Chapter Fourteen: The Material
She had never wanted for purpose. She had not always held true to a single ideal, not always known for certain which road she wanted to walk… but she had never allowed herself to be idle. She made mistakes, she lost her way, but she never stopped moving.
Until he came into her life and offered her a place to rest; to stop and to settle. She didn't have to always obsess over strength and survival - she could allow time to slip away from her and not obsess over every second lost. She could have purpose, she could carry out a greater mission… and she could have the freedom to do nothing at all, if only temporarily.
She didn't trust such a thing. Pleasure, leisure… the tribe taught her these were rewards earned by fire and blood; bought with the fates of the conquered and ransacked. To have idle time was to be fresh from the pillage with a bounty to last, and only as long as the spoils could last. To try and reconcile that life with one where she didn't always need to fight to survive… the temptation won out, and she accepted the gracious offer. She followed the man with a dream.
To her and her brother, places at either of his hands or perched over his shoulder. His eyes, to replace some talents lost in his own mission… seeing him so consumed with his tasks made her wonder if perhaps it wouldn't be better to stop and rest after all. Perhaps it was possible to have a goal without pursuing it so relentlessly…
Raven once intended to gain his confidence, learn his secrets, and once she was perfectly poised… kill her would-be benefactor and pilfer all his knowledge for the Branwen tribe. But once she found her place perched beside him on his throne…
She had never known the allure of believing in something. She had never imagined that she could be seduced by an empty promise.
She knew all men lied. She knew that sometimes they were blessed with gifts that made their deception all the easier.
One man used his silver tongue to coax her into his service. Another used his smile to bend and contort her heart. And for a time, Raven believed she was happy to have them both in her life.
They were not the only ones she'd ever had, even before she came to Beacon. But they were the ones she remembered best. They were the ones who were outside her tribe… they were the outliers.
One of them married her, gave her a child. There was no way to forget that life. It may have been a gilded cage, but sometimes the memories of hearth and home, husband and child… sometimes one could miss something they feared to know.
The other…
He'd been barely older than she was when she went to Beacon, yet he was the Headmaster. She was expected to accept instruction from him? She was to respect someone younger than some of his own students?
Yet he was clever. He fought like a much more seasoned man. Raven couldn't help but respect strength and intellect. She couldn't help but be enticed by someone as intriguing as that.
Before Tai -before any of them- while she'd still been committed to her mission and saw a young man whom she might've used her wiles to ensnare…
Raven had never been naive. But he had persuaded her not to kill him. He'd made her believe in something more than the base and the material.
Not that it ever seemed to stop them. Not that they couldn't… forget those higher aspirations for a while.
Raven was still young then. She may have been better equipped than most, but she hadn't realized what Ozpin had in mind for her was only the base. They could not be anything more. He managed to make Raven believe that was for the best.
Only after she loved another did she understand she'd only ever been his proxy. And the rewards he'd offered her… just the same trinkets all men offered to appease their consorts.
She would never forget him. It was important for her to internalize the lesson.
It reminded her not to trust. It reminded her that no matter how grand a man's ambitions, no matter how great his wisdom… he quickly traded it away for the warmth and comfort of the material.
Raven did not dwell on whom he thought of when she warmed his bed. She didn't trouble herself with the question of whom -if anyone- Ozpin had ever really loved.
But Ozpin had meant for her to be his eye, once. And she could not help but look over his shoulder.
She didn't know all the details. She only knew that Ozpin had stopped trying to destroy Salem. He had resigned himself to cleaning up her messes and mitigating the damage she wrought.
Why would an immortal wizard -more powerful than anyone else in the world- stay his hand? Why would he not destroy the queen of the monsters whose only impetus was to destroy all life in the world?
Then Raven saw her for the first time and knew… that once, at some time… Salem had also been a woman. And Ozpin had known her far longer than anyone else.
And known her well.
Raven knew then there was no point in fighting for him. She didn't fight battles that couldn't be won.
Ozpin didn't want to win. He didn't want to destroy the only woman he ever loved.
Ozpin could have someone else to serve as his eye and someone else to warm his bed. The world had no shortage of fools.
She only no longer counted herself among them. She only realized that his lies were easier to believe than the truth of what he was.
She did not miss him. She knew she had been used.
But she could not forget. The bad… or the good.
Sometimes it was worse to know.
Oscar looked out over the wall, down to the garages and storage sheds outside the city. Yang had parked her motorcycle in one near the massive front gate… would she ever drop by to extract it? Would she think to crane her neck and look up, maybe wonder if anyone walked along the top of this defensive structure?
He pushed the thought aside, reminding himself that he was unlikely to see Yang again after this. He wasn't entirely sure he'd be alive after this.
But she had promised him answers. For whatever her word was worth…
Raven was seated on a partition near the signal tower, holding up her right leg with one arm, pressing it to her midsection. With her free right hand, she patted a patch of stone beside her, bidding Oscar to sit.
He knew there was little point in refusing her. If she had wanted him dead…
Oscar sat down at her right, looking back at the city, and the sun setting over the water.
"I wanted to talk," Raven explained. "About Ozpin and about us."
"I figured he'd be the reason," Oscar nodded.
