Hey… Ruby?"
Oscar hadn't meant to call much attention to himself when the others got back. He didn't point out his recent haircut; he didn't ask them how their meal went. He focused entirely on the immediate.
"Have you decided what you're going to do with the relic?" Oscar wondered.
Ruby had been in the process of piling new clothes -including a new red hood to replace her torn and tattered old one- when she turned to address him. Oscar noted: she'd gotten a haircut too. Shorter suited her… he dd his best not to point out how cute he found the sight. The last time he'd talked to a girl for five minutes he'd inadvertently blasted her with magic and he wanted to avoid that, if at all possible. He tried to keep his words short and to the point.
"Well, Ironwood seems to trust me hanging onto it… if he thinks all the questions are used up, he doesn't really have much reason to come snatch it from us, does he?" Ruby pointed out.
An uncomfortable reminder. He'd never suspected Ruby of lying… the thought of someone so honest -and so blunt- threw him off so completely he wasn't entirely sure that Ruby had ever told the truth now. Maybe she was so practiced a liar that no one saw through her facade.
He'd never considered it before they arrived in Atlas. He'd never had a reason to ask Yang if she knew any differently… and now had no real means to correct that. He either had to believe what she said or continue to flounder in his doubts.
"Okay," Oscar nodded. "Should we just… leave it here, in the dorm?"
He hadn't known exactly what Ozpin meant to do when they moved the lamp to Atlas. His first thought was that it'd be for someone else to decide. But Ironwood had simply given it back rather than lock it behind his many different layers of defense or placed it underground in the vault with the other relic at hand. Even if they continued to claim that all of Jinn's questions had been exhausted, would Salem -or her followers- know better? And even if they didn't, Salem was still immortal: she had all the time in the world to be patient.
"Actually, I was gonna say one of us should keep it instead," Ruby replied, hoisting up the lamp from beside her bed. "Probably shouldn't keep running around with an ancient relic on a keychain, y'know?."
She offered it to him. Oscar wasn't sure what the correct response to that was…
When Ozpin extended Oscar's hand and requested the lamp from her after the train crash, Ruby had recoiled. She'd stopped trusting him then, and had known that Ozpin was still at least capable of speaking to Oscar after his attempt to land their airship.
He briefly considered asking Ruby if she trusted him with it. "But-"
"I know you'll keep it safe in Atlas," Ruby told him, offering a reassuring smile.
A smile Oscar couldn't refuse.
Oscar quickly thought better of revealing any doubt to her. He accepted the lamp from her hand and looked down at the cool blue beneath the golden frame.
Ruby nodded before turning her attention back to her new attire. Oscar wasn't sure exactly how to extricate himself from the situation there… she'd just sort of stopped talking to him, so he wasn't even sure if he was supposed to bid her farewell.
He didn't want to reveal his doubt. He didn't want to do anything that would alter that smile she'd shown him.
But doubt did creep in. "Ruby… hiding things from Ironwood… doesn't that feel like what Ozpin did to us…?"
She didn't have to answer. He just wanted to know if it affected her at all.
Ruby's back was still to him; she was going once more through her pile of clothes. She seemed pretty content doing so; Oscar opted not to butt into the matter further.
Guarding the lamp… and waiting for everyone to get back from missions that he no longer went on.
Well, he was still serving a useful purpose, he supposed. And depending on how long they stayed in Atlas, maybe he wouldn't spend all his time in the dorm.
Ruby's new attire was more modest. Her new stockings weren't torn like her current pair were…
Oscar cursed himself for noticing that. She'd entrusted him with something important and barely half a minute later he'd already turned his attention to-
But then, maybe Ruby didn't consider guarding the lamp to be important any longer, now that General Ironwood had no reason to believe it would be of use to him. Maybe she'd simply saddled Oscar with busywork.
Before today he'd never failed to think better of her. Even when she'd turned away after Jinn's revelation, he'd at least understood why she was unwilling to support him. He hadn't even trusted himself then.
Now…
Oscar told himself that there was time to figure her out. She wouldn't always be going away on missions, and he wouldn't always be stuck in the dorm. There'd be a time for… friendship. That was what Oz had always suggested he strive for, rather than let himself be bogged down by less pure thoughts.
She wasn't perfect. She wasn't naive. That was fine. That surprised him, but it just meant he was starting to know her better. He could still like her, even if she was flawed.
