Location: Jueyun Karst, Liyue
Current Form: Human
Status: Speedrunning the questline, critiquing ancient engineering
The mountains of Jueyun Karst were steep, shrouded in mist, and filled with puzzles. For a normal person, climbing them was a spiritual journey. For the Traveler, it was a stamina management minigame.
For Raiden, it was a staircase.
He walked up the vertical cliff face, his feet glowing with a faint purple tactile magic (a variation of [Sticky Thread] he picked up from a spider he ate earlier).
"You know," Aether panted, clinging to a rock face while Paimon floated effortlessly beside him. "You could carry us."
"I could," Raiden agreed, looking down with his hands in his pockets. "But this builds character. Also, my back hurts from carrying the plot in Mondstadt."
"You're impossible!" Paimon stomped the air.
They reached the peak of Mt. Hulao. A majestic stag with glowing blue antlers stood there—Moon Carver.
"Travelers," the Stag boomed, his voice echoing like thunder. "To intrude upon the abode of the Adepti... state your purpose, or face the wrath of the—"
Moon Carver stopped mid-sentence. His golden eyes locked onto Raiden.
To Aether, Raiden looked like a guy in cool robes.
To Moon Carver, Raiden looked like a catastrophic event compressed into human shape. The [True Dragon's Haki] leaked out just enough to trigger the Stag's survival instincts.
Moon Carver's knees buckled. The great Adeptus lowered his head until his antlers touched the stone.
"Greetings... Venerable One," Moon Carver's voice trembled slightly. "One did not realize... a Sovereign walked among mortals."
Aether and Paimon dropped their jaws.
"Wait," Paimon pointed. "Why is he bowing to you? He was about to zap us!"
"Game recognizes game," Raiden smirked. He walked up to the stag and patted him between the antlers. "Relax, Moon Carver. We aren't here to take over. Just here to tell you that Rex Lapis is dead. Allegedly."
"Dead?!" Moon Carver jerked his head up. "Impossible! Who could kill the Prime of Adepti?"
"A very convincing corpse and a lot of drama," Raiden explained. "Go tell the others. We're going to visit the Bird Lady next."
They arrived at Mt. Aocang. A table was set with food offerings.
"Cloud Retainer is tricky," Paimon whispered. "She likes food."
"She likes gadgets," Raiden corrected.
He stepped forward to the barrier protecting the abode. Instead of solving the puzzle, Raiden placed his hand on the energy wall.
"Great Sage. Analyze Frequency. Override Security Protocol."
"Notice. Firewall breached. Opening Admin Access."
The barrier dissolved with a sad bloop sound.
A white crane with blue flourishes descended from the sky, looking indignant. Cloud Retainer.
"Who dares dismantle One's mechanisms?!" she squawked. "One spent three decades calibrating that matrix!"
"It was inefficient," Raiden said, walking past her into the abode. "You used a tri-loop energy flow when a direct parallel circuit would have saved you 40% mana consumption."
Cloud Retainer froze. She blinked. She trotted after him. "Inefficient? One is the greatest mechanic in Liyue! How dare—wait, parallel circuit? Explain."
Ten minutes later, Aether and Paimon were sitting at the stone table eating dumplings, completely ignored.
Raiden and Cloud Retainer were huddled over a blueprint of the Guizhong Ballista.
"You see," Raiden pointed, his finger glowing as he drew a holographic schematic (thanks to [Raphael]). "If you replace the wooden gears with a maglev suspension system using Electro crystals, the firing rate increases by 300%."
"Maglev..." Cloud Retainer murmured, her wings fluttering in excitement. "Magnetic levitation... One had theorized this, but the friction coefficient was too high! But with Electro... brilliant! You are arrogant, boy, but you are brilliant!"
"I know," Raiden grinned. "Now, about the 'Death of Rex Lapis'..."
"Oh, that," Cloud Retainer waved a wing dismissively. "If Morax is dead, One will simply descend upon Liyue Harbor and destroy the city to flush out the assassins."
"Whoa, calm down, Skynet," Raiden interjected. "The death is fake. It's a retirement plan."
Cloud Retainer paused. She looked at Raiden. "Retirement? Morax?"