"He always is," Raven confirmed. "Behind it all in one way or another…"
Oscar had prepared himself for this. He'd already spent the past few days answering for Ozpin's sins. "Anything in particular?"
"Yang," Raven bluntly replied.
Oscar did his best not to let fear slip out. He suspected she'd already be searching for it, and that her invitation was not simply a vicious bandit choosing to be friendly. But still, answering for Ozpin's lies over a dozen lifetimes sounded easier to him than talking about his…
He didn't want to think of her as his ex, but he'd already resigned himself to her having left him. Apparently there was some difference in thinking in the abstract, rather than using a simpler word.
"What about her?" Oscar asked.
"Don't be coy," Raven insisted. "You already know what I want to know."
He had an inkling. Maybe the verbiage wasn't entirely clear, but the gist of it… yeah, Oscar could infer what Raven was asking.
"We were together," Oscar tentatively started.
"Were?" Raven repeated.
He'd already slipped up. Or had she known that already…?
She left after Haven. She wouldn't have had the opportunity to keep tabs on them… though Oscar didn't know where her portal had led either. He didn't know what distance she'd traveled, and according to Yang and Weiss her tribe hadn't been too far south from the city…
"I don't know," Oscar admitted. "I don't know if we're still a thing, or… or not. We didn't really get a chance to talk about it before-"
"Before what?" Raven inquired.
Another long silence. Oscar wasn't sure how to explain it to her…
She was blood to Qrow and Yang, yet sided against them at Haven. She wasn't Salem's creature, but she certainly hadn't been so bothered she couldn't work with the queen's lieutenants…
"I'm not trying to trick you," Raven assured him.
Oscar tried to sound braver than he felt. "Just… what, then? Catching up on gossip?"
Yang had appreciated him trying to be bold. He wondered if that'd hold sway over her mother too.
He could've used the magic… or was Raven Branwen seasoned enough to notice should he try?
It was Raven's turn to fall quiet, however briefly. She eyed him carefully, reading his expression with those focused red eyes. Oscar did as he could not to feel unnerved.
"He didn't tell you, did he?" Raven wondered. "He's kept his secrets from his new vessel too."
"He… yeah, he does that," Oscar conceded. "But maybe you could narrow it down? There were quite a few…"
He also wasn't sure how many of them Raven had been let in on. Qrow had been surprised to learn the truth about Ozma's origin, so perhaps Raven hadn't been privy to it either.
"Why do you think the two of you… aren't together any longer?" Raven inquired. Oscar got the sense she was choosing her words more carefully: not being as flippant or as immediate as she'd been before. She was measuring him much more carefully now.
He knew the reason. He just wasn't sure if Raven was feigning ignorance or not. He wasn't sure how much she already knew and how much she still needed to finish the puzzle on her own.
Normally, Oscar's first instinct when answering a question would be to tell the truth. Before Ozpin, he'd rarely ever had reason to try and think of a lie…
"She can't look at me and not see Ozpin," Oscar explained. "She can't pretend anymore."
That -at least- was terribly true. It just wasn't the whole truth.
Raven seemed confused. "Did she not realize what you had in mind for her? I thought she was savvier than that…"
"What I had in mind…?" Oscar repeated.
What he'd wanted was a beautiful woman to become his girlfriend. Wasn't that motivation enough?
"She knew it wouldn't last," Raven argued. "She had to."
Raven was making some assumptions. She seemed to think events would've played out differently.
"I… didn't get that sense?" Oscar tested the waters once again. "We weren't sure where it was going. We took it… well, we didn't take it slow, but we were trying to work on things day by day and… and for a while at least, it seemed like that was all working out okay for us."
He was defending his relationship. Still trying to pretend there was something left to salvage.
Raven didn't permit the delusion. "You make it sound like there was more to it than there was. Ozpin was using her, just as he did with the others."
Raven knew of Ozpin's proclivities too, then. But why hadn't Ozpin brought her up?
Raven also seemed to think Ozpin -not Oscar- had been the one to want Yang. She too saw right past him to the wizard occupying some distant corner of his soul.
And -more than that- she implied that there hadn't been anything more than just… Oscar refused to believe that had been all of it. He'd felt more than simple lust.
"It wasn't like that," Oscar insisted. "We were trying to be a couple, it's just neither of us were very good at it because we hadn't really tried dating before-"
"Stop it, boy, you're embarrassing yourself," Raven dismissively interjected. "Ozpin didn't bother with such pretenses; he's always been so far above the rest of us that he didn't bother paying lip service if he didn't feel like he had to. He got what he wanted from her."
Oscar turned his head away, finally breaking eye contact. He mumbled: "It wasn't him."
"Hm?" Raven murmured back.
"It wasn't him," Oscar replied in a much clearer tone. "I was the one who wanted to be with Yang, not Ozpin."
He still couldn't quite bring himself to look back at her. This woman could've easily cut him aside with the sword on her hip if he displeased her further…
But Jaune had accosted him hours before. Two days before that, Qrow struck him and left him in the snow. He was tired of letting other people tell him what they thought he was.
"You really believe that, don't you?" Raven mused. "You poor fool."
"You're the fool," Oscar retorted.
Another silence.
But another very brief one. Raven's eyes faintly illuminated, spikes of Aura flaring along the red. "...what was that?"
