Si-Yoon had spent the last hour immersed in the lore. The sheer scope of his predicament was horrifying, but at least he had a target.
More immediately, he had a more pressing target: the financial ledgers. Zygone's plan relied on crippling Kallian's kingdom through gross economic mismanagement, ensuring the North would be weak and disorganized when the Holy Hero arrived.
Si-Yoon retrieved the tax ledger Lyra had dropped and slammed it onto the desk.
If I fix the budget, I disrupt Zygone's plan. I need to implement modern accounting. Zero-based budgeting, starting now.
Just as he was about to flip open the cover, two large, translucent panels materialized side-by-side, hovering two feet from his skeletal face.
The first panel detailed his mission:
[SYSTEM ALERT: PRIMARY QUEST INITIALIZED]
MISSION: The Final Performance | | :--- |
ROLE: Skeleton Lord Kallian von Draich |
GOAL: Reach the final scene without dying. |
REWARD: Successful return to the original world. |
FAILURE: Permanent death of soul.
STATUS: In Rehearsal. |
Si-Yoon's jaw rattled in quiet dread.
He glanced at the second panel, which displayed his current performance metrics.
[ACTOR PERFORMANCE METRICS: KALLIAN VON DRAICH]
[Menace Rating: D (Above threshold, but only barely.)]
[Tyrant Aura: F (Looks constipated (hard to tell).]
[Shadow Magic Aptitude: F (Avoid combat.)]
[Charisma (Undead): F (Mortem confused silence for strategy.)]
[Current Stage Presence Points (SPP): 5 (Pitiful.)]
Five Stage Presence Points? After I ordered a genocide?
Si-Yoon thought, utterly mortified. The System didn't respond, but the "Pitiful" note seemed to flash briefly.
He opened the ledger. Entries were baffling.
'Soul-Gem Value,' 'Plague Rations,' and 'Grated Hero Bone.' The math was written in complex summoning circles.
"I need an audit function," he whispered to himself.
He mentally accessed the System Shop.
[SYSTEM SHOP: ESSENTIAL TOOLS]
[Tool: Q-Branch Audit Function SPP Cost: 50 SPP Description:Converts Infernal Accounting to recognizable, color-coded spreadsheet data. For financial weaklings.]
[Tool: Basic Shadow Step SPP Cost: 100 SPP Description:Teleport 5 meters. Might trip.]
[Tool: Improved Vocal Reverb SPP Cost: 25 SPP Description:Makes commands 10% more unsettling.]
I only have five points. I need 45 more to not bankrupt the kingdom. I must generate a performance.
Si-Yoon couldn't leave the study, so he went for the next best thing: Evil Bookkeeping.
He slammed his fist (bone fist) onto the desk. He snatched the Griffon feather quill and began scribbling furious, nonsensical runes across the margins. He was essentially defacing the document with intimidating, pointless glyphs; an actor's interpretation of 'Evil Scrutiny.'
I am Kallian von Draich. I do not read ledgers; I subjugate them! This page is "FLAGGED FOR ABSOLUTE DAMNATION."
This one? "DEFICIT DECLARED UNHOLY."
As he finished the seventh pointless rune, the System chimed:
[+20 SPP: Action perceived as 'Ritualistic Scrutiny of Finance.' Subordinate monitoring systems report a 5% drop in morale among accounting zombies.]
[Current SPP: 25]
Suddenly, the door to the hidden study exploded inward, revealing Commander Mortem, glistening with fresh battlefield grime.
"My Lord! Forgive this unholy intrusion!" Mortem roared, dropping to one knee.
"Contingency 4: Immediate Status Check! And thank the unholy spirits! You are engaging in the Sacred Art of Ledger Subjugation!"
Si-Yoon quickly covered the ledger with the Ballad of the Holy Hero novel. "I am always sharp, Mortem. I am merely... reviewing my assets."
"Lyra mentioned you required layered pain, My Lord," Mortem continued, his voice heavy with self-reproach.
"I realized my gift was inadequate. The Skull of Crying Children is static. You require dynamic dissonance."
Mortem performed the ultimate gesture of self-sacrifice: he carefully wrenched a section of plate armor from his left shoulder, exposing a pale, raw nerve bundle.
"I offer you my most painful nerve bundle," Mortem declared, holding out the armor piece and a pair of pliers. "I will stand here, and you may gently pluck the exposed nerves. The sound of my restrained agony will provide the necessary Dynamic Dissonance for your time magic ritual!"
Si-Yoon stared at the glistening pliers and the loyal, exposed nerves. This was the moment. He had to refuse this gift with the perfect mix of boredom and elevated cruelty to gain the points.
He seized the Scepter, channeling the essence of a truly bored tyrant who found such simple torture utterly beneath his celestial notice.
"Mortem," Si-Yoon declared, projecting cold, absolute weariness. "Set aside your... charming offering. Your devotion is duly noted."
He waved the Scepter dismissively.
"My contemplation has moved beyond physical agony. I am now exploring Existential Misery. Take your vulnerable, exposed nerves and secure the hidden library door. The thought of intruders disturbing my deeply private study gives me all the misery I require. Go! Now! And suffer quietly!"
Mortem's face fell in disappointment, then immediately brightened with realization. "Existential Misery! A level of suffering I can only dream of! I shall guard the entrance with my life, My Lord!"
Mortem instantly spun around, secured the nerve bundle, and positioned himself rigidly in front of the tapestry door, radiating intense, protective dread.
The System chimed instantly:
[+50 SPP: Action perceived as 'Lord Refuses Sacrifice for a Higher, More Disturbing Suffering.' Masterful display of psychological torture (Self-Imposed). Menace Rating increased to 81%.]
[Current SPP: 75]
Si-Yoon slumped back into his chair, heart pounding.
"Yes! Take that, Existential Misery!"
I have 75 points. I can buy the spreadsheet.
He initiated the purchase.
[Q-BRANCH AUDIT FUNCTION PURCHASED: -50 SPP.]
[Current SPP: 25]
The ancient ledger dissolved into a perfectly formatted, color-coded excel sheet floating beside him.
"Perfect," Si-Yoon murmured, a genuine, non-evil smile stretching his jawbones.