"You're home early," Mum looked surprised when I walked in. "How was school?"
"It was okay," I told her, and then I stopped there.
For the past five days, my mum would ask me, "How was school?"
And I would answer, "It was okay. I finished all my homework."
Today was different—I hadn't even started my homework, and I still had reading and printouts to do for Lycan Study Group tomorrow.
I groaned, "I've got lots of homework."
"That's new." My mum laughed and went back to her cooking.
I grabbed an apple and headed to my room, kicking Savy's door as I passed. She yelled something I couldn't make out over her music, but I heard her cackling afterward, so she probably yelled something funny. Too bad I didn't catch it.
But that made me smile. My smile grew wider when I realised that it was Friday. Thank goddess it's Friday! I didn't have to finish my school homework today, just the Lycan Study Group stuff, which I could probably finish tonight.
Since I had time to spare after all, I picked up the phone to call Madison. I hadn't called her since Monday with all that's been going on. I would ask her how her first week went.
Mad: Hello?
Me: Hi Madison, it's me, Sam. Free for a chat?
Mad: (Sighing) Why are you calling again?
Me: Just wondering how your first week went.
Mad: Can you stop calling me for nothing? You know, you've been at your new school for a week now. You should go and make new friends there. Stop calling me.
Me: ...Yeah. Okay.
Mad: I'm hanging up now. Bye.
Me: Bye.
I hung up and sank onto my bed. Where did that come from? On Monday, she'd sounded happy to chat and took extra care to explain to me who went to which school and sounded really excited about trying out for the marching band at her high school.
And I did have new friends! Lots of them! And all my pack friends too… So what was up with her? Just because I didn't talk about them didn't mean they didn't exist. I was only calling because she was my best friend.
I guess we weren't best friends anymore. At this point, I had to admit, it was hard to write all this.
It's one thing to write about stupid boys. Stupid boys don't hurt like this. I guess it's a matter of expectations. I didn't expect anything from stupid boys. It's another thing when it was my best friend.
What happened to best friends forever? I flopped back on my bed, stared at the ceiling, feeling a little numbness where my heart should be.
I wondered what I did wrong. Was it something I said? I wondered what had changed for Madison. I wondered if she met new friends. I wondered if she made it into the band.
It hurt. But I won't call her back. I won't call her ever. I won't be weak like that. Atm, I already felt so pathetic that it was disgusting. I was hurt. Did Alphas ever get hurt? Apparently.
So I got up and went for a shower, washing away the smells of the day and the secret tears of break-up. Madison's words kept replaying in my head. "Go and make new friends there. Stop calling me."
I HAD LOTS OF FRIENDS!
We were desk mates and best friends for two years! TWO YEARS! She was the one who said we were best friends first. She was the one who fought with Una. She…
I will never call her again. It's over.
It's just a middle school best friend, I tried reasoning to myself.
You're the Alpha, deal with it! I tried giving myself an internal pep talk.
Goddess, I was so drama! It wasn't like my mate rejected me. Lol.
But I suppose big break-up, small break-up, something gets broken.
So now you see me. This is the me I didn't want anyone else to see.
I was the Alpha. Alphas got hurt. The only difference was that Alphas got up again. And I will keep getting up. Alphas always got up—to fight again, to love again, to live again.
I got out of the shower in time for dinner. Dad was home, and Mum made salmon with mash and broccoli drizzled with butter.
She always made nicer food when Dad was home. When he wasn't, we ate canned soup and hotdogs—which Savy and I liked too. So either way, a win.
I piled potatoes on my plate, stirred in extra butter, and drizzled sauce over everything.
"Is something wrong, Sam?" Mum asked.
"Nothing," I mumbled. "Madison just broke up with me. That's all."
I had meant "that's all." It was over. I had just spent the whole hour before this an emotional wreck and was not about to repeat the performance at the dinner table in front of my entire family.
But… yes, I hate this word too, but maybe it was because the wounds were still fresh. It had cut deep, even though I wouldn't say it was critical. But when I said the words "that's all," my voice cracked. And once exposed, the tears started all over again.
I pretty much cried over my dinner. I think the only thing that proved I would be alright was that I was still shovelling food in my mouth between sobs.
All things considered, my family took it rather well. They let me re-enact the phone call, bawl, and rant. Every now and then, one of them would interrupt to clarify a point or agree with my statement.
Otherwise, my family calmly ate and took my very pathetic meltdown in their stride.
By the end of dinner, the storm had finally quietened. My mum tsked and shook her head. "I can't believe she'd say something like that."
"It wasn't like I called her every day. And it wasn't like I didn't have other friends." By now, the hurt had transformed into indignation, and although I was repeating the same lines, I did it quite huffily.
"I'm never calling her ever again!" I vowed for the umpteenth time.
"Forget her. I'm your real best friend anyway," Savy told me. "And I'll never break up with you."
"You can't!" I shot back. "We are sisters! You're stuck with me for life."
To my surprise, I was smiling.
My mum and Savy were like band-aids for the heart.
"You know," Dad cleared his throat a little, "we may choose our friends, but the goddess chooses our family."
"I know," I said. I'd heard it often enough, but usually when he was talking about mates. You know the talk… The moon goddess has already prepared a mate for you, so don't do stupid things with boys like fall in love or… oh.
"Dad?" I said. "Madison… she isn't a boy. She's just my friend from school."
"Oh," Dad said.
But later, when I was supposed to be doing homework in my room, I thought about what Dad said. It did put the break-up in perspective.
It hurt. She was my friend. I had expected more. But I can move on without her.
They say time heals all wounds. But nobody ever talked about the scars that remain. I'm gonna take this scar that Madison left as a reminder to expect less from others—less expectation, less disappointment, less hurt at the end of the day.