Oscar reminded himself he was expecting his friends to cast him out. He reminded himself he probably didn't have enough Lien to buy a ride back home and even if the kindness of strangers allowed him to return he'd be going back to the same quiet mediocrity he'd always known.
Oscar reminded himself that whatever thoughts crossed his mind about other girls, whatever his goals may have been at the start… there were times when hearing her stories and holding her hand mattered just as much to him. They were treasured memories too.
"She chose to send me away," Oscar finally told her. "You left her when you didn't have to. You could have been in her life and you decided there was something more important than that. You have to know what you gave up: otherwise you wouldn't have bothered to check up on her and keep tabs on the people in her life."
"You don't know what you're talking about," Raven dismissively muttered.
He'd made a crack. She'd already showed her hand when the Aura -the magic- slipped out. She wasn't quite as confident as she pretended to be… not so different from her daughter, it seemed.
"I don't?" Oscar asked. "You jumped to me at Haven, remember? Yang went down to the vault. You jumped to me so you could get away from her. You still cared enough to be ashamed when she saw what you were."
He heard Raven's teeth gnash. He saw her clench a fist. The Aura that had only trickled out before now emerged in a swathe of bright flame. "You think you can lecture me… at least I didn't pretend to feel something for her rather than admit what I really was."
Oscar could've pushed her further. He was tempted to put the thought in her head, to make her see someone who posed no threat to her could be unafraid; even feel superior to the skilled warrior before him. He imagined such a thought would greatly trouble her.
But she was already troubled; already tortured by doubt and regret. If she'd believed herself to be above her daughter's judgment, she wouldn't have come back.
Oscar tried to be find some patience, some… compassion for someone who was also cut off from Yang Xiao Long and some part of her -some part she wouldn't acknowledge, wouldn't admit to existing- desperately wished she wasn't. Oscar could certainly relate to that.
"I never pretended," Oscar firmly countered. "I don't know what Ozpin ever wanted from her -I could only get a few glimpses of what he was thinking most of the time- but I wanted more than just… just whatever Ozpin had before. Maybe there were times when I slipped up, when I didn't get it right… maybe even times when I ignored doing what I knew was right just so I could have another few minutes with her and… and not think about where it was all going. But that was all real. The good and the bad."
He could've left it there. Raven may have been apprehensive of him now too, but he didn't get the sense she'd immediately decided he was trying to deceive her…
But she had been deceived. By a man who now shared his soul.
"I know that it's over," Oscar finally acknowledged. "I keep trying to convince myself that it isn't, that she'll eventually come around and realize that I'm not only him, that I really felt what I felt… but she won't, and eventually I'm gonna think that and it won't hurt so much." He sighed. "It sucks. It's not fair. But it's real too."
Another silence. Oscar did his best to maintain eye contact, staring at the swirling fame surrounding Raven's bloody red orbs.
Raven sighed, the flames wisping away. She turned her gaze to the stone floor beneath them, shuffling slightly, reaching one hand over to grip her upper arm… another sight not so different from Yang and her occasional tremor. No doubt she'd known trauma too…
But when she spoke up again, it wasn't to offer any explanation. Instead, she asked -in a much smaller, much quieter voice than before: "...you hungry?"
Admittedly, it wasn't what Oscar had expected. And he'd skipped joining the others when they went out to eat themselves, expecting they wouldn't care for his company… "I could eat."
"Come, then," Raven implored. "I know a place."
The others broke off into two groups, Terra going with her brother to help him navigate the unfamiliar city, Weiss and Ruby able to cover more ground with the aid of their Semblances. Yang headed for the lockup at the city's front gate, reasoning that Oscar might've tried to pick up his stuff on his way out. That should've given them a way to cover the exits… or at least, given them a greater chance of spotting him. Oscar wasn't likely to stand out or make himself visible, but he was still a short farmboy in a port city, and not dressed for the weather. Yang hoped she'd at least spot his orange gloves or his dingy suspenders.
Originally she meant to go alone. Originally she thought she should talk to Oscar by herself, because it seemed she only could talk to Oscar when it was just the two of them. The rest of the time… whenever they had an audience, Yang clamped up. She pretended she wasn't as close to him as she'd been.
But when Ruby suggested someone join her, Yang didn't argue the point. When Blake offered to accompany her, Yang only nodded.
Maybe she didn't want to talk to him… maybe she wasn't in such a hurry to bring him back…
Yang told herself that wasn't the truth. She told herself that just because things had changed between them, just because things were difficult for them now…
Blake could clearly sense the turmoil under Yang's skin; she couldn't help but hear it. "...anything you want to talk about?"
"Not really," Yang answered… a little too quickly.
Blake thought about how to broach the topic. It wasn't the first time she chose her words carefully when talking to Yang.
The last time she fumbled it; she inadvertently patronized Yang and overstepped. But Blake knew Yang would appreciate when someone tried to be direct with her. "Do you really think he'll be there? Do you really think he had anything worth keeping? I don't remember Oscar carrying much more than the clothes on his back."
Yang remembered he'd had a few books. She'd never once wondered what he'd read, or if any of them held any particular value… it'd never passed her mind to ask him about his hobbies or his interests. They had talked about important matters -they'd shared secrets that had really mattered- but every time she looked back on their relationship, it became clearer and clearer to Yang how little she'd actually known.
