They were going to steal Barbatos' buried wine stash and use it as startup capital.
"When do we start?"
Lumine was practically vibrating with excitement.
She couldn't wait anymore.
Once they completed this job, they'd leave for Liyue.
There's no way the Anemo Archon would chase them that far.
The Geo Archon next door definitely wouldn't approve.
Besides, they were only taking a little wine.
A god shouldn't be so petty… right?
Seeing Lumine's eager expression, Jiang Chen chuckled.
"No rush.
First, we buy some regular wine.
Then… we go find Venti."
He already had a plan to get that drunkard unconscious.
They would visit Diona and have her make something special—
Very high alcohol content.
One sip and Venti would be out cold for days.
Once Venti was knocked out, stealing the wine stash would be easy.
"Alright!"
Lumine had no objections.
As long as Jiang Chen had a plan, she'd follow.
"What are you talking about?"
Paimon blinked, completely lost.
They were obviously hiding something from her,
and she deeply disliked that feeling.
"Nothing."
"Kids shouldn't ask too many questions."
Jiang Chen didn't even bother looking at her.
If they told Paimon, she'd 100% blab the entire plan to the world within an hour.
So Jiang Chen and Lumine both agreed to keep her in the dark.
Paimon glanced between them suspiciously,
but since neither would talk, there wasn't much she could do.
After paying for their meal, Jiang Chen led Lumine through Mondstadt again.
First stop: the Dawn Winery's local branch—buying several bottles.
Then, Jiang Chen took her to a small tavern called The Cat's Tail.
Even before stepping inside, noise leaked out—
Mondstadt's drinkers were already celebrating the end of the Dragon Crisis.
Inside, Jiang Chen spotted Diona immediately,
looking absolutely disgusted as she served a rowdy crowd of drunks.
It was daytime.
And they were all drinking already.
She hated it.
Hated all of them.
Hated alcohol.
She was so irritated she angrily added a spoonful of salt into the drink she was mixing.
Jiang Chen's mouth twitched.
Diona's ability was terrifying—
even if she added literal trash into the drink,
it would somehow still turn out delicious.
Lumine and Paimon looked around with open curiosity.
"You're here to drink?" Paimon asked.
"No," Jiang Chen replied.
"We're here to buy a special kind of drink."
He walked to the counter.
Diona heard footsteps and snapped without looking up:
"Stupid drunk! Hurry up and say what you want! I'm busy!"
"I'm not here to drink," Jiang Chen replied calmly.
"I need you to make a bottle of extremely strong liquor.
The kind that gets someone drunk instantly.
It's a gift… for a certain drunkard.
I want him to drink it once and fear it forever."
Diona froze.
His words…
gave her a fantastic idea.
Right!
Why didn't she think of this earlier?
She could simply make extremely potent alcohol—
the kind that knocked drunks out with one sip.
Make them suffer, make them collapse,
make them regret ever touching liquor!
Her eyes lit up brilliantly.
"Wait here.
I'll finish this quickly."
She sped up, preparing the last few orders.
Jiang Chen sat at the counter, waiting patiently.
Not long after, Diona returned.
"Tell me your request again.
In detail."
Her eyes sparkled like a cat who had just discovered something fun.
"High alcohol content. Smells great.
Gives headaches.
Knocks the drinker out for days."
Jiang Chen explained.
Diona nodded seriously.
"Got it!
Give me a moment.
If this works, it'll be perfect!"
She glanced at Jiang Chen,
then at the drunkards loudly celebrating behind him.
Perfect test subjects.
Diona crouched behind the counter and pulled out a bottle covered in dust.
Then she began her alchemical chaos—
adding bizarre ingredients Lumine absolutely did NOT recognize.
Lumine stared with wide eyes.
People can drink that? Really?
Paimon trembled silently,
afraid Jiang Chen might test the drink on her later.
After mixing and shaking,
Diona placed a beautiful, fragrant, jewel-colored drink on the counter.
Jiang Chen sniffed it.
Even though he wasn't a drinker, he could tell—
this was dangerously delicious.
"Done. Try it."
Jiang Chen gave it a thumbs-up.
"Looks great.
But I don't handle alcohol well, so I'll pass."
Before he could finish—
a drunkard wandered over, nose twitching.
"So fragrant…
Diona, is this a new drink?
Give me a glass!"
Jiang Chen immediately held out the cup.
"Here, try mine.
I don't drink anyway.
Consider it my treat."
A perfect test subject delivered right on time.
The drunk hesitated out of politeness—
but not with his hands.
He took the glass immediately.
"One sip won't hurt, right?"
He chugged it down.
Instantly, his face turned beet red.
His throat tightened like he was being strangled.
But the taste—
the taste was heavenly.
Even if it killed him, he refused to spit it out.
Gulp!
He swallowed with tears in his eyes,
then exhaled heavily.
"S-So… good!!"
His whole body trembled with excitement.
After only one sip, his eyes went unfocused.
He wobbled,
scrambling for another mouthful.
Second sip—
he swayed dangerously.
Third sip—
he collapsed face-first onto the floor.
Jiang Chen watched with absolute satisfaction.
Perfect.
Advance Chapters available on Patreon
patreon.com/ZoroTL442