The thought of Ruby turning away from him and going along with her uncle played through his mind. Seeing Yang lash out at him and demanding he bring Ozpin back out to face her wrath followed after it.
He liked everyone better when he only knew them at the surface level. The deeper he delved, the more he wondered how much he wanted to find.
Oscar reminded himself that they'd all put up with him too. Despite his flaws, they'd all kept him rather than cast him out at Argus. They'd cared enough to look when they thought he was gone.
He reminded himself to dwell on the positive. He reminded himself this was the life he'd chased after, rather than remain in safety and relative peace. Ozpin had still taken the time to convince him rather than forced his hand.
The others weren't simply kind to keep him around. When they'd thought Ozpin had left him, Oscar hadn't had that much to offer. He shouldn't have thought that their generosity was feigned. Telling one lie was not the same as concocting them every time someone spoke.
But then, Yang and himself -and possibly Blake- all told lies now too. They all pretended something that had happened… hadn't, because that was easier than telling Ruby, or Weiss, or Nora about what happened behind closed doors. Because they'd all decided it was better for them to not know.
Was that how Ruby justified it?
Was that how Ozpin justified it?
Oscar reminded himself again to dwell on the positive. The relic was secure, they were still together in some loose sense… he wasn't quite as sure of his destiny as he'd been when he left Mistral, but he wasn't alone either.
Just… apart. Just waiting in the dorm for his friends to come back.
They had time to figure things out. They could hang out and talk again, as they had in the house at Mistral. There were still things he wanted to know about all the others, even if at times he dreaded learning the answers.
Another time. That was all he needed to feel like he was back on track.
"This is Alpha Squad," Clover reported over the commlink. "LZ's clear: proceeding on foot."
He and Qrow had landed and moved ahead. Blake was still in the process of regrouping with her team, going over their Aura levels on her new Atlesian Scroll.
"Keep your eyes and ears open," Clover instructed over comms. "I want an update if you encounter the target. Alpha out."
Once he'd cleared the line, however, Blake still heard something drawing her attention away from her focus on the mission. Her free cat ear tilted up to the source of the sound… the rapid movement of several long locks of hair flailing about. So... her partner was nearby.
"Huh?" Blake inquired, glancing around, eventually spotting Yang… who seemed to be very determinedly avoiding her gaze after snapping her head back.
Had she been… staring?
Yang sort of awkwardly waved once she realized Blake was still glancing her way. "Uh, sorry. Just… not used… to the new hair… yet."
Blake reached back to the shorter cut, self-consciously moving it back, trying to make the bob a bit… wavier, as it had been before. "Is it... bad?"
She'd gotten it cut specifically because the prior night Yang hadn't seemed as drawn to her…
"No, no, it's good!" Yang frantically assured her. "Great, even!"
Blake smiled at Yang turning flustered by her remark. So she did still care…
She also heard, however, the grumblings of their Ace Operative teammates nearby. "Man, I did not sign up to be a babysitter…"
Ruby and Weiss finally rejoined them, Blake politely overlooking the comments of their allies. Ruby was shivering, squeezing her elbows close to her chest. "Oh, it's freezing out here…"
"Without heating or projected Aura, the cold of Solitas can kill you in a matter of hours," Weiss helpfully explained.
"I suddenly don't feel as bad about leaving Oscar behind," Blake observed.
She regretted the words the moment they'd left her mouth. She heard Yang audibly sigh… sigh so loud Blake wouldn't be the only one to hear it. "Can we talk about that again…?"
Blake hadn't meant to rub salt in that wound. She'd only tried making conversation with Ruby and Weiss…
"What about it?" Ruby asked.
"We're really not gonna tell Ironwood about what happened to Oz?" Yang inquired. "What we learned about Jinn? About Salem?"
"We are," Ruby tried to reassure her sister, but couldn't help the sigh that left her. "We will. But you saw how things looked when we flew into Atlas."
Blake concurred. She knew that not everyone was as trustworthy as they first seemed… she knew that better than most. "The General's heart seems to be in the right place, but that doesn't mean we should trust him yet."
"We need to play along before we make any major decisions," Weiss agreed.
Yang hesitated. It came as no surprise to Blake that she'd be the one most opposed to carrying out a deception.
...was it wrong of Blake to openly contradict her? Yang wasn't naive, just direct. Yang wouldn't want Blake to lie on her behalf, surely…
"Okay," Yang finally agreed, however muted. "How did Oscar feel about that?"
