Chapter 34: Safe Evacuation (Not Really That Safe)
"You guys weren't planning on handing the rope over either!"
"Exactly! But we don't hit kids!"
"He's so mean~"
"Scum!"
Nami delivered the final verdict.
Luo Lin: …What the hell?!
He turned pitifully to Robin.
"(´༎ຶლ༎ຶ`) Robin-baby~!"
Robin almost burst out laughing but forced herself to look away.
Luo Lin instantly went full emo, shoulders drooping, and trudged back to the Devil. He collapsed face-down onto the beach chair like a soldier who'd taken a fatal bullet.
"Hey! Don't ignore me, you bastards!"
Henzo, still holding the kid hostage, was furious at being treated like background noise.
One angry roar later, everyone's attention snapped back to him.
"Oh? And?" Zoro asked calmly, arms crossed, looking completely unbothered.
Henzo suddenly panicked—gun up, gun down, totally lost.
"Having trouble deciding? Let me help."
Zoro drew Wadō Ichimonji.
"Thirty-Six Pound Phoenix!"
"Wait—are you seriously okay with this kid dying?!"
Henzo freaked out, dropped the child, and dove into the sea.
(Zoro's slash had been aimed miles off target—just intimidation.)
"We're… pirates," Zoro said coolly. "Doesn't matter how young they are—if they're pirates and they threatened my nakama with a knife, age isn't an excuse. You choose this life, you accept you might die any second."
Nami happily smacked the back of his head.
"Nice one, Zoro!"
Luo Lin's whole body turned black-lined.
When he hits someone = "Nice one!" When I hit someone = "Scum!" Sure, whatever makes you happy.
World, please end.
Problem solved. Nami tied the lifeline to the Merry's figurehead and steered them out.
Soon they escaped the rainbow mist.
Usopp, being the softie he is, brought the kids along too.
But the moment they cleared the mist—the kids suddenly vanished.
As the Merry neared the shore, they saw Chopper lying on the ground twitching, fur patchy and singed.
Sanji was still fighting, but his suit was covered in scorch marks.
"Sanji! Chopper! That bastard!"
Nami gritted her teeth.
Zoro grabbed his swords and charged.
"Hang in there, you shitty cook! Losing to trash like this would be embarrassing!"
"Three Sword Style — Dragon Twister!"
One spin and every minion went flying into the sky.
Mayor Wetton saw the Merry emerge and ignored both the beaten minions and his grandson electrocuting Sanji.
He went straight to Nami.
"What's inside?!"
"Nothing! Just an empty, silent wasteland!"
(Actually full of sunken ships and treasure—Nami just didn't want to share.)
Usopp thought: He wants the treasure? Perfect! Tell him the truth, then cut the rope while he's inside!
Great Captain Usopp's flawless revenge plan for frying Chopper!
"Hehehe… YAHAHAHAHA!"
Usopp cackled like a supervillain for a solid thirty seconds.
When he finally stopped, everyone was staring at him like he was insane.
"Cough! It's super complicated inside! Countless shipwrecks, priceless treasures everywhere—every single one a rare artifact!"
"USOPP!!!"
WHAM
Nami's fist created a smoking lump on his head.
"Why'd you tell him?! He's gonna take EVERYTHING!"
"Don't worry, Nami! He can't take it all! Great Captain Usopp guarantees it!"
His confidence stunned even Nami.
Mayor Wetton nodded, satisfied.
"Fifty years… my dream can finally come true! Lower the Rainbow Tower!"
BOOM!
The base exploded open. The steel tower collapsed onto the sea—perfectly intact—and began extending section by section straight into the mist!
Everyone's jaws dropped.
Usopp made a sound like he'd swallowed a frog.
Great Captain Usopp's plan—failed spectacularly.
"Usopp, look what you did! All the treasure—gone! I was planning to come back later!"
Nami delivered two more furious punches, then sat down in duck-pose, black lines all over.
Zoro and Sanji were still fighting Wetton's grandson and the remaining goons.
Wetton called a retreat and left.
Even the grandson (Lake) abandoned electrocuting Sanji and tried to flee.
"Get back here! I'm chopping you into pieces!"
Zoro, covered in burns, was not letting that slide.
Another slash.
Lake suddenly couldn't shock him anymore.
Robin's voice rang out.
"If it's electricity, just pull the plug. Why'd you keep getting shocked instead of cutting the cord?"
Zoro glanced behind Lake—yep, the armor was plugged into a wall socket.
Robin had already unplugged it with her powers.
Zoro: (̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿#)
Face completely dark, he slowly walked forward.
Lake, now powerless, backed away in terror.
"D-Don't! It was my grandpa's orders! Spare me!"
"One-Sword Style Iai — Lion's Song!"
Shing!
Zoro sheathed his blade behind Lake.
The armor split open. A diagonal gash from left shoulder to right hip appeared. Lake collapsed face-down in a pool of blood.
With Wetton's crew gone, the coast finally went quiet.
Sanji and Chopper recovered and boarded the ship.
"Huh? You left Luffy inside?"
"Yeah. Nami said he's definitely alive and fine, so we came out first."
Sanji wanted to argue, but… yeah, that sounded right.
"Pathetic, ero-cook. Losing to that garbage."
