- Jong-in-ah, what a bad dream I had!
I stretch out my arms and feel them as heavy as boulders. I've slept poorly, my whole body aches, and I can't stop the tremors that run through me from head to toe. I struggle to open my eyes, so I bask in the warmth of the blanket, as if its warmth were enough to erase the nightmare.
I get no response, so I squint one eye to see if they've left me alone, asleep on the couch as usual, while everyone else has gone off to do something more interesting than listen to me. Yet I remember Jong-in being next to me...
The dim light shows me an unfamiliar place, so I open both eyes and try to orient myself. It's a minimal room, consisting of the large bed I'm lying on, a double-door wardrobe, a desk overflowing with colorful folders, and a slightly crooked painting of a garden with a myriad of colorful butterflies.
I sit up and try to take stock of the situation, but I don't have to concentrate too hard because a long-haired female figure appears in the doorway.
Shine.
So I wasn't dreaming!
I sigh deeply and focus on her.
Her outlines are blurry against the light, but something throbs around her—I don't know if it's light or darkness. The fact is, her presence strikes me violently, and I don't know if it's positive or negative.
- How are you, Jong-Hyun?
Her voice is low and nuanced, enough to send a shiver down my spine. What is it about this being that makes me react so suddenly?
I hug the blanket to my chest, as if trying to escape her gaze, but I think it's impossible. She's seen everything about me, both physically and emotionally. What's the point of being so modest now?
- A little tired, but good. Thanks... - I give her a puzzled look: - How can I call you?
She lets out a low laugh and shakes her head.
- I know your culture is full of declensions, suffixes, and ceremonial names, but I'm just Shine. No last name.
- Shine... like my group, SHINee, which means 'receiving light.' Do you receive light, Shine?
She takes a step forward, revealing herself in all her beauty. She is beautiful, truly. How could I have feared her so much? She's taller than me, her very long hair touches her hips, and the simple clothes she's wearing—jeans and a light blue cotton shirt—give her an ethereal touch. Like those deep eyes she's looking at me.
"I don't receive light, I shine on my own," she says in a tone so natural it makes me smile.
"You shine? With what light, Shine?"
It's as if her words have broken down the barrier of communication between us, and suddenly I want to talk to her, get to know her.
"You're a nosy little person, Jihoo, but since you're going to be with me for a while, I'll show you!"
Apparently, she's learned the nickname my friends used to tease me with, but the way she pronounces it sounds more like a warm term of endearment, so I'll refrain from correcting her.
She suddenly opens her arms wide, and her appearance suddenly changes: her hair becomes countless black feathers, similar to a crow's, covering her head, arms, and back. Behind them, with a gentle movement, two long black wings appear. Her face returns to the way I remember it, pale, streaked with three crescent moons, giving her a warrior look. A point of light begins to appear around her, first subtle, then increasingly intense, enveloping her completely, forcing me to close my eyes and shield them with my hand.
"What the hell..." I exclaim, surprised.
"Not a devil, but a dark angel. Do you know the difference?"
The light suddenly disappears, and when I manage to look at her again, Shine is exactly as I saw her a few minutes ago: a woman.
"I..."
"I know, it's hard to get used to me like this, but it all happened so suddenly that I couldn't respect the time I usually take with my other cases."
"So I'm a 'case'?" I reply, sounding a little offended.
"Yes. And you shouldn't be upset, Jihoo, because it's the truth."
Suddenly, that nickname bothers me.
"Are you angry about the name or with me?" she asks with a small smile.
It seems he can read my mind! Ugh!
She shakes her head.
"You're so clear to me that I don't need to read your mind. You're... transparent. You're like a calm, clear mountain lake whose bottom I can see. Only down there, I see a lot of dark things disturbing your waters and the reflection."
I swallow, embarrassed. I've always been told I'm complicated, extroverted, a bit dark and ambiguous, while this angel finds me 'transparent.'
"I don't know if I like being transparent," I confess, throwing off the blanket and getting out of bed.
I stagger a little, but I manage to stand up straight, without making a fool of myself.
"I don't know what black angels are, except what I've read in books or the mythological figures that fill religions. But I've understood that intervening to help humans who want to end their lives, apparently. Come to me.
"No. Black angels are guardians, warriors, who support worthy humans who are about to face tests of great courage, such as wars, political battles, international challenges. They don't deal with suicides.
"So you're coming...?" I stop short and remember something: she wasn't expecting me when she intervened. "You... you thought I was someone else!"
She nods silently.
"It wasn't me you were supposed to save! So why didn't you let me go with that demon?"
Shine still doesn't respond, just watches me.
"Do you think I'm destined for something better? That I have to do something heroic? Well, you're wrong, I can't do anything at all! I've been a puppet for years of my life, trained to dance until I was exhausted, to fast even for days on end to keep my body lean and fit. Not to mention the long hours of singing, repeating, playing, until my hands and throat hurt... What's heroic about that?" I scream, letting out all my pain.
"What's heroic is that you fought every day like a warrior, bringing home your mental and physical health. But that has nothing to do with what my mission was, because I stopped being a dark angel a long time ago. I'm no longer a guardian, I'm a fallen angel.
"What? Then why are you here?
"I have to save my last two lives, my last 'two cases,' and then I can finally go back to being who I was before.
"What happened to you? Did you perhaps try to kill yourself?"
"Angels can't die, so they spend their time atoning for their sins, like mine. I did something worse than you, an act that made Kuroshi eager to welcome me into the Underworld, but the Supreme One wouldn't allow it."
"What did you do that was so bad that you deserved the Underworld?"
Shine sighs and stares into my eyes.
"I helped one of my charges die. It won't happen again!"
I feel frozen by her tone and her determination.
This woman won't let me go easily. And I don't know if I'm scared or thrilled.
No one has fought for me like this, no one ever!
How do you fight an angel? I'm afraid to ask!