"No," Yang finally replied. "...I don't know. I don't know where he'll go. I don't know if we'll find him. I don't know if-"
She knew what she was thinking, but couldn't bring herself to say it.
It was a terrible thing to say. She hated herself to even think it.
"You don't know if you want to find him," Blake finished for her.
A softer, gentler tone. And a bitterly harsh truth.
"I don't," Yang admitted. "I don't know what I'd say. I don't know what I could tell him that would make any of this any better. Usually… usually when someone's going through some stuff and I see it happening I want to do something to help, but… but I also usually know what would help, and I don't know what he needs. I don't know if any of us can really help him in understanding… something like this."
Yang understood feeling lost and alone. She understood feeling like she was wasting her time and effort for people who hadn't appreciated it. She understood being blamed for something that hadn't been her fault and being surrounded by mistrust.
But Oscar wasn't just working through his friends all being upset at once. He was facing the prospect of ceasing to exist entirely… becoming the ancient wizard rather than merely housing him. And while Yang was hardly the woman she'd been when she left for Beacon, or after its fall… she still considered herself the same person. She still recognized the woman she'd grown into.
What she had trouble recognizing… was Oscar. He still looked much the same, still had the same familiar mannerisms, but when she looked at him, all she could see was the man who'd once married an immortal witch and tried to conquer the world. Those sins might've been enough to earn Yang's enmity, but knowing how he'd lied and used not only her but her father, her mother, her uncle, her sister…
"You don't have to talk to him," Blake reminded her. "You don't have to do anything. Whatever the two of you had, it's not what's important right now. Getting him back, keeping him with us…"
"Is that what you want?" Yang asked, sharply interjecting.
She was genuinely curious. It seemed as though Blake had been there to undermine her and Oscar from the moment she returned, always casting doubt over them just by reminding them she knew about where they went and what they did…
"I don't know," Blake echoed. "I don't know what I want from him. I... I don't hate him, I don't begrudge him because he has Ozpin's soul with him." Another pregnant pause. "But I'd be lying if I said I needed to help him. I don't want him to go out on his own because I know how terrible that feeling is… but I don't need him here with me the way I need the rest of you."
Yang appreciated the honesty -harsh though it was. "I guess you two didn't really have time to get attached, did you?"
Blake glanced past Yang towards the city's high stone wall. She didn't want to meet her eye when she answered. "No. We never did."
At Brunswick farms, she and Oscar had experienced… something; some intense, charged feeling. It hadn't been affection. It hadn't been borne of appreciation or friendship. It should've been an easy thing to forget.
But knowing that Oscar and Yang had shared that something, and Blake had missed that same something without ever knowing it with the person she wanted to know it with…
It wasn't a lie to say Blake didn't need him. It just wasn't the entirety of the truth.
"If we find him, we can just ask him to come back with us," Blake pointed out. "You don't have to say anything else. You don't have to make it about the two of you."
Yang appreciated the consideration, but after a few moments thought she reluctantly shook her head. "No, I think I do. I think if he wants to know I'll tell him. I think I owe him that much: I think he deserves to know."
Blake knew she shouldn't have pressed. But she couldn't quite overcome her own curiosity. "And what will you tell him, if he asks?"
Yang was quiet a few moments before finally answering: "...that I'm sorry."
Blake finally bit her tongue. She knew that it'd be hard enough to say any of this, even without an audience.
When she left the man she'd been with, she hadn't said she was sorry. She'd barely managed a goodbye.
It wasn't fair. It wasn't right.
But she understood it. She could appreciate Yang's strength of character in being willing to actually tell him that things were done rather than simply run away.
Not for the first time, Blake hoped Oscar was already gone. She told herself it was for Yang's sake.
She tried to make herself believe that.
"I don't like them," Raven observed.
"It's cold," Oscar retorted, sliding on the boots. "And they're on sale." He paid the Lien and slipped into the olive coat. He stood up, gingerly stepping about in his new garb before glancing back Raven's way. "...aren't you cold? I mean, I don't know if…" He tried not to stare at her thighs; the patch of pale skin between the pleat of her skirt and her black leggings.
He wasn't quite successful. "...if maybe you're just used to it."
Raven sighed. "I take it the old man hasn't finished your Aura training yet. Otherwise you'd be better able to resist the weather."
Oscar finished trotting about, moving to adjust his new belt and wiggling about to stretch the arms and shoulder pads of his coat, finding a comfortable groove. "Something to look forward to, I guess."
He was grateful to be wearing something new. The cold had an unfortunate tendency to remind him of his trip after the Argus Limited crashed…
The woods, the snow, the farm… the punch, the yelling, the accusations… all just from a few gusts of wind and the faintest sign of falling snow.
Raven was patient with him just a few moments longer. Oscar's Lien card was returned -only slightly damaged by the secondhand purchase- and he rejoined Raven back in the street, following her lead to a stand. She was already ordering some sort of noodle dish served in a wok, and finding a stool for herself and Oscar to sit.
While they waited, Raven poured tea for them both… a much needed burst of warmth. For a few moments they did nothing more than sip their tea.
"...how was she doing, before things went bad?" Raven wondered. "Between Haven and… now I suppose."