Blake was surprised to hear her mention his name. She'd have thought Yang would be in a hurry to put him out of her mind.
Maybe she was only wondering how Ruby's conversation with Oscar had gone…
Blake tried not to be bothered by it. On occasion, people would bring up Oscar. And Ruby and Weiss would probably be more surprised if Yang didn't talk about him at some point. They'd been under the impression Yang was particularly fond of him… at least before the Argus Limited.
Blake was the only one to know better. That didn't necessarily mean there was any reason to be bothered by it.
But she was. Much as she'd prefer not to be, she felt uncomfortable hearing Yang show concern for her… for their friend.
It can't have been easy for her to be around him. That she still cared for his well being spoke well of Yang's character.
That Blake wanted her to not care… or at least, to not express any concern for him…
She felt a slight twist in her stomach. She and Yang hadn't declared themselves a couple. They'd kissed once and awkwardly broken apart before they could do anything more than that. She shouldn't have been so possessive.
Something they could talk about away from Weiss and Ruby's ears, perhaps. Just to see if Yang had pulled away because she'd still felt-
Another twist. This time, because Blake was certain that was the reason.
"...you might want to brush up on council law before you lose this upcoming election, Jacques," Ironwood curtly suggested. "Now, I've allowed you to land here once as a courtesy. The next time, it won't be a friendly reception."
"Lately, it seems you forget who your friends really are," Jacques Schnee snarled back. "I'm going to get that council seat, James, and maybe then you'll-"
He paused. Blake couldn't help but overhear the conversation, but for the first time she turned her eye to the man who'd found something important enough to cut through all his saber-rattling. She followed his gaze… and quickly realized what he'd found, and who'd caught his attention.
"You… you roped my missing daughter into this scheme of yours' too?" Jacques indignantly demanded. "How long has she been back in Atlas? Did Winter know about this…?"
He'd turned his attention back to Ironwood. Apparently after he'd confirmed Weiss's presence he no longer needed to bother with the formality of paying her further heed. He was much more interested in brandishing Ironwood for playing with his toy.
Weiss could've easily ignored him. Some part of Blake hoped she would.
And knew she couldn't.
Weiss marched over to address him, even if she had to talk to his back. "It was my decision to come here; just like it was my decision to leave. Or have you forgotten all about that?"
"If you think I'm one to forget anything, girl, then you've misjudged the man your father is," Jacques contemptuously replied. He didn't hide his distaste, but still cloaked it with some rigid formality.
"Believe me, I know exactly what kind of man you are," Weiss dryly noted.
Jacques' veneer quickly broke at Weiss's display of defiance. "How dare you speak to me that way…? I have half a mind to-"
"Half a mind to what, Jacques?" Ironwood interjected.
Jacques quickly composed himself. He'd already let the mask slip, and couldn't continue to do so with such a powerful man in attendance. Jacques adjusted his cufflinks and moved the ruffles from the sleeves of his coat, once more donning his facade. "You know… your mother was devastated when you left: didn't leave her room for days. You know how she gets when she's upset."
Blake could only see Weiss's back. But she could hear discord in her suddenly elevated heart rate. She knew that the words had riled her, just as Jacques meant them to.
Blake had heard this same guilt trip before. The same slow, insidious breaking down…
She moved closer to Weiss's side.
Jacques, however, had finished his spiel. It seemed making Weiss feel bad had given him whatever satisfaction he needed in receipt for her defiance. Instead he turned his attention back to Ironwood, returning easily to the business at hand… making it abundantly clear how forced his concern for his wife had been. "I knew one day you'd overextend your reach. I didn't come here to beg for an abandoned mine; I came here to thank you… for personally handing me the noose to hang you."
Blake reached over to take hold of Weiss's hand; to offer her reassurance, to steady her when she was stung by doubt. She knew all too well how hard it was to feel strong when a man you had not always hated tore into you… when love was weaponized as Jacques had mastered.
Jacques turned his eye back to Weiss, noting Blake holding his daughter's hand. No doubt the sight of a Faunus showing her such affection and support would only make him angrier.
So much the better.
"So, these are the little friends you threw everything away for…?" Jacques mused.
Weiss shook her head. "Not friends: family."
The word must've offended Jacques' sensibilities even further. But he didn't press the matter. Weiss hadn't been cowed into submission, but he had made his speech to Ironwood. He'd succeeded in the matter he'd really cared about. He'd be content with the victory he'd achieved.
