I walked along the forest path, my black hair catching the sunlight and my long, white-haired attendant, Yue, gliding beside me like a fragile moonbeam of anxiety.
The forest soon opened to a small village. Smoke curled lazily from chimneys. Children laughed, dogs barked, and merchants shouted over the clatter of carts.
Perfectly boring. Exactly what I needed.
I stepped into the village square, and immediately, people froze. Not in fear. Not in awe. Just… instinctive, mortal hesitation.
A young man dropped his basket of vegetables. "Wh-who are you?" he stammered, eyes widening at my presence.
I tilted my head, looking at him with what mortals might call intensity.
"I am Lin Xuan," I said, casually brushing invisible dust from my sleeve. "You may stare. It's fine. I am used to it."
The man's jaw dropped. A woman nearby fainted dramatically. A child tripped over his own feet.
Yue groaned beside me. "Master! Please! You're scaring them already! Stop being perfect! Just… act human!"
I looked down at the child. "Hmm. Human emotions… curiosity. Fear. Surprise. Not bad."
The child whimpered and ran to hide behind his mother.
"Good," I murmured. "Step one: observe. Step two: blend in. Step three: feel human life."
A merchant, clearly shaken, pointed at me. "You… you're the new… village guardian?"
I blinked. "Guardian? No. I'm… visiting. Learning. Trying out boring life."
The villagers looked at one another. Nodded. Whispered. Mostly confused.
Yue tugged at my sleeve. "Master… you look like a god! They don't understand your words. You have to… lower your aura. Pretend to be… mortal."
I sighed. A deep, dramatic sigh that carried the weight of eternity and accidentally sent the village well flying into the next field.
"Oops," I muttered.
Yue groaned so hard I thought her head might spin. "MASTER!"
"Ah," I said thoughtfully. "Maybe humans are harder to deal with than I imagined."
A young girl peeked from behind a wooden cart, eyes wide and sparkling. "Are… are you a god?" she asked timidly.
I stared at her. "I was an Immortal God," I said. "Now… I'm… practicing being mortal."
The girl tilted her head. "Practicing mortal…? Are you pretending to be boring?"
I considered this carefully. "Yes. Exactly that. Very observant."
She giggled, clearly unafraid. For the first time in centuries, I felt… a flicker of something. Curiosity. Amusement. Something.
Yue whispered, "Master… maybe humans aren't completely useless after all…"
I smiled faintly. "Finally. Step one of boredom therapy: interaction with mortals. So far… not unpleasant."
Determined to "blend in," I decided to try a small, simple human task: helping a merchant carry a basket of apples.
The basket was… surprisingly light. Or at least, it should have been.
I lifted it effortlessly with one hand. The basket's bottom broke instantly, sending apples flying in all directions.
"MASTER!" Yue screamed, crimson eyes practically spinning in disbelief. "You're destroying everything!"
The villagers scattered, screams echoing through the square. A dog barked furiously, while a child cried and hid under a cart.
I scratched my head. "Hmm. Maybe I need more practice."
"Practice?" Yue groaned. "MASTER! That was apples! Not continents!"
Ignoring her, I carefully collected the apples using one hand. Then, just to be considerate, I used a single finger to rearrange all the fallen baskets and crates back in perfect order. The villagers stared, completely frozen in awe.
"Very… very mortal of you," one man muttered, trying to sound casual but failing miserably.
I nodded approvingly. "Yes. Very mundane. Almost boring."
Next, I wandered toward the village fountain, watching the villagers go about their mundane lives. Children splashed water. A young woman drew water while humming. Elderly men debated loudly over absolutely nothing.
Yue whispered, "Master… try not to stand out. Please."
I leaned against the fountain, casually tossing a pebble. The pebble disintegrated midair from my residual power, missing the water entirely. Yue winced.
"I… feel something," I murmured. "Not strong, not overwhelming… but it's something. Interest? Curiosity? Possibly amusement?"
"Or terror," Yue muttered.
A farmer approached me cautiously. "You… you're new here, right? Will you… help us? Maybe train our militia… or guard the village?"
I considered it for a moment. Guard the village? Protect mortals? Use my godly power to… babysit humans?
"Hmm," I said. "Possibly. But first… I want to feel… boring life."
The farmer blinked. "B-boring life?"
"Yes," I replied, faintly smiling. "I'm practicing being mortal. Experiencing life… in the dullest, most ordinary way possible."
Yue pinched the bridge of her nose. "Master… do you realize how impossible that is? You're a god!"
I shrugged. "That's why it's a challenge."
The villagers exchanged uneasy glances. Some whispered about me being a wandering sage. Others suspected witchcraft. A few ran away entirely.
I smiled inwardly. Perfect. Just the kind of chaos that makes human life interesting… for me, at least.
As I walked past the fountain, a small girl tugged at my sleeve. "Sir… can you show me a trick?"
I looked down at her. For the first time in centuries, I felt… a small twinge of amusement.
"Light" I said, holding out a finger. A faint golden light appeared, swirling gently in a tiny orb.
Her eyes widened. "Wow! How did you do that?"
I smiled faintly. Amusement. Curiosity. Interest. Possibly the first real emotion I've felt in… eternity.
Yue sighed, exasperated. "Master… are you enjoying yourself?!"
"Maybe," I said casually, pocketing the orb. "But remember… I'm still practicing boredom. This is… training."
And with that, I walked deeper into the village, leaving a trail of minor chaos, astonished villagers, and flickers of human emotion behind me.
Finally, perhaps, boredom and immortality might meet somewhere in the middle though I suspected it would take a while.