It looked almost funny to her then.
It seemed so crazy and sadly silly that for a second, Guinevere wondered if she was dreaming. If she just blinked a few times, maybe it would all go away. Maybe the world would be kind, for once in her life.
But blinking did not change the truth.
She stood still in the doorway, watching the two people she felt closest to all mixed up together. Her heart felt too heavy for her chest, like a sea rising too high, waiting for someone to help her before she drowned.
But no one reached out to help her.
Because the people she thought would save her… were the ones pushing her down.
Guinevere stopped breathing for a moment. A painful, burning feeling rose in her throat. Every memory, every laugh they shared, every promise, every kind look seemed like a cruel joke now.
How long?
How long had they been doing this behind her back?
How long had she been such a fool?
She watched as both of the people she thought she knew, melted under each, each movement brought shame to her, she couldn't watch this.
Bavkgy was the first one to see her there. He stopped moving immediately,his eyes opening wide in shock.
"Guin wait, this isn't…" he began with the cliche explanation, but Guinevere didn't want to hear any of it.
Lina sat up fast, grabbing a sheet to cover herself up. "Guin, listen, it's not what you think…"
That line, that old saying, broke something inside her.
Guinevere laughed a little. A sad, empty sound. "Not what I think?" Her voice shook, the anger and sadness mixing together like storms. "Really? Then tell me, what am I supposed to think?"
She stood, and the whole room froze, like it was waiting for the perfect explanation. The music which Bavkgy has now turned down, also seemed to have come to its end, bringing total silence to the room.
They looked at each other, scared, both reaching out as if they could fix this, as if their words could get rid of the picture in her head.
Bavkgy moved closer. "Guin please, just calm down. We didn't want you to find out like this."
"Find out?" Guinevere repeated, her voice breaking. "So it is real. You're saying it's true."
She stepped backwards, the more Bavkgy spoke, like she didn't want to stain herself of whatever he had use to tint himself.
Her eyes darting between the two naked frames.
Lina stood up, already starting to cry. "Guin, I swear, it just happened. We didn't want to hurt you." she pleaded also trying to get close to Guinevere, who still didn't want any of them.
A bad, bitter feeling twisted in Guinevere's chest. "You didn't want to hurt me? Then what is this?" She pointed around the room. "A party? A nice gift? A joke?"
The feelings she had been hiding for days fear for her grandmother, loneliness, tiredness finally broke through. A strong wave of anger went through her, one she didn't know she had.
"You two…" she whispered, her voice shaking a lot. "You two knew everything I was going through. You knew my grandmother was dying. You knew I felt alone. And you…" she pointed at Bavkgy, "you couldn't even answer my calls."
Bavkgy avoided her eyes, clearly guilty of anything she was saying….he truly had a way of helping her, but he didn't.
She turned to Lina, feeling more betrayed than ever. "And you. You listened to me cry. You said you were on my side. You said you'd face the world with me. But you were sleeping with my boyfriend the whole time."
Both of them tried to say it wasn't true, to explain, to touch her.
But Guinevere stepped away as if their touch would burn her.
"The worst thing," she said softly, her voice cracking with emotion, "is that either of you… just one of you… could have assisted me in keeping my grandmother alive. But you chose not to. Not even a single time. You just saw me struggling as you went behind my back and kept secrets."
"I had thought, maybe we were all struggling in this, maybe he was having issues of his own, that's why i didn't bother him, not knowing his house, was his own personal dump for money, this is why you ignored my calls right?"
She didn't give them time to answer, "the late nights you were busy, Lina's important meetings at 5pm, all of it for this."
Her eyes became watery with tears that were hot and she couldn't stop them.
Lina tried to touch her again. "Guin please "
"Leave me alone," Guinevere said quickly, her voice sounding like it could cut through anything. "Keep your hands off me."
With her heart feeling like it was being torn apart, she turned and ran from the room very fast. She did not turn around. She could not. The disloyalty hurt too much. Her breaths were quick and hard as she ran out of the apartment, with tears now running down her face.
She ran down the stairs, out of the building, and into the night, moved by a broken heart, anger, embarrassment, and something much more sinister.
All the things she thought were true, everything she depended on… had disappeared.
She only stopped when she got to the road, her legs feeling weak, her chest feeling tight and full of pain. She wrapped her arms around herself, shaking, unable to stop crying.
And from a place where nobody would ever expect to see anyone from the top of a building close by, far above the weak lights of the street, a dark shape watched her silently.
A tall person. Not moving. Completely still.
Eyes shining with a look that was impossible to understand.
Biding time.
Looking on.
Calm.
As if Guinevere's pain was planned…
but the start of something he had been looking forward to for a while.