Leaving Weiss to be reassured, comforted by her friends, reminded that not all love for her was attached by condition.
And for Blake, perhaps one fewer sleepless night recalling how words just like that forced her to fall in line, blinded by what she'd thought was love.
Penny walked by each of them, updating their Scrolls with a few entries on her datapad. Blake looked down, noting the words "student license" had been replaced with "Huntress license", and her new place of issue was Atlas rather than Vale. The changes seemed quite minute for how… significant they really were.
"I know this is coming a little ahead of schedule," Ironwood conceded. "But Brothers know you deserve it. I only regret I couldn't do something a little more ceremonious for the occasion."
The others shifted their attention to Ruby. She needed a moment to overcome her own awe before she could reply to the general. "I… we… we're honored, General Ironwood, but you really don't have to do th-"
"Please," Ironwood interjected. "With the threat of Salem still out there and tensions rising in our kingdom, I certainly could use more trustworthy fighters at my side."
Blake felt her ears fall flat against her head. Her friends exchanged looks, and every smile at their accomplishment vanished in an instant.
Ironwood, however, seemed oblivious. "It's okay; it's a big moment. And what better way than to celebrate here? When this tower is ready and communications are back up and running, we'll tell the world about Salem and face down whatever comes at us after that, together."
He was right… in theory. They'd retaken the Dust mine and repurposed previously written-off energy assets to help get Amity aloft, and -if his plan succeeded- they could indeed contact the rest of the world and play important parts in building alliances between kingdoms that had only grown more hostile since Beacon fell.
All because Ironwood trusted them with this secret plan… because he had no reason to doubt that they were worthy of his trust…
Blake understood caution. She understood better than most appearances could be deceiving.
But guilt… she'd really hoped to be working past that. She'd really rather not feel guilty for anything so recent as a day prior when she'd been complicit in a lie.
"...after everything we've been through, I almost forgot this is what I wanted in the first place," Yang mused.
"When Beacon fell, I didn't think this would even be possible," Blake admitted.
"It almost feels… trivial now," Weiss observed.
It should have been something to celebrate. Yet the means they'd used to reach this milestone… just left a bitter aftertaste in all their mouths.
"Geez, guys, lighten up a little," Qrow chimed in. "Enjoy yourselves for a change: you've earned it."
"Finally, someone said it!" Nora agreed. "Let's kill some cake, huh? Because I can eat two slices before Ren even eats one! Who says I can't? Who says it?!"
"Nora, nobody is arguing with you about this…" Ren patiently attempted to explain.
Seeing them did help soothe Blake's nerves. Cake… sounded nice. Yang even started getting into it, going around and taking pictures with her Scroll. Blake managed to smile in the photo without too much difficulty.
In time, maybe the lie would be forgotten. Maybe the guilt would melt away.
But in her experience… it hadn't. She still felt that same guilt when she took hold of Yang's prosthetic hand, and because Yang hadn't yet moved on from her… last relationship, she hadn't had a suitable means to… help herself forget.
Blake tried to be patient. They may have graduated -in some sense- but Blake didn't think they were suddenly going to branch off from their team. Weiss had made it abundantly clear already that they'd been adopted.
It was a small comfort. And Blake had learned those were the only comforts she could count on.
Oscar knew why he was restless. He'd had nothing to do all day, and after spending years of his life working the land from sunrise to sunset, staying in a dorm room re-reading a favorite book or going over his Scroll had left him with energy to spare and no readily available outlet for it.
He'd have gone crazy just as quickly back at the house in Mistral, had it not been for all the training he'd started up with his friends. The downside to that was that now he'd successfully unlocked his Aura and had even more energy he needed to work off, and… all he'd done was sit in his room, half-heartedly "guarding" an ancient and powerful relic that no one in Ironwood's retinue thought would be of any use to them.
He understood he wasn't on the same level as the others yet. He understood that he wouldn't be able to join them on every mission General Ironwood had in mind for them. Ironwood may have expected Ozpin to be a useful military asset, but the teenage boy housing him… had a ways to go yet.
He wondered if the others would ever have downtime too; if they'd stop by and say hello. More and more he wondered if Ruby had given him the assignment to avoid carrying the lamp on her person and to simply put Oscar out of sight and out of mind.