It hadn't been very long at all. "I thought she was happy," Oscar replied. "She was working through a lot, but because things worked out for her and all our friends during the battle, she was starting to be a little more optimistic about everything. The day before we left for Argus… she was smiling so much."
He hated to think on it. It hurt to remember, because he knew he wouldn't see that happen again…
"We were planning on telling everyone on the train," Oscar continued. "We'd been putting it off and we wanted to be somewhere we couldn't run from it. She was… I don't know, maybe a little worried about how they'd take it. Definitely more than I was, but she was still going to take the lead. She'd insist on being the one in front."
"I'm not surprised," Raven nodded. "She… she can be stubborn. But I don't think of that as a flaw. She knew what she wanted and she went for it."
Oscar dared to prod a bit, even knowing it could upset their delicate truce. "...did you ever think of telling her that?"
"...not after Haven, no," Raven acknowledged. "After that… after that I was pretty sure I wouldn't be seeing her again. I wasn't planning on coming back."
"Just keeping tabs on her from afar?" Oscar wondered.
"...something like that," Raven allowed. "I had a long talk with her father while I was gone. We were… about as cordial as we could be. She's something we have in common."
Yang's father… Oscar hadn't even thought about how that meeting might've gone. He'd been wary enough sneaking around with her uncle and her sister in the same building. "I'll bet he made you promise to do something."
"For whatever my word is worth to him…" Raven scoffed.
Another long silence.
Oscar poked the bear again. "I know you don't want to see her. I know you think you shouldn't. But-"
"Food," Raven interjected. Oscar watched their bowls set down before them, and Raven devoted all her attention to that.
He supposed that wasn't new. Talking never seemed to work for him.
But then… not talking had led him here, not knowing where he was going, or if he was any closer to his goal… if he even still had a goal now that stopping Salem and saving the world seemed alarmingly further than it had a few days before. When the man who had all the answers admitted he hadn't made any plan to actually defeat their eternal enemy…
Oscar took a moment to watch Raven slurp down some of those noodles. This time he did better… he wasn't quite as obvious in his stare.
He wasn't the only one who was lost… and not the only one who was wrestling with the futility of trying to change things that seemed too far gone to fix.
He remembered Ruby trying to appeal to Raven before their clash, and how Raven had cynically dismissed her. He remembered watching Raven and Qrow clash, thinking how strange it was to see siblings actively trying to cut each other down. He remembered Raven materializing before him and flying away after she left the vault… after Yang went down there to stop her or Cinder Fall from seizing the relic…
Ozpin had driven her away too. Had it hurt him to see her leave, as much as it hurt Oscar when Yang slowly drifted from his side?
He'd never replayed the memory. He couldn't ask the wizard for his insight now.
Oscar liked the noodles. The broth and the tea helped even more than his new threads in pushing back the cold.
He waited until Raven finished hers' before he spoke to her again. He gave her that time to not think; to savor a simple feeling before life's complexities bombarded her again.
"...was there anything else you wanted to know?" Oscar wondered. "Just… just anything that's bothering you that you think I can tell you?"
Raven turned back to her tea cup for a long draught. "Did Ozpin ever tell you about the rest of it? About him and me?"
"No," Oscar simply answered.
Raven glanced back at him with her piercing red eyes. She was quiet once again, silently appraising him.
"No, I suppose he wouldn't," Raven nodded.
"Do… you want to talk about it?" Oscar asked.
"...no," Raven shook her head. "I… I just wondered if what you had with Yang, if that was just him… reminiscing. It seems like that's all he ever wanted the women in his life for: to remind him of something else. I didn't want that for her. I didn't want her to climb into Ozpin's bed without knowing what she was in for."
Raven pushed her teacup and her empty bowl aside. "Finish up. We've got another stop to make."
"...we do?" Oscar wondered, confused. "Where?"
Raven slapped a Lien card on the counter and slid off her stool. "You'll find out."
"Oscar!" Nora called out, upsetting a few pedestrians with her call… and reminding her that she still hadn't made any progress in finding him.
"This city's enormous," Ren lamented. "He could've gone anywhere."
"This is all my fault," Jaune murmured. "I… overreacted."
"I still don't understand what happened," Saphron chimed in. "Was it about the mission...?"
Nora did her best to be diplomatic; she wasn't sure if it was even possible to break down all they'd learned in the past few hours without sounding deranged. "It's… kind of hard to talk about."
"I know, I know," Saphron tried to assure her, but couldn't quite be as sincere as she meant to be when she disparagingly mumbled: "Top secret…" She shook her head and glanced over at her brother. "Did he… do something wrong?"
"...no, he didn't," Jaune grimly replied. "We just got some new information and… it's going to be a lot harder than we thought."
"I mean, if it was easy then it wouldn't be important… right?" Saphron optimistically suggested.
Ren fielded this one on Jaune's behalf. "I think we're all unsure of what to do next."
Saphron continued her brave attempt to clear the air. "You could… stay in Mistral, get your licenses at Haven, and come back to Argus. There's a lot of good you can do here."
She didn't know how tempting it sounded. She didn't realize how badly her sincere efforts to help undermined their resolve.
"I know your mission is important," Saphron continued. "But it's not like you're the only ones who can do it. It's not the only mission that needs doing."
