Climbing back into the van, I decided to celebrate with another coffee. This time, I'd drink the caramel latte while it was hot, instead of puking my guts up after having watched a gory video of myself dying. Didn't need to revisit that one, thank you very much. But what to do with the rest of my day? It was right around lunch time and I could eat something light. I also wanted to do a bit more shopping at some point.
I needed a bit more variety in my wardrobe, I realized. What I had worked, but I could branch out a little, especially with this date coming up soon. Also, I should probably do something about all of my old clothes, so I could clean the van up. Shit, what happens if I bring her back here at the end of the date? Wait, am I bringing her back here? I guess so, right? I'm the guy, after all. The guy brings the girl back to his place? Or does he drop her off at her place and she invites him in? FUCK. What do I do? Maybe it won't come to that. This is just a first date, there's no expectations of anyone getting invited anywhere. Just have fun, be calm, act natural.
Act natural? Are you fucking stupid? Natural was a 6'0" male computer nerd that fell off a mountain and died. What the fuck do you know about acting natural?
Fair point. You know what, it's not worth worrying about right now. I'm sure she'll realize you're boring and dump you.
I took a deep breath, blowing it out in a dramatic sigh, as I slumped into my chair. I needed to get hair ties. Probably female deodorant. More clothes. Okay, one thing at a time...
Retrieving my phone from my leggings pocket, I tapped away at the screen for a bit before settling on my choices. I'd swing by a convenience store, picking up a few more of the basics, then I'd hit a bistro for lunch. After that, I'd swing back over to the Old Mill District and go shopping a bit more. Then ... I took a deep breath. One thing a time, Tim.
Nodding my head, I climbed up into the front seat of the van and set off. At the convenience store, I found myself overwhelmed by the array of choices. I had originally chosen my deodorant based on the "pick one at random and then use it until it gets discontinued" theory, but that didn't seem like the right choice. Instead, I spent nearly ten minutes walking back and forth, smelling the different choices before finally settling on one. I grabbed a large pack of hair ties, figuring buying in bulk was generally the easier solution, and then some shampoo and conditioner, since my previous buzz-cuts didn't really require much maintenance. A pack of razors for my legs. This is gonna be a lot of upkeep. Am I high maintenance?
I shook my head, I definitely wasn't high maintenance. Next door was a small bistro, so I quickly dropped my purchases in the van and walked in, grabbing an outdoor seat with a river view. The waitress came over quickly and I ordered a Caprese sandwich and another latte, happily munching on my meal. On a whim, I pulled out my phone and sent a text before my brain could issue instructions not to.
"Hey, hope work is calming down. Thinking of you!"
Oh no, am I clingy? I shouldn't send her any more texts until she texts back. What if I drive her away? SHIT!
I put the phone away and tried to focus on my meal, but suddenly everything turned to ash in my mouth. She was going to text back, right? I mean, she still liked me. Right? Fuck. Relationships are hard. Why did I try to do this? Let's go die a virgin in the woods again. So much easier. Suddenly, lunch wasn't fun anymore and I wanted to go. I paid, pouring the rest of the latte into a to go cup, and stood, my face grim as I strode back through the bistro and out to the parking lot.
Right as I approached the van, my phone binged and I stumbled in surprise, the unfamiliar buzz of an incoming text message against my thigh surprising me.
"Still crazy, SOO many customers. None as cute as you, though.
SHE STILL LIKES ME! I sagged against the side of the van, letting out a breath I hadn't realized I'd taken. Why was I torturing myself like this? I needed to calm the fuck down. Seriously, Tim. Get your shit together. Go shopping, don't even look at the phone until 5:59. Don't get tied up in that bullshit.
Oh, right. I did need to text her back though.
"6 works! You're too kind :blush:"
With that, I put the phone back in my leggings pocket and climbed into the van, settling into the swivel driver's seat. I drove back over to the Old Mill District, parking on the opposite side from the REI just to resist temptation. There were plenty of other stores to visit, I did not need to get anything else from REI, and it would be weird if she saw me. I'm not that clingy of a guy, okay? I can be cool about these things.
Sighing, I climbed out of the van and walked into the Kohl's. From my research, this seemed like a good "find a bunch of regular clothing" store, so it would suffice for now. I had a rough idea on a shopping list, but figured I'd also do at least a little of it from the seat of my pants as I went along. I grabbed a shopping cart this time, mentally acknowledging that I'd be buying enough stuff that I'd probably need more than a basket.
