want from me?"
"Will you grant it?"
"If it's something I can grant."
Dalton kissed me as if he had no intention of continuing the conversation. Our lips touched immediately. This time, he didn't stop at a light kiss but gave a deep, dense kiss.
Dalton explored my lips somewhat ferociously. I let him be so he could kiss to his heart's content. If his mood improves due to the kiss, he might tell me Arwin's heart right away.
Before long, his lips fell away, but our faces were still close. The kiss ended, but Dalton was still breathing out hot breath. Dalton's heated breath tapped quietly on my cheek.
Our eyes met. My image was fully reflected in his gold and silver eyes.
My heart made a strangely calm sound. It was a distinctly different feeling from when my eyes met Arwin's.
"Dalton."
"Yeah."
"Was a kiss what you wished for?"
Dalton gave an answer unrelated to my question. It was a short and concise answer.
"That guy's heart is what you guess it is. Iphoe Bell."
"...."
"Because his heart is broken."
Arwin, whose heart is broken, doesn't love her.
He who lost one screw in his heart might not be able to love anyone. I concluded like that. A smile lingered on my lips.
Arwin who cannot love anyone. Dalton who loves only one woman who died. Me who has a person I love but will die soon. The Marquis's residence where we are gathered.
It was a harsh fate.
"Satisfied?"
"Immensely."
"Then shall we sleep now?"
"Yes."
Since I heard what I wanted to hear, I felt I could sleep comfortably. Dalton hugged me tight.
"Iphoe, I smell my scent from you."
"I washed for a long time with the soap you bought."
"Satisfied?"
He threw the same question again, and my answer was the same.
"Immensely."
Dalton giggled and kissed my forehead for the last time. That was the end of the conversation that night.
"Someone is here."
At the cheerful knocking sound, I stopped combing my disheveled hair. Who is it visiting Dalton from early morning?
Dalton, who was lying on the bed even though the sun had risen, was indifferent.
"Maybe a maid?"
"Well."
Having answered like that, I pondered where I should hide. Because I didn't want to invite a misunderstanding that wasn't quite a misunderstanding.
While I was pondering, Dalton spoke rash words.
"Come in!"
"Dalton!"
I called his name shouting in surprise, but it was already too late. The door slid open and a familiar woman entered the room.
The identity of the woman was Katie, who was always startled by my tears. Katie greeted Dalton, then discovered me belatedly.
She looked at me with her eyes wide open.
"Iphoe Bell?"
"Kukuku."
Dalton made a wicked laughing sound. It was a bit annoying.
"...I'll leave first."
I passed Katie and left his room. Not long after, Katie chased after me. Katie quickly caught up to me, who was walking ahead, and spoke to me.
"Bell! What on earth is this. You... surely with the Archmage...."
I asserted.
"Katie. It's not the relationship you think."
"My goodness. Even lying."
Katie seemed to have no intention of believing my words. She stared at me askance with eyes that intuited everything.
"I said no."
I explained to Katie for a very long time that we were nothing, but my explanation didn't work at all.
She seemed to have already confirmed the relationship between Dalton and me. Should I say a secret relationship between an Archmage and a maid.
The direction of the misunderstanding was very incorrect. I let out a sigh deep with worry.
"Phew."
Even while organizing the tea imported from the West, Katie constantly doubted the relationship between Dalton and me. My answer was consistent.
"I said no."
Katie grumbled and changed the subject.
"My goodness. More than that, did you hear that rumor?"
"What rumor?"
I asked, stopping organizing the tea. Then Katie answered in an excited voice.
"The rumor that Marquis Arwin is getting engaged!"
"What?"
"The Princess has been visiting frequently lately."
"Princess...."
I could know immediately who that Princess was. That woman with silver hair who was beautiful like a doll made of sugar. It must be that woman without a doubt.
Engagement, marriage, and Arwin who seemed distant from love getting engaged. I couldn't quite believe that fact.
It's too sudden.
Even though I was nothing to Arwin, I couldn't accept Arwin's engagement even on the surface. Of course, my heart couldn't accept it even more. Never.
Arwin, who said his heart was broken, with what heart did he decide to engage her? A cold tear fell from my eye.
"Be-Bell? Are you crying again because the wind got cold? Should I close the window?"
I shook my head. Because the tears flowing now weren't shed because the wind got cold and time passed.
They were tears shed because I properly felt that my wish for Arwin was too hopeless.
"I'll take the tea to be served to the Marquis."
My voice spat out trembled faintly. Katie, surprised by my tears, only nodded her head.
I barely stopped my tears and headed to Arwin's office. Although the crying stopped, the tip of my nose still stung.
With a knock, I entered Arwin's office. Arwin was sitting in front of the desk as always, writing something with a serious face.
Although there was a presence, he didn't lift his head. It was an appearance not minding my visit. I placed the freshly brewed tea on his desk and called him.
"Marquis."
Only then did he lift his bowed head and look up at me.
"Are you getting engaged?"
Even at my unhesitating question, there was no agitation on Arwin's face. It's just like calm water surface. Arwin swept back his hair flowing down his forehead a few times instead of answering.
Even in such a situation, a wish arose to place my hand on Arwin's hair that was swept back softly. I clenched my fist tight, hoping the vain wish would subside.
"Yeah."
He retorted without emotion. I asked him, filling my voice with emotion.
"Do you love her?"
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