Long Yue, 1 month old
By the time Long Yue hit the one-month mark, he had unlocked three things:
1. The power to control adults with strategic crying.
2. The ability to wiggle his legs like an angry shrimp.
3. The confidence of a CEO trapped inside a baby burrito.
But there was still one major problem:
No one understood him.
Every time he tried to communicate something logical, adults translated it into something… else.
---
Morning: Attempt at Communication #1
Objective: "Turn off the bright ceiling light."
It was way too bright.
Long Yue wanted the warm yellow lamp instead.
He pointed (or tried to) at the switch.
His finger flopped.
His hand shook.
He produced the most serious command he could:
"Goo…gugh…"
(Translation: "Turn that light off. It hurts my eyes.")
Mother gasped.
"He's pointing! He wants to watch TV!"
Father nodded with absolute confidence.
"Of course! He's curious about the world."
Long Yue:
"NO???? I WANT THE LIGHT OFF!!"
But they placed him on a tiny pillow throne, turned on the TV, and played a random kids' cartoon-show.
A dancing bear filled the screen.
The theme song blasted.
"LA LA LA! SHAKE YOUR BUTT!"
Long Yue stared.
"…I hate it here."
The system dinged:
[New passive acquired: 'Misinterpretation Aura (Level 1)']
Effect: 99.7% chance adults will misunderstand everything you do.
"…Why is this a SKILL?!"
---
Afternoon: Attempt at Communication #2
Objective: "I want the soft blanket, not the itchy one."
Long Yue pushed the itchy blanket away.
He pointed at the softer one.
"Gaa! Mmm!"
(Translation: "Give me the soft one or perish.")
Grandma's eyes widened.
"He wants to go outside! He's stretching toward the door!"
Grandpa slapped his knee.
"Let's take him for a walk!"
Long Yue:
"…Excuse me WHAT?!"
Five minutes later, he was outside.
In a stroller.
Wearing baby sunglasses.
Looking like a tiny mafia boss.
The itchy blanket still on him.
He wanted to cry, but held back.
"No. Crying only encourages them."
The system:
[Incorrect. Crying gets you everything.]
"…You're not helping."
---
Evening: Attempt at Communication #3 (Critical Failure)
Objective: "I WANT THE TV REMOTE."
Long Yue had discovered a great truth:
**The remote…
controls everything.**
He wanted it.
Not to watch cartoons.
Not to change channels.
But because he was bored and the remote had BUTTONS.
Buttons were entertainment devices.
He pointed at it.
He stared intensely.
He made his request:
"Gooo…goo!"
(Translation: "Give me the remote, peasant.")
Father interpreted it masterfully.
"He wants… MILK!"
Mother nodded.
"Yes! He's clearly hungry!"
Long Yue's soul left his body.
"No. I want power. The power of technology."
But he was picked up and fed milk he did NOT ask for.
While the remote sat across the room, laughing at him silently.
---
Night: Victory Through Chaos
In the middle of the night, Long Yue woke up thirsty.
He scanned the room.
Parents sleeping.
Lights dim.
Remote… on the bed.
His goal resurfaced:
Acquire the Remote
(Reward: Satisfaction + Button Pressing Addiction)
He stretched his hand.
It didn't reach.
He wriggled.
He rotated.
He kicked.
And finally—
He rolled.
Off the pillow.
Onto the mattress.
Closer… closer…
His tiny hand tapped the remote.
CLICK.
The TV flashed on at full volume.
"LA LA LA! SHAKE YOUR BUTT!"
Both parents jumped up screaming.
Mother: "WHO TURNED ON THE TV?!"
Father: "GHOSTS?? WE HAVE GHOSTS??!!"
And there was Long Yue…
Lying proudly next to the remote.
Expression blank.
But internally:
"Victory is mine."
DING!
[Skill Upgraded: 'Motor Skills' → Level 2]
You can now roll strategically.
[New skill unlocked: Chaos Baby Aura]
Effect: Your actions accidentally cause confusion 3× more often.
Long Yue smirked internally.
"Step one: control the household.
Step two: conquer the world."
For now, though…
He just pressed the mute button.
---