Being alone with his thoughts didn't seem to do him any better than having Ozpin whispering in his ear…
When Oscar finally heard footsteps in the hall, he nearly rushed out from his dorm room to greet… any of his friends upon their return. He hoped he didn't seem too childish in his mad dash for any sort of human connection.
He almost ran into her… fortunately, Oscar had gotten slightly better in ensuring he was the only victim of his own clumsiness, managing to stumble his way to her left rather than crash into her side. Weiss watched Oscar's… maneuvering and raised an eyebrow. "Hello."
"Hey, Weiss," Oscar greeted, trying as he could to play off his… enthusiasm, moving very quickly in conversation. "How was the mission?"
"Fine, fine," Weiss dismissively replied. "We got the Dust mine back from the Grimm. My father was less-than-thrilled that General Ironwood had repurposed all the crystals the SDC had already written off…"
Oscar had heard some things about Weiss's father… none of them particularly good. "I hope he took the time to thank you for making the effort."
"...clearly you've yet to meet my father," Weiss observed. "Fortunately for you, you're better off."
Weiss was always sort of stiff and formal, but around her friends she closed the distance and let her more empathic side come out. Now Oscar felt that distance return… that strange way politeness could be offputting.
"I'm sorry," Oscar quickly replied. "I didn't mean- that is, if you didn't want to talk about-"
"No, no, it's fine," Weiss interjected. "It's good that you would assume better, I suppose."
A long silence for a few moments. Oscar wondered whether he was meant to carry on the conversation or just quietly extricate himself from it…
But when Ruby just abruptly stopped talking to him in the morning, that had left him with nothing but confusion and doubt… doubts that still nagged him hours later. He could at least try to help Weiss with… well, he didn't know if it was something she wanted to talk about, but she had taken the time to bring it up when she easily could've omitted any mention of her family tie…
"I just meant… I know you weren't in any hurry to come home," Oscar continued. "But yesterday you were in a hurry to go over and hug your sister, so I know you missed… some of your family."
"Some," Weiss conceded. "Him… well, I wasn't planning on dropping by the house to say hello. I made it very clear to him that I had a new family now. He needed to be reminded that I didn't need whatever he had to offer me."
Oscar was starting to sense she didn't want to talk about this further… at least, not with him. No doubt when she was referring to family she meant Winter, Ruby and Yang -people he saw her rush over to hug.
And yet… she did want to talk about it with someone, but didn't want to call attention to herself. She didn't want to spoil the moods of anyone else by making them dwell on her family drama.
...was that Ozpin leaking information to him again? No, when he listened he heard only his and Weiss's breathing. Ozpin wasn't bothering with Oscar's attempts at… friendship.
He was the one with insight now. Because he-
"Ruby and the others all took you in," Oscar pointed out. "And you're grateful for that, but… maybe you sometimes wish the rest of your family would come around and you wouldn't have to put up all this distance."
Weiss turned her gaze to him, raising an eyebrow. "And what makes you say that…?"
"I've just… been there," Oscar replied, before quickly clarifying: "I mean, not there there, not exactly where you are, but… I've been adopted too. My aunt took me in after my parents died and I… I was grateful for it, I was glad I had someone there for me, but there were times I wished I still had a mom and dad too and things wouldn't always be just… just what they were.
"It's okay to feel bad about it sometimes," Oscar continued. "To wish things would work out and you could see them the way you used to and not just… well, not just think about now. You don't have to feel bad just because sometimes you miss the people who used to be part of your life."
Weiss was quiet for a while. Oscar wasn't sure if she was taking his words to heart or… or if perhaps he'd miscalculated and read things wrong. These girls were all so much harder to read than he'd first thought…
"I do miss the… simplicity of it all," Weiss conceded. "I do wish that things were different; but I know that it's something I've lost. It's something I have to live with."
"Well, yeah, but were you, though?" Oscar inquired. "Did you tell Ruby and Yang and everybody that?"
"No," Weiss admitted. "But clearly I should've. If you noticed it, they must've too…"
Oscar didn't think she meant it as an insult. Just… a reminder they knew Weiss much better than he did.
"Well, if you ever want to talk about it with someone who's not them, my room is… this one," he pointed back to his dorm. "Just… right there."
Weiss politely chuckled. "I'll keep that in mind."
She could've been much more disparaging if she'd wanted. Around her friends, she let loose an acid tongue. Oscar wasn't sure if Weiss sparing him its lash was a positive sign or not.