My goal was to buy things that looked a little more feminine. Not that I felt feminine. I was still a guy, despite the unnatural body. But some part of me yearned for more choices than hiking outfits, and so I might as well. Plus, I'd need stuff for the date.
My first stop was jeans, as I was the most comfortable with those. These would be exactly like the jeans I'd always worn, just a different size. Except, that ended up being not exactly true. Thank goodness the changing room had a bench, I had to lay down and wriggle my way into those fucking things. But when I was done, yum. My legs looked amazing in those skinny jeans. Also, yay for elastic waistbands. There's no way this would have been possible without modern materials sciences. So that's a purchase for sure.
I nearly head-butted the wall getting them back off, as I stumbled around like an idiot, but finally changed back into my leggings, adding two pairs of the skinny jeans to my cart. But while I was in the denim section, hmm. Before I knew it, I was adding both a denim mini-skirt as well as a split-front maxi skirt into my cart, whistling happily to myself as I pushed it off to the next area. Whoops? How did those get there?
From there, I circled by the tops and added a variety of blouses to my cart. Were they necessary? No. Was I even daring enough to wear all of them? No, but in a different color. Did I buy them anyway? Yes. From there, it was dresses. I got a few, and that's all you'll get from me. They were all practical, full-coverage garments. I promise.
Hah, not even I can say that with a straight face. Look, part of it is just wild fantasy at this point, okay? It's not like I have the courage to wear them, but by buying them, I can at least pretend - if only for a moment - that I'm the attractive and confident woman that I apparently look like.
Not that I'm trying to be a woman, to be clear. Despite appearances.
I thought it was important to call that out. Just so we're on the same page.
My last stop was shoes. I wasn't planning on getting much, but a pair of 'regular' sneakers might be nice to alternate with the hiking shoes, and then before I knew it, I was grabbing a pair of sandals that actually fit me, a pair of wedge heels, a pair of cute ankle boots, a pair of basic flats, and then a pair of calf-length boots. Oops.
By the time I pushed my overloaded cart to the checkout counter, I could barely see over it to register the surprise on the cashier's face as she took in the size of my haul.
All told, it was a little over a thousand dollars by the time I walked out of there, struggling to carry four massive bags back to my van. Hash tag worth it? I flung them inside onto my bed, promising to deal with them later, and instead used the opportunity to drive the van around Bend a little more, doing some exploration.
By the time the sun was setting, I'd parked a few miles away from town in an empty clearing, setting up my camp stove and a chair. I'd thrown on my new jeans, a tank top with one of my old body's flannel shirts wrapped around me, and the hiking shoes. Mountain House wasn't the most gourmet option, but it would work well enough for tonight. I leaned back, sighing deeply as I watched sparks floating up into the air, the fire's warmth pushing back against the evening's chill.
My phone rang and I nearly fell out of my chair in my scramble to retrieve it, answering on the second ring.
"Uh, hello?" Suave. Remember to be suave. That's how you're going to charm her.
"Hey Tiff, it's me!" Gwendolyn's cheerful voice echoed down the phone and I sat up straight, a broad smile on my face.
"Hey yourself!" I did not let a giggle escape my mouth. Anyone who says otherwise is lying.
"Uh huh. So what are you up to? How was your day?" Small talk. The old me would have found this the most excruciating conversa-
"It was so much fun! I grabbed coffee at a place near your work, then went and ordered a new bike for myself. It was something I'd been meaning to do for a while," Liar. But I'll allow it. "It's going to be the most gorgeous shade of purple. I'll have to show you at some point when it arrives. Might be a week or so."
"Oh? You're going to stick around that long? You made it sound like you were hopping around quickly. No attachments, nothing to chain you down."
"I don't mind being chained down, if it's for a good reason. And waiting for a bike counts." Wait, did that sentence come out wrong? I'm sure it's fine. "Besides, there's plenty of fun stuff to do in Bend, I haven't been here before and there's so much shopping available. But anyway, after the bike, I had lunch at a really cute place by the river, then yes, more shopping. I had to buy a few more outfits. Then I just sort of drove around and played tourist. But how about you? How was work?"
"Oh, work was boring. I mean, it was busy. Don't get me wrong on that, we had customers in and out all day, huge lines at the register, one of my coworkers called out sick but then my boss spotted him posting hiking videos on Instagram so we're pretty sure he just bailed on us. My feet are so sore after my shift."
"Aww, I'm sorry to hear that. Too bad you don't have anyone to massage your poor feet and help them feel better."
"Oh, are you offering? I could really use one, they feel sooooo sore." She played up her exhaustion, but sounded excited by the idea. I gulped.