"It's… not that simple," Jaune just managed to say.
He didn't want to burden her with the terrible truth they all knew. Even if that meant it'd push her away… and indeed Saphron began to fall behind Jaune and his team, slowly begging off. "Well, uh…" She looked away from them. "I should go pick up Adrian from daycare. I'll let Terra know what's happened and we'll meet you later." She gently waved. "...good luck."
Jaune looked at the ground once she was out of sight. Nora gently nudged him. "Hey, there's a cafe over there: why don't we get something to warm up?"
"I'm okay," Jaune tried to assure her. "You two go ahead."
Jaune went to sit on the nearest bench he could find. He really needed to find a place to sit…
"You don't want anything?" Nora inquired, trying to nudge him again.
She and Ren exchanged a glance. Ren once again interceded to deflect attention from Jaune. "We'll be right back."
Jaune didn't even wait for them to leave; he didn't bother hiding his guilt.
Another person he'd driven away by his immature reaction… and this time with an audience of their mutual friends to see him do it.
And Oscar… Jaune knew what it was to be out of his depth, to be unprepared for a challenge and putting on a brave face in spite of it. And he'd had defenders to speak up for him whenever he faltered. No one rushed to Oscar's defense when Jaune drove him into the wall.
Why wouldn't he want to get away from that? Whenever Jaune felt alone he went to the roof of the first year dorm and let the cold air slowly wear his Aura down and he could be away from the cruelty of his classmates and peers. He could only imagine where Oscar would run to when people he thought of as friends had been the ones to turn on him.
A dry maple leaf drifted by his shoe. A distraction for a wandering mind.
Jaune followed the path of the foliage flicking about in the wind, away from his bench to a park… to a tall statue...
Oscar followed Raven into the building. It looked deserted -unlocked and open doors, caution tape over certain areas- and he tried not to be too bothered by that. Surely if Raven wanted him dead it'd have been much easier to toss him off the side of the wall. That'd look much more like an accident.
But then, maybe Raven wanted an isolated corner where the others would be less likely to find him…
When they stepped into her selected room, however, he started to get a clearer picture: the space was still furnished, with a bed, a desk and a chair… not so far removed from the rooms in the house Qrow had them all stay in. It seemed far away now…
Maybe Raven was using the location as her base while she was in Argus. Maybe it was just a convenient, isolated place to sleep.
"So… what's here?" Oscar wondered, hoping Raven would offer some insight into this stop on their journey.
"Just us," Raven replied, gently closing the door behind them.
Oscar felt his heartrate speed up a bit; increasingly wary. "...'us?'"
"Us," Raven said again. She stepped past him, her long hair flailing so much -just when she walked by- that it brushed against his shoulder. When she turned to glance back at him, he saw no trace of any Aura in her eyes; no blazing anger either. He'd never known red to look so… soft.
Oscar wasn't sure what she was doing. He could only watch, dumbfounded.
Raven drew closer still. "Something wrong?"
"I'm-" Oscar didn't know where to begin. "Are you-"
Raven took the reins from him. Unlike her daughter, she didn't need to feign any confidence; not here. "I wanted to see if you were looking for something different. Or maybe… something you were missing."
She slid one hand upon his shoulder. Oscar felt his heart racing very quickly now. "What are y- is this a test?
"Of a sort," Raven acknowledged. "But for me; not for you."
Not for him...?
"Then, this isn't about-"
"You said it was over," Raven reminded him. "Didn't you believe that?" A gentle grip on the back of his head, her fingernails tracing the short hairs on the back of his neck. "The way you eyed me up before… I was thinking you'd already moved on.
"But if you're looking for someone who reminds you of her," Raven continued. "I get that. Ozpin needed his proxy too."
She knew. The same way Glynda knew.
And she was just… okay with it?
Oscar hadn't put any suggestions in her head. He hadn't persuaded her to believe she wanted him.
So… why?
"Are you afraid?" Raven wondered. "The way you were with her… you looked a lot more confident than this."
Raven had seen them…?
"Please don't… don't talk about her," Oscar managed to request, though his voice was very fast… and only barely audible, even with Raven inches from his face.
"Why? Are you worried what she'd think?"
Raven's other hand slid down his back, pressed against his waist, pulled him closer…
"Or if not…" Raven gently prodded him, "...if you need to take your mind off of everything…"
At Brunswick Farms, Oscar had very nearly done the same with Blake. He'd come very close to letting himself not care.
It hurt to care. It hurt only more because of how cold it had been…
When they all turned on him and Yang just kept shouting at him… then she walked away…
Raven drew her hand around from his neck to press her palm against his cheek.
Yang had done the same. She reached up from his bed and offered this same gentle, intimate touch… it made Oscar wonder why he ever left that bed. He could only imagine what life would be like if he and Yang had just stayed there, just kept playing house in Mistral…
That was only a few days before. And somehow… it was long gone.
Raven's fingers fell away. The warmth left his cheek. "...you really loved her, didn't you?"
Oscar breathed again. "I… don't know what I felt. I just know it wasn't… this. It wasn't just this."
Raven nodded, finally letting her hands fall away. "I see…"
Oscar blinked. "...are you upset…?"
