The first thought that entered Ravi's mind upon waking was don't move.
He was lying perfectly still on the lumpy mattress, staring at a fresh crack in the ceiling that definitely wasn't there last night. Sunlight—or this world's equivalent, a bright, golden-white light—streamed through the grimy window.
He'd managed to break a bathtub and a water pipe. He would not be defeated by a bed frame.
Slowly, millimeter by millimeter, he rolled to his side. The frame beneath him groaned a symphony of tortured wood. He held his breath, slid his legs over the edge, and placed his feet on the floor with the gentle grace of a ballerina landing on a landmine.
The floorboards held. The bed frame let out one final, mournful creak, but remained in one piece.
Success.
After a quick, paranoid check of his disastrous handiwork in the bathhouse—his stone-plugged tub seemed to be holding, mostly—he headed downstairs. The Grumpy Gorgon was empty save for the mustachioed innkeeper, who eyed him with deep suspicion as he left. Ravi gave him a friendly wave, which only seemed to deepen his distrust.
The Adventurer's Guild was already buzzing with activity. He spotted Lyanna near the quest board almost immediately. She stood out like a silver lighthouse in a sea of greasy leather and rusted iron. Today she wore a more practical set of boiled leather armor over chainmail, her greatsword still strapped to her back. It was clearly her 'casual adventuring' attire.
She smiled when she saw him, a flash of warmth that made the rowdy guild hall seem a little less grim.
"Ravi! You look... well-rested," she said, though her eyes suggested 'less terrified than yesterday'.
"Something like that," he replied. "Ready for my first quest? Finding a lost cat, was it?"
Lyanna's expression soured slightly. "About that... F-Rank quests are beneath my registered party rank. The guild won't let me officially take one."
"Ah. So I'm on my own?" Ravi felt a genuine flicker of panic. Not because of danger, but because of the logistics. He didn't know anything about this world. How to track a cat? How to read the maps? How to avoid accidentally punching a hole through the client's house?
"Of course not!" she said, aghast at the suggestion. "I've arranged something. A goblin subjugation quest. It's D-Rank, technically, but it's a small nest, perfect for beginners. I'll be acting as an 'advisor' for another party that's taking the quest. You'll be with them."
Before Ravi could respond, a sneering voice cut in. "Taking the new pet out for a walk, Stormforge?"
Kaelen. He'd seemingly materialized beside them, his arms crossed over his massive chest. He looked Ravi up and down. "Goblins? Good choice. Might be an even fight for him."
Lyanna's hand instinctively went to the hilt of her sword. "You have guild business, Kaelen, or are you just here to pollute the air?"
Kaelen just chuckled and sauntered off. "Try not to get him killed. It'd be a mess to clean up."
Ravi just sighed internally. Great. The local asshole is my biggest fan.
"Don't listen to him," Lyanna said, her voice tight with anger. She gestured toward a nearby table where two other adventurers sat waiting. "This is your party for the day. Be nice."
One was a young man, barely out of his teens, with a shock of messy brown hair and an over-eager grin. He wore mismatched pieces of leather armor and had a shortsword at his hip that he kept patting like a nervous pet.
The other was a girl who looked even younger, with wide, timid brown eyes and a simple robe. She clutched a wooden staff topped with a glowing green crystal.
"This is Erik and Elara," Lyanna introduced. Wait, Elara? Wasn't that the grumpy registrar? No, this was a different one. Common name, probably. "Erik is the swordsman, Elara is the healer. This is Ravi. He'll be joining you for this quest. It's his first."
Erik puffed out his chest. "A newbie! Don't you worry, friend. Stick with me, and you'll learn the ropes. I've taken out three goblin nests already."
"It was two nests," Elara the healer whispered, staring at the table. "And the last one, you almost lost a finger."
"Details, details!" Erik boomed, waving a dismissive hand. He looked Ravi over. "What's your class, newbie? Warrior? Rogue?"
"Just... Ravi," Ravi said with a helpless shrug. "No class. F-Rank."
Erik's bravado faltered. "Oh. Right. Well. Just… stay behind Elara. And try not to get in the way."
The journey out of the city took them into a sparse forest with the same weird, spiral-trunked trees. The path was uneven, littered with loose stones and gnarled roots.
Ravi had to concentrate on every single step. A normal stride would have sent him launching ten feet forward. A misplaced step could turn a rock into a projectile. He stumbled frequently, deliberately, making himself look clumsy and out of his depth.