"I mean, I'm not not offering, but I've never given anyone a foot massage, so it would probably be pretty bad. I don't think you'd want me learning on you."
"I'd be happy to teach you how to make me moan," she promised enthusiastically. "There's nothing wrong with being new at this."
I blushed, suddenly realizing that I wasn't sure we were talking about what I thought we were talking about anymore.
"Uhm..."
She laughed at me, "Too forward?"
I blushed, nodding, then realized that she couldn't see me. Instead, I changed the subject instead of replying. Like an adult. "So, what's your plan for tomorrow?"
"Oh, are you still interested? I wasn't sure if I had accidentally talked myself out of a date." Now she sounded coy, teasing me. I bit my lip, realizing I had to agree to this. Somehow, I was excited by being bullied into this. But that was probably just my nerves talking.
"I'm still interested," I admitted shyly, glancing at my shoes as if she was present and I was trying to avoid eye contact. "But you have to tell me what you're planning."
"Mmm, is that so? I don't want to spoil the whole thing, but I can tell you a little bit. We'll go to dinner first, then somewhere else. I won't tell you where, partially because I haven't picked the specific locations, but we'll go with casual attire, something you can move in. But don't look frumpy!" She playfully scolded me at the end there, and I stuck my tongue out.
"Okay, dressing extra frumpy, just for you. Maybe a bag on my head."
"You little brat, when I get my hands on you..." I shivered unconsciously, a thrill running through my body as I felt a heat building in my core. What was going on here? So, naturally, I kept teasing.
"Oh yeah? You'll do what with me?"
She growled. Like, actually, over the phone, growled at me. I nearly dropped the phone. Because I was scared. No, that was a lie. Because I laughed. No, that was also a lie. Sorry. Because suddenly my panties were fucking drenched and I didn't know what to do. There, honesty. I can do it. Sometimes. And so, in my state of extreme distress, my body betrayed me, as it seems to be doing more and more often.
A whimpering moan escaped my lips. You know, I've lived twenty three years (Yeah, and then you died) and had never heard the phrase "whimpering moan" before. But I can't think of any other words to describe the noise I made at that particular moment. And I'm pretty sure that Gwendolyn would have agreed it was an accurate depiction of the sound that came out of my throat.
"Good girl," she purred back over the phone, and somehow my panties got wetter. Holy shit, what was going on with me? Did I just pee myself?
"I, uh, I ..." I was not very suave in that moment, I'm afraid to admit. I could not find any words to speak. But I got rewarded by a rather throaty chuckle from my redheaded admirer.
"I can see that I'm going to have my hands full with you, Tiff," she warned me. "I'm very much looking forward to our date tomorrow. Let's plan on 6PM at the Casa Mexicano back at the Old Mill District, okay? I'll meet you out front."
"Sounds perfect," I finally managed, my voice a little hoarse. "I'm looking forward to it."
She chuckled, "So am I. And Tiff?" I made a noise over the phone. "No touching what's mine until I say so." Gwendolyn hung up before I could manage a reply.
What just happened? And why was I so fucking wet?
I dropped the phone onto the dirt beside me, biting my lip hard as I ground my thighs together, my hands bracing themselves on my thighs. Fuck. I was so damned horny, but she told me not to touch myself. How was she going to know if I did or not? Seriously, two days into living with a new body and I hadn't masturbated yet. And now she told me I can't? Every time I clench my thighs together, the lace is rubbing my clit like it's personally offended I'm ignoring it.
How was that fair? I'll have you know that my sex drive was so low in my last body that I'd go weeks, maybe up to a month, between needing to manually stroke one out, but suddenly being denied by that frustrating redhead was driving me insane and it was all I could fucking think about. Just shoving my pants down and figuring out exactly how this body was supposed to work.
But I had to do what I was told, right? FUCK. Somehow, I'm going to find a way to make Gwendolyn pay for this. With one last curse, I doused my fire and climbed into the van, locking everything up behind me. I wriggled out of my clothing, including the drenched pair of lace panties. I took a tentative sniff, determined it wasn't urine, and touched my tongue to it, curious what the liquid was.
That was a mistake, I immediately realized, because now I was suddenly even hornier as I tasted my own juices. I climbed into bed, shivering with the cold (no, just kidding, with an absolutely unquenched arousal), and wrapped myself around a pillow, fighting to resist temptation. I tossed and turned for hours, drifting to sleep only to find myself humping the pillow, before finally I was too exhausted to remain awake anymore.