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Chapter 9 - Chapter No.9: Do You Feel Fear?

After all the celebrations end, Gilles is interviewed by a reporter. But before the interview starts, they have a little chat together.

"I have a little request for you, mister Villeneuve."

"Yes, ma'am?"

"I don't know how well you are used to professional interviews but please... don't ruin this or anything. I am not in the best financial situation so I need this to play out well, okay?"

"I don't see a problem in that, I'll do my best to not ruin this." He chuckles a bit before seeing her hand slide on his thigh, he then wipes it away quickly before the interview starts.

"Good day to all our readers, today we have a very interesting guest," she winks at Gilles, "and that is a very talented and promising racing driver... Gilles Villeneuve. Hello, mister Villenueve."

"Hello, it's a pleasure for me to be here."

"First of all, I would like to congratulate you! You won the snocross world championship and few weeks after that in your debut race you won your first podium in the Formula Atlantic. You seem duly satisfied, what is going through your mind right now after such a magnificent race session, mister Villeneuve?"

"Oh thanks for congratulations! You can actually just call me Gilles, you know. I won't bite you," he chuckles and continues to talk: "and to answer your question. Well, I'm happy of course, maybe even more than that. You can propably imagine that I didn't expect to score podium in my first race here. Honestly during the race I didn't even believe I will score any points at all, then luckily for me it was restarted."

The reporter takes a breath to speak again and ask another question but before she manages to do it, Gilles starts talking: "How is the driver that crashed anyway? Is he alright? It wasn't the nicest crash to see."

The reporter seems little bit confused at first, "Well... yes. I think that he isn't in danger or something."

"Oh, I'm so glad to hear that! To be honest, if I have known that such a thing will happen, I wouldn't do that maneuver."

"Oh, that's nice from you to say that, I belive that he does appreciate your concern. But that brings me to my question, and not just mine but propably a question, that everyone who has watched the race, is asking, and that is if you even do feel fear?"

Gilles is taken aback by this question, for a while he doesn't even speak and thinks about the next words that he is going to say, "Well, in my opinion, to be successful in a sport where you drive in such a high speed as we do, you need to remove such an emotion. Honestly I'm kinda surprised that you even ask me such a thing because driving without fear is something that I have learned to do my whole life, thinking it's neccesary. And of course I know all the risks. Of course I'm certain of all the bad outcomes that can happen on the track but I just don't think about them during the race. All I put my focus into during the race is just the race, nothing else."

"I see, maybe other drivers should propably learn from your mindset then, Gilles..." she smirks, placed her hand on Gilles' thigh and winks after saying that, visibly trying to catch Gilles' attention little more.

After few more minutes the interview is over but the reporter doesn't let Gilles go away so easy, "Can I talk to you for few more seconds, mister Villeneuve? Sorry, I mean Gilles. Without cameras and recording of course. Cammon, you can trust me."

Gilles is concerned at first but then he starts talking: "Of course, what do you want to discuss and why without cameras? I bet it's something interesting that your readers would like to know about."

"I don't think so because it could ruin your career easily."

"What do you mean?" Gilles is visibly confused after she said that.

"That concern about the driver you send out of the race, it was just for the public view, right? Trust me, if you tell me, I will keep it as my own secret." She tryes to reach her hand out to grab Gilles' hand but he dodges it.

"What the hell?! What are trying to play here?! I'm disgusted that you would even think something like that about me! I mean what I say!"

"Yeah, sure," winks at him and grabs his hand successfully this time, "I know you racers, all selfish and willing to do anything to gain advantage and then act in the media like victims to not lose your fanatic fans. Your own teams don't even like you. You are monsters!"

Gilles then rips his hand out of her hand causing her audio recorder to fall from her pocket, "No records, yeah? Who is the real monster here, we racers or you?"

After this Gilles' mood quickly falls into the pit of frustration. But one thing is running still through his mind, "Your own teams don't even like you.". He then decides to approach his main mechanic and apologise for not disobeying the team orders one more time.