"WHAT'D YOU SAY, MOSS-HEAD?! Wanna fight?! You'd be barbecue without Robin-chwan's help!"
"I won. You lost."
"Damn you—prime rib!"
CLANG!
"Both of you—SHUT UP!"
Nami knocked their heads together.
Sanji instantly heart-eyes: "Yes! Angry Nami-swan is cute too~"
Nami sighed. Without her, this ship would fall apart.
"Alright, everyone. Luffy's not back yet. Let's just wait on the ship."
"OKAY!"
Everyone plopped down casually.
Robin hopped back to the Devil—she still had a sulking Luo Lin to comfort.
She gently crouched beside him.
He was still face-down on the beach chair.
"Luo Lin?"
Poke poke
No reaction.
Closer inspection—he was asleep.
Robin: ꐦ(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
She grabbed his ear and shook.
"Hng? Who's touching me? Believe I'll spank you?!"
He opened his eyes to Robin's perfect, dangerously sweet smile.
Luo Lin: …
"Robin-baby, why's your smile so scary? Must've woken up wrong. Five more minutes…"
He wiped drool and rolled over.
Robin's smile grew even sweeter. She slowly tightened her grip—and added Armament Haki.
"OW OW OW! I'M AWAKE! Totally awake! Robin-baby let go—my ear's gonna fall off!"
"You just said I looked scary?"
Luo Lin instantly serious:
"I said: which beautiful angel called me and I didn't hear? I'm not even human!"
"Heehee~ That's more like it!"
Robin let go, genuinely smiled, and lay down beside him.
Her plan to comfort him? Thrown straight to Windmill Village.
They hadn't even been lying there 18 minutes when—
BOOM BOOM BOOM!
A chain of explosions.
They sat up—the Rainbow Tower that had extended into the mist was blowing up, section by section.
Luo Lin glanced once and flopped back down.
Robin nudged him.
"You're not gonna check?"
"Why? Definitely Luffy's doing. If he can't handle this, he can just die here."
Robin thought about it—fair—and lay back down.
Laziness is contagious.
The Merry crew, meanwhile, freaked out.
"That explosion came from inside the mist!"
"Yeah!"
"Definitely Luffy!"
"Full speed ahead! Hard to port!"
The Merry turned toward the tower remains.
They arrived at the blast site—nothing but debris.
"Look! The rainbow mist is fading!"
Chopper spotted it first.
Everyone grew anxious—except Luo Lin.
"That idiot… he's not actually trapped, is he?!"
"When he gets back I'm beating him senseless! Always running off!"
Nami punched the railing in rage.
The mist finally vanished completely.
The crew slumped in despair.
Usopp immediately started packing to flee.
Luo Lin strolled over, saw Usopp ready to abandon ship, and thought: Bro, you Zhu Bajie? Trouble hits and you're running back to Gao Laozhuang?
Nami saw him and teared up.
"Luo Lin… Luffy he…"
"Relax. Trust your captain."
"But…"
"But what? Crying won't bring him back!"
Click click click!
Luo Lin whipped out a camera and rapid-fired photos of crying Nami.
"Oh ho ho~ Nami crying—rare sight! Gotta show Bellemere later!"
Nami: !!!
I'M GRIEVING AND YOU'RE DOING THIS?! DIE!
She swung.
Luo Lin dodged effortlessly.
"Nope! Can't hit me~ Hehe!"
Nami fumed, but everyone's mood actually lightened.
Sanji later sneaked up to Luo Lin.
"Big bro-in-law! Copy of those photos? Crying Nami-swan is cute too~"
Luo Lin's response:
"How could I sell out my little sister-from-another-mister?! …Name your price."
Deal struck in the shadows.
Moments after the shady transaction—
A swirling rainbow vortex appeared at the top of Ruruka Island's highest mountain, complete with lightning.
It was sucking stones upward—and spitting things out!
"AH↘WOO↗OH~~~!!"
A very Tarzan-like yell echoed.
Everyone looked up—a tiny black dot.
"What's that?"
"Too far!"
It got closer—Luffy, flying through the air for some reason.
"IT'S LUFFY!"
"He's back!"
"That idiot!! He's gonna land in the ocean! Turn the ship!"
Zoro cursed but panicked.
Luffy spotted the ship mid-flight.
"Yo! Guys! You're here!"
"We're here! Do you know how worried we were?!"
Nami half-yelled, half-cried.
"Sorry sorry! Coming in hot—Gum-Gum… Rocket!!"
Still airborne, he stretched an arm, grabbed the railing—
Zoro's eyes widened.
"Don't you dare—!"
CRASH!
Luffy plowed straight through Zoro and Sanji, slamming them into the main mast.
The mast snapped.
The falling mast crushed a stunned Chopper.
Boing Q!
Zoro and Sanji spat foam, out cold.
When they came to, Usopp was shaking Luffy by the collar.
"You broke the Merry again! I'm gonna flatten you!"
"Sorry!"
Zero sincerity.
Zoro, teeth grinding:
"One day I'm actually gonna cut this idiot…"
"Same. Let's beat him first."
Sanji cracked his knuckles.
Usopp wisely stepped aside.
Cue absolute chaos.
After the dust settled, Luffy—now with a pig head—was fixing the mast under Usopp's supervision.
Luo Lin grinned ear to ear: Click click click!
Black history secured
…
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