"He's tired. He wants to drink tea and listen to opera. If you go down there and start laser-blasting the Qixing, you're going to ruin his vacation."
Cloud Retainer went silent. She paced back and forth. "That... does sound like something that old blockhead would do. Very well. One shall hold fire. For now."
She looked at Raiden. "You... you are not of this world. Your knowledge of mechanics rivals that of Guizhong."
"I just read the manual," Raiden shrugged. "Pleasure doing business with you, Cloud Retainer. Call me if you want to upgrade your Supreme Cuisine Machine to have a WiFi connection."
"Wifi?"
"Don't worry about it."
Having speedrun the Adepti questline (and eaten a few Cor Lapis rocks for a snack on the way down), the group returned to Liyue Harbor.
The Millelith were still on high alert.
"There they are! The suspects!" A sergeant pointed at Aether.
"Run!" Paimon shrieked.
Before they could move, two daggers made of Hydro energy shot past them, knocking the spears out of the guards' hands.
A young man with ginger hair, a red mask, and a gray suit landed in front of them. He smiled, charming and dangerous.
Tartaglia (Childe). The 11th Fatui Harbinger.
"Hold your fire, gentlemen!" Childe laughed. "These tourists are with me."
The guards hesitated. "Lord Harbinger... but the Qixing..."
"I'll handle it," Childe waved them off. He turned to Aether and Raiden. "You guys look like you're in a pinch. Come with me."
They ducked into the Northland Bank.
"Phew," Childe wiped his brow. "That was close. I'm Childe. Fatui Harbinger. Don't worry, I'm one of the nice ones."
Aether looked skeptical. Paimon hid behind Raiden.
Raiden, however, looked at Childe like he was looking at a walking ATM.
"Analysis. Subject: Ajax (Tartaglia). Threat Level: High (Battle Maniac). Financial Status: Unlimited."
"Childe," Raiden stepped forward, shaking his hand firmly. "Nice to meet you. I heard you like fighting and spending money."
Childe blinked, surprised by the grip strength. "I... yes? To both?"
"Perfect," Raiden patted his shoulder. "We're going to be best friends. By the way, your Hydro construct technique is sloppy. You're wasting energy on the form. Focus on the flow."
Childe's eyes narrowed, his smile turning sharp. "Oh? A critic? You feel strong. Very strong. Care to spar?"
"Maybe later," Raiden said. "Right now, we need information."
"Straight to business," Childe laughed. "Fine. The Qixing have hidden the Exuvia (Rex Lapis's body). But there is someone who can help you find it. A consultant from the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor."
"Let me guess," Raiden said. "Tall, handsome, knows everything about rocks, forgets his wallet?"
Childe paused. "Have you met him?"
"I have a feeling," Raiden winked.
That night, Childe arranged a dinner.
Raiden, Aether, and Paimon sat at the round table. The door opened.
Zhongli entered. He walked with the grace of a mountain moving through a valley.
"I apologize for the delay," Zhongli said, his voice deep and calming like tectonic plates shifting. "I was admiring a particularly interesting glaze lily."
"Mr. Zhongli!" Childe waved. "Meet the travelers I told you about. And... their associate."
Zhongli looked at Aether. Then he looked at Raiden.
The two dragons locked eyes.
Zhongli (Morax) saw: A True Dragon from the Void, immune to erosion, carrying the scent of the Abyss and the Stars, currently eating a breadstick.
Raiden saw: A retired God pretending to be a broke consultant.
"A pleasure," Zhongli said, sitting down. He didn't expose Raiden. Raiden didn't expose him. It was a silent pact of 'I won't tell if you won't.'
"So," Raiden broke the silence. "We need to plan a funeral for a God. I assume you want the best materials?"
"Indeed," Zhongli nodded. "Only the finest Noctilucous Jade will suffice."
"And who is paying?" Paimon asked.
Zhongli and Raiden simultaneously pointed at Childe.
"Me?" Childe pointed at himself.
"You're the wallet, Ed Sheeran," Raiden said, grabbing the menu. "Now, waiter! I'll have everything on page one. And bring a bottle of Osmanthus Wine. I want to see if it tastes the same as he remembers."
Zhongli froze. He looked at Raiden sharply.
Raiden just smirked and took a bite of a dumpling. Gotcha.