Erik was insufferable, offering condescending advice. "Watch your footing, newbie! Can't slay goblins if you trip over your own feet!"
Lyanna kept shooting Erik warning glares, while simultaneously watching Ravi with the worried intensity of a mother hen. "Are you alright, Ravi? We can slow down if you need."
"I'm fine," he'd gasp, feigning breathlessness. It was exhausting work, acting exhausted.
They arrived at a series of rocky hills. A dark, jagged opening was nestled at the base of one of them—a cave mouth. A foul, acrid stench wafted from it.
"Goblin cave," Erik announced with authority. "Smell that? Filth and stale blood. Classic."
"Light," Lyanna commanded. Elara the healer nervously mumbled something, and the crystal on her staff flared to life, casting a warm, green glow.
Erik drew his shortsword. "Alright, team. I'll take point. Elara, you stay behind me. Ravi… you stay behind Elara. If you see a goblin, just scream."
They entered the cave. The stench was ten times worse inside. The green light of the staff cast flickering, monstrous shadows on the damp stone walls. The only sounds were the drip of water and the scuttling of… something, just out of sight.
They didn't have to wait long.
Three green-skinned creatures with jagged teeth and beady black eyes scrambled out from a side passage. Goblins. They were short, maybe four feet tall, but wiry and armed with crude, rusty cleavers.
"First blood is mine!" Erik yelled, charging forward.
He was clumsy, but enthusiastic. He swung his sword wildly, catching one goblin in the chest. It went down with a squeal. The other two, however, were quicker. One dodged his next swing and lunged, its cleaver slicing his thigh.
"Agh!" he yelped, stumbling back.
Lyanna was about to intervene, her face a mask of cold fury, but Ravi acted first.
While everyone was focused on Erik, Ravi noticed a fourth goblin creeping along a high ledge, a heavy rock in its hands, aiming right for Elara's unprotected head.
He couldn't just throw something. He couldn't rush over. Too obvious.
So he "tripped."
"Whoa!" he yelped, stumbling forward dramatically. His foot "accidentally" kicked a loose stone on the cave floor. It wasn't a kick so much as a tap.
The stone shot off the ground like a bullet. It was a silent, lethal blur in the dim light. It connected with the goblin on the ledge with a wet thwack. The creature dropped its rock and pitched forward off the ledge, landing in a boneless heap on the cave floor, dead.
No one noticed.
Lyanna had already moved in, a blur of silver. Her greatsword descended. One of the remaining goblins was cleaved in two. The other tried to flee, but she simply spun, the pommel of her sword catching it in the temple. It collapsed instantly.
The entire fight had lasted less than ten seconds.
"Erik! Are you hurt?" Elara rushed forward, her hands glowing with green energy as she tended to the cut on his leg.
Erik groaned, clutching his thigh. "It's just a scratch. I had them right where I wanted them."
Lyanna glanced back at Ravi, who was now leaning against the wall, panting for show. "Did you see that, Ravi? That's what happens when you underestimate them. You stay back, you understand?"
"Loud and clear," he gasped.
They pushed deeper. The cave widened into a larger chamber littered with crude bone piles and filthy rags. More goblins. A dozen, at least. And in the center of them stood a larger, bulkier specimen, almost six feet tall with a jagged scar across one eye. A Hobgoblin.
"That's…" Erik swallowed hard. "That's not a normal goblin nest."
"D-Rank was a bad report," Lyanna said, her voice grim as she readied her sword. "This is C-Rank at least. We're falling back. Now."
But Erik, high on adrenaline and stupidity, didn't listen. "No way! Think of the bounty! I'll take the big one, you guys get the rest!"
He charged forward with a battle cry that sounded more like a shriek of terror.
The Hobgoblin just grinned, a horrible, toothy expression. It hefted a massive club made from a knotted log and swatted Erik out of the air like a fly.
Erik slammed into the cave wall with a sickening crunch and crumpled to the ground, his shortsword skittering across the floor.
Elara screamed.
"Ravi, get her out of here!" Lyanna commanded, stepping forward to face the horde alone.
The goblins surged forward, a chittering wave of green malice. Lyanna was a whirlwind of steel, but she was surrounded. Overwhelmed. The Hobgoblin was lumbering toward her, its club raised for a killing blow.
She couldn't possibly fight them all and defend the two unconscious or screaming party members behind her. She was going to get hit. She was going to get hurt.
And that was something Ravi absolutely would not allow.