"I'm surprised," Raven replied. "I'm... I didn't expect Ozpin to turn me down."
This soured Oscar's mood, though he tried not to begrudge her for it. She'd already shown him some kindness today. "...I'm not Ozpin. And whatever there was between the two of you, I'm- I'm not looking for that. I don't want to be like him."
Raven appraised him again. She supposed it was possible… he was a teenage boy, and he may have simply noticed an attractive woman's bare skin. He may have been acting on instinct -and fumbled it in his inexperience- rather than following the wizard's practiced calculation.
"...are you sure?" Raven asked, still eyeing him carefully. "Is there nothing here that you want…?"
Oscar hadn't told her everything he knew. But he hadn't yet been able to lie to her, either.
And if he were honest…
"I'm worried about what it means if I ever get to be like that," Oscar explained. "If I stop remembering who people are -and not who I want them to be instead."
The warmth of her flesh would soothe his troubled mind. He wouldn't have to feel so cold.
"If ever there's a time I want to be with you, and not… not just as a fill-in for someone else, that's when I'd want it to be real," Oscar decided.
He wanted to believe that was true. He wanted to think himself… nobler than the man who'd eventually merge his soul. Maybe being more selective would help him in learning not to be so lonely.
"...seems I was right," Raven mused. "You really are a fool."
Raven detached herself from him completely. "...there's nothing more to this world but us, kid. The only happiness you'll ever find is with the material goods. This is all there is and all there ever will be. You've got to learn to be content with that."
She didn't know. She may have learned some of Ozpin's secrets, but she hadn't learned the greatest of all…
Maybe if she knew… if she understood that not only was it possible for there to be something greater, something more to aspire to, but that it had all already happened…
Oscar shook his head. "I'm okay with getting it wrong. I have a lot of time to learn."
"I hope you do," Raven told him, offering the first sign of… encouragement she'd really given him. Though still wary of her, Oscar couldn't help but think she'd finally paid him a compliment that she actually meant for him to hear. "...get your things. I'll take you back."
Oscar wasn't entirely certain he'd meant to go back. But if he wasn't going to be seeing things Raven's way, if he was going to cling to something -even something so foolish as expecting something that had never happened to him before- then he may as well have waited to see if his friends cast him out before he made the decision for them.
Raven had been wary about making the trip -about jumping to this person in particular- but she had allowed Oscar this indulgence. She had agreed to bring him back, knowing full well it could've led to another confrontation.
She was relieved to find him unconscious: lying on the stoop before Saphron and Terra's townhouse, stinking of the cheap stuff from the bottom shelf. Oscar didn't share it with her, but he was relieved to have dodged that bullet too: he really hadn't wanted to explain to Qrow how he and Raven came to be in each other's company… or exactly how well they knew each other now.
"Some things never change," Raven mused.
"He… he's had a rough week," Oscar argued, trying to offer Qrow some credit for his recent string of particularly poor decisions.
"He usually does," Raven nodded, stepping over, crouching at her twin's side, gently lifting his head up and adjusting his position on the stoop. When she released him and Qrow slumped forward, his head rested against his chest rather than fell on the hard stone.
He hadn't expected her to care about the state he was in. He might've expected her to be ambivalent.
Raven noticed Oscar observing the display. Maybe it was because she was feeling unusually self-conscious after all they'd done -or not done- together, or maybe she was genuinely curious when she asked him: "...what?"
"I… I'm just surprised," Oscar admitted. "The last time I saw you two together, you tried to kill him."
"Qrow's my brother," Raven dismissively replied. "Of course I've tried to kill him. That doesn't mean I wanted him to die."
That didn't make a whole lot of sense to Oscar. Apparently it made sense to Raven…
"Are you sure you won't stay?" Oscar asked. "I'm sure…"
"You're sure of what?" Raven interjected. "That she'll want to see me?"
Oscar shook his head. "I'm sure that you could talk, if you wanted to."
Raven paused. For a moment… for an all-too-fleeting moment… Oscar thought she might've considered it.
But eventually Raven shook her head. "This is the life you want, Oscar."
"And the life she wants too," Oscar reminded Raven.
Another long silence. Raven turned around and headed for an isolated corner of the street to facilitate her exit.
Oscar wasn't sure she wanted to hear from him again, but he did decide to push his luck… ever so slightly. "Your Semblance… bound us, right? So if you wanted… you could jump to me again. If you ever change your mind."
Raven briefly glanced back at him with one red eye. "If."
She sliced the air and vanished in the portal she'd cut open. Moments later, there was no evidence she'd ever been there at all.
Oscar sighed. He supposed it wouldn't have been so easy to make a change as drastic as that… Raven was just as stubborn as her daughter.
He glanced down at Qrow still sleeping off the drink on the stoop. He was a bit too heavy for Oscar to drag inside, so he'd have to wait for the others to get back before he could pull Qrow in from the cold.
He didn't know if the others ever found the meals they went out for. Maybe they'd be hungry when they got back…
He heard voices outside. Oscar looked away from the stove and saw familiar colors dotting the drab street outside.
"...I'm sure this looks great to the neighbors," Terra sarcastically observed of the drunken Huntsman sprawled out on the steps before her townhouse.