Fortunately, his muted silence offered a reward instead, as Weiss smiled and said: "Thanks, Oscar."
When Weiss smiled, the scar over her left eye seemed to just… vanish. It was just fair skin, cool blue, and sparkling white… beautiful like falling snow.
Oscar did his utmost to stay focused. "No problem."
Weiss headed back to RWBY's dorm. Oscar's eyes followed her for a moment, watching her leave… he had really liked the short skirt and heels she wore in Mistral and the many, many looks he'd been able to sneak at her legs… but this more ornate dress and puffed collar were certainly… flattering too.
Oscar slipped back into his own dorm rather than wait for her to notice his gaze trailing after her. He'd made some progress in improving her mood; he wouldn't want to undermine that by having Weiss find him… leering at her.
Back to the books for a while longer, back to his patient guard duty… knowing that at the end of the day, maybe he could let himself believe that someone sincerely appreciated the efforts he'd made.
Blake and Yang took one of the last transports back, accompanied only by an AK-200 to pilot their ship to Atlas. Ruby and Penny went along with Jaune, Ren, and Nora, and General Ironwood and his Ace Operatives went off to address some other important military matter, just leaving the kids to slowly break off from the party… evidently he'd trusted them pretty thoroughly if he left Amity ahead of them.
One more bit of guilt for them to digest. And without Ruby or Penny to overhear them…
Yang had been able to get into the party mindset better than the others, and Blake had mostly been able to go along with it. When Yang suggested they take a ship for themselves, with only a robot pilot facing away from them and uninterested in the activities of his passengers…
Yang started first, subtly shifting her body weight over towards Blake and leaning on her just a little. Blake initially took this as little more than a lean, and embraced all the body heat that had been offered to her.
Yang started with a gentle caress, working Blake's back, shoulder, forearm… Blake's new combat gear lacked as much exposed skin. Feeling Yang's hands through the fabric wasn't so bad a replacement. Feeling her touch still made the experience… memorable.
Blake fell back onto the metal ground, letting Yang work. When Yang's fingers moved away from Blake's wrist and found the zipper of her suit, Blake subtly nodded to her. She didn't care for the moving vehicle setting too much, but if it was the only privacy they could have tonight…
Yang's fingers trailed over the metal tag. Blake wrapped her hand around Yang's wrist, urging her to continue… and Yang very nearly did, watching the garment split right down the middle, trailing from Blake's neck… maybe if she didn't feel the scar beneath her fingers Yang wouldn't-
-no, her hand fell away again. Yang rolled off Blake and slid along the metal floor, sighing in exasperation.
Blake knew it was too soon. She knew it'd happen again…
Blake put her zipper back into place and took a moment to fix her hair before it was further matted by the metal floor, moving to a sitting position. She glanced over at Yang, who seemed to be quite determined to look anywhere but back to her.
"We don't… have to, you know," Blake tried to assure her. "We don't have to do anything like this. We don't have to rush. We're planning on being here for a long time and… and I'm willing to be patient."
"It's not like me," Yang quickly replied. "I'm… I'm not used to getting cold feet and that's all I've been doing." Yang forced herself to turn her head and look at Blake. "I want to do this. I want to… I want you and I to be able to do stuff like this, but I just feel…"
"Guilty?"
Blake tried to be the one to say it in Yang's place.
"...yes," Yang admitted. "I… I never actually told Oscar that I- I never really… ended things. I've been avoiding him these past few days and I… I think he knows what I want to tell him but I never actually told him any of it and just tried to move on… and every time I think I've been able to it just hits me at the worst possible time."
Blake didn't want to make the suggestion. Try as she might… she knew she'd have to. "You could talk to Oscar."
Yang shook her head. "...talking… was never really what we did. I mean, we didn't only- but we weren't ever good at talking and we didn't try to be. I know I've said before we didn't really know how we were handling things or where it was going and… and that was exciting sometimes, it was fun just to… not talk, and not think… but… I know that sometimes that's what I'm trying to do with you and that… that scares me."
Yang composed herself, trying to make her thoughts a little clearer. "What we had was fun for… all of a week, and then it was just… over, like that, and that's how my first ever relationship ended. Now I'm trying the same thing with you because… because that's all I know how to do, and I'm terrified that it'll go the same way, and I feel bad because I never told Oscar what I was supposed to…"
Blake listened patiently. She wanted to reach over and embrace Yang, and put her mind at ease… that if she pushed herself a little further, it would be possible to forget the guilt, or at least set it aside long enough to not be so hurt by its resurgence.