"Oh, that thing still bothers ya? It's okay, kid."

"But I was rude and mean towards you."

"What happens on the track stays on the track, ya know?"

"But we could have lost due to that and..."

"Look kid, we didn't, okay? And as long as you realise your mistake and learn from it, everything is fine. Ain't that right?" Pats his shoulder, "Now go celebrate with your family and don't worry abou it."

"Thanks, sir. I'll do exactly what you told me." smiles.

"Attaboy! Now go!"

He sees Joann with Mélanie in her arms and then notices Jacques running towards him. Gilles wraps his arms around him and lifts him into the air and then carries in his arms. Together they go towards their car and drive back to their hotel. During the way to the hotel, Jacques and Mélanie force their parents to stop at a shop because a celebration of such an event needs a cake, so they need to do so to calm the kids down. 

At the hotel they celebrate the podium, eat the cake and make a lot of fun together. After the kids go to sleep, in the living room stays only Gilles and Joann. There is a silence for a while and nothing else. After few moments this peaceful silence is broken apart by Joann's words, "When I was watching, I was so afraid, afraid that you will hurt yourself and leave me alone, leave our kids alone. Sometimes it's literally terrifying to watch you racing," she looks at Gilles who is clearly thinking about her words, "why do you drive so hard? Don't you feel any fear?"

"Of course I do, I was scared behind that steering wheel every single time I got into the car because I know that the way I drive is dangerous, very dangerous actually!"

"Then why do you drive so agressively?"

"Because I need to, you see, if not for my will and my driving style, I have nothing. That's my thing, driving more dangerously, more crazy and more on the edge than anyone else, to make them be the ones who lift the foot out of the throttle. That's what makes me unique. Without it, I'm not a winner, I'm average, mediocore."

"For me you will always be the winner."

"I know. Being your winner is the best victory I can imagine," he sighs and continues to talk: "but even thought I appreciate it the most, such a victory won't pay a rent."

She wraps her arm around him and kisses his cheek, "Then don't focus on the rent and focus on me... please!"

A romantic energy fills the room in an act I don't want to describe really. An act celebrating, underlining and enhancing all the emotions and mood from all the events of the day.

After this, they are laying next to each other, letting that peaceful silence sound again. However this time it's Gilles that breaks it, "When I think about it, it's bizarre."

"What is bizarre? Don't you dare mean what has just happened!" She chuckles while saying that.

"Oh, of course not," chuckles as well, "the parallel is bizarre! Few hours ago a reporter asked me the same question, if I do even feel fear. But she didn't do it out of honesty, she did it out of greed. She wanted to gain as much money from the interview with me as she could. She even tried to force me into saying bad and controversial things, I was just trying to help her by that interview and she meant to take advantage of me to gain readers' attention. That's what I'm scared of, that's my fear I feel. That people will just be taking advantage of me, out of my good nature. At least I hope my nature is good."

"Don't even ask such a question, your nature is the best it can be. Well almost the best but at least the life isn't boring with you." 

"The reporter mentioned that a lot of racing drivers don't have a good nature and are selfish. Don't ever let me become like them. Will you do that for me, please?"

"You want me to fulfill such a request for you? Well, it won't be easy but I think that I can do it for you." Smiles and places her gentle hand on his cheek.

"Thanks. I'm scared of future, you can't predict it. When I'm chasing someone down during the race and I'm really close to him, it's the scariest thing. What if he does something unpredictable? You don't have time to react and in the worst scenarios... you can die," looks at her and places his hand gently on her soft cheek, "but then I look into the auditorium and the only thing I think of is you and I suddenly know everything, I predict the future, I know how to avoid even the worst accidents. I know the most important thing... that in the end I'll have you beside me."

"Oh, that's sweet, Gilles. Almost made me cry honestly."

"Thanks for always being here for me, Joann."

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