Saphron gently elbowed her wife. Ren, Nora, and Jaune followed suit, regrouping with the others as Yang and Ruby tried to hoist Qrow up from the stone. Ren glanced over at Blake and Weiss and asked: "...no luck?"
"No, you?" Blake inquired back.
"Don't worry," Jaune assured. "We aren't going to Atlas without him."
"We?" Ruby repeated.
Jaune exchanged a smile with his teammates, before sheepishly turning to his sister. "Sorry we won't be staying."
Saphron understood, sharing the levity of Jaune's more recently acquired pair of siblings. "No, you're not."
"How about we get out of the cold?" Terra suggested.
He hadn't planned the timing. He'd simply gone to open the door the same time they had. "Oh, I was wondering when you'd get back…"
He didn't expect much of a reaction. He didn't expect everyone in front of him to shout: "Oscar!" He certainly didn't expect to be buried under a flurry of seven people.
His friends -even Yang and Blake- reaching out to embrace him. It… it hadn't been how he expected this reunion to go. He'd started making food in part to placate them, and expected them to scold and berate him, rather than… well, rather than hug him.
"You had us worried sick!" Weiss protested.
"Are you okay?" Ruby inquisitively wondered.
"What are you wearing?" Nora wondered, appraising Oscar's outfit, caressing her chin with her index finger.
Oscar didn't know where to begin. It really made for quite a nice change of pace to have all these girls paying attention to him, even if he hadn't prepared anything particularly witty to say. "Uh…"
"...is something cooking?" Terra wondered, rescuing Oscar before he had a chance to stumble.
"Oh, uh, yeah," Oscar confirmed. "I thought you guys would appreciate a hot meal after… uh, spending all day looking for me, apparently."
He felt guilty thinking about where he'd been, if only because he hadn't expected anyone to come looking for him…
"It's my fault we were all out there in the first place," Jaune quickly assumed responsibility. "Oscar… I am so sorry for earlier. I was way, way out of line and what I said-"
"No," Oscar interjected. "No, it's okay…"
He hadn't expected anyone to apologize. He hadn't expected them to really talk to him at all.
Raven reminded him there wasn't only what you expected to happen. His friends -his friends- reminded him that he wasn't always as alone as he felt.
If Jaune was willing to acknowledge he'd done wrong, maybe Oscar could return the courtesy. Not talking hadn't been doing much to help them, and maybe… just maybe it'd go differently if he tried it. Everyone being sincerely pleased to see him… maybe he was right to put stock in something besides what he thought he knew.
"These past few days… I've been scared of the same things you were," Oscar admitted. "I don't know how much longer I'm going to be… me. But I did some thinking…"
He briefly found Yang's eye. She was listening, she had seemed relieved to see him… but he knew he shouldn't have brought her into it. The others… there was no longer any reason to tell them.
"...and I do know I want to do everything I can to help with whatever time I have left."
Jaune smiled. "Good. The team isn't the same without you, Oscar."
Everyone at Jaune's back seemed to be smiling too. Yang… wasn't, but Oscar didn't begrudge her. He knew that whatever had just happened, what he expected her to do… that hadn't changed, much as he may have wanted it to.
A distant beeping drew Oscar's attention. "...the casserole!"
Saphron giggled. "We're on it, chef." She and her wife stepped out, baby Adrian handed off to Maria, who seemed quite pleased to take charge of him for a moment.
"Uh…" Ruby began, "...combat gear looks good."
Combat gear… not at all what he'd intended, but Oscar did suppose it was more effective for defense than his suspenders…
He smiled at Ruby. She smiled right back.
Definitely more than just the physical in front of him. Definitely more than what he could see, hear, feel…
What had Ozpin called it… a spark?
Qrow emerged from his drunken stupor and headed up the stairs. When Ruby asked where he was heading, Qrow grumbled out: "Look, Ruby, I'm glad you kids worked out… uh, whatever all that was. But the fact is, we're not a single step closer to Atlas."
There it was again, the harsh reality.
But just as quickly, a foolish hope reared up to meet it. "Actually," Jaune replied, "I have an idea."
Oscar nodded along. Even when he heard Jaune propose something as crazy as stealing an Atlesian airship to continue their journey.
Nothing had gone to plan. Maybe his mistake had been in assuming that things were supposed to.
Raven only told Taiyang that Yang and Ruby were alright. She hadn't actually seen either of them to confirm that, but Oscar never suggested otherwise… and -contrary to her expectations- the boy was not a liar.
He was… loyal. Even when he knew the girl he'd really wanted had moved on from him, he refused to betray her. Raven wondered how long that'd last.
She wondered… if she should be the one to disabuse him of that notion…
Raven shook her head. If all she wanted was an honest man, she could've just stayed there in Patch with Taiyang and tried-
No, that had even less chance of success. Taiyang already knew who she was and had come to his conclusions. And if he decided to forgive her betrayal… some part of Raven wanted that, and some part of her would think less of him for it. Some part of her still wanted him to be stronger than that; too strong to even forgive.
Oscar Pine…
If she wished, if ever the mood struck her…
Her soul was bound to Ozpin through her Kindred Link. Until Ozpin's soul completed its merger in Oscar, she could open a portal and go to him. And right then, he was alone.
She did not think he'd want to be that way forever…