Blake hadn't known exactly when she became interested in Yang… but she did know when she became opposed to Yang and Oscar: before Ruby summoned Jinn from the lamp, before she knew there were any problems… communicating. She'd wanted their relationship to end from the moment she'd learned of its existence.
It was selfish: she realized that much. But she hadn't gone to any lengths to engineer their downfall. Ozpin's lies did that for her, and Blake and Yang were able to strengthen their bond right when they needed each other the most.
But guilt… Blake knew the feeling well and could absolve Yang of it. She could help Yang in extricating herself… faster.
"I could go with you," Blake suggested. "When you talk to him?"
"And tell him what?" Yang incredulously replied. "That I decided to hook up with a new girlfriend before I actually broke up with him? That I finally decided I knew how to talk to him after I stopped doing it with him?"
"And tell him all of this," Blake gently corrected her. "Everything you have to, even the stuff that's hurting you. Just… get it all out at once and let it end."
Yang averted her eyes again. Something else…?
She hadn't expected Yang to lack the strength to look at her.
"You… want it to be over, right?" Blake asked.
It was too soon. It was unfair to ask when Yang was already so torn. Her curiosity pushed it out at the expense of her patience.
But since she had asked… Blake did want to know.
"I don't know," Yang admitted. "I… I don't know, okay?! I know that I want to be with you and I know that Oscar isn't responsible for what Ozpin did in the past but now every time I think back on what I did with him I think Ozpin was there too and now I know Ozpin is still there and always will be and I know I don't want to be with him for something he can't control and I just… I hate that that's the reason I can't even tell him any of this. I thought I could just run from it, that if I pushed it away long enough that I'd… I'd be okay with moving on, but I'm not. I want to be with you but every time we touch and I think about how I feel I remember…" She was talking very fast then: "I remember that sometimes I feel that for him too, and that's not fair… and it… it is what it is."
Blake took the time to digest all that Yang had let out.
It hurt to think Yang still felt these things for Oscar. Blake knew that she did, but hearing it out loud made the feeling that much worse…
But Yang wanted to move on. She simply couldn't without… closure, without showing Oscar the compassion that was Yang's wont.
"Is that why you asked about him today?" Blake wondered. "You… you wanted to know how he was doing?"
"I… I wanted someone else to tell me," Yang admitted. "I wanted to know the rest of you were still his friends and still looking out for him and… and I don't know, if he's going through this crap like I am? I don't know -I told you that already- I just… I'm stuck with all this complicated stuff and I'm so tired of feeling this way. I have to do something but I can't even talk to him… and now it's affecting us and that's… that's not on you, but it keeps coming back and hitting you." Yang sighed, reaching both hands up to either side of her head. "I thought I was figuring things out, but they're even more messed up than when it was just him and me together. I don't know if what we had was… right or normal, but I felt like I had a clearer head. I felt like I had a clearer conscience."
Blake sat with her in silence for a long time, searching for the words to assuage her. Because Blake desperately wanted to tell Yang that she shouldn't feel guilty, that she could take solace in being the good person all her friends believed her to be.
But her gentle words wouldn't change the reality for Yang. They'd calm her, perhaps, but only for the night… only until she saw Oscar again and failed to speak to him.
Running from it only made the guilt loom larger. Blake had found her solution -her answer to her own doubt- by putting her trust in someone else to be strong on her behalf. Facing a problem didn't require overcoming it with only one's own strength, but in trusting someone else -even after placing trust had hurt you before- to help you in the fight.
"When we get back to the academy, I'm going to take you to his dorm," Blake began. "You have to work this out."
"Take him to… and say what?" Yang asked, incredulous.
"Nothing," Blake answered. "You told me you two weren't any good at talking."
Yang raised an eyebrow. "So what are you expecting us to-"
Blake reached down and clamped her right hand over Yang's left. Yang looked down, before retracing her gaze to Blake's amber eyes.
Blake tried to remain steadfast. She tried to keep herself focused on Yang.
The reason she was willing to… recollect some other form of guilt, to put her trust in someone to still remember their affection for her after they learned…
"There's something you need to hear," Blake continued.
A long breath.
"About Brunswick Farms… about Oscar… and me."