Even If Hell Lies Ahead
As I walked along the mountain path I thought I'd never see again, I beheld a phantom.
It was me, still young. Walking alone on the mountain path in the dead of night. Occasionally glancing back to check if anyone was coming. Was it to escape, or did I want to be found? Seeing that, I realized it was the memory of that day which defined my life.
I was born in a rural farming village deep in the mountains of China. It was poor, with nothing to offer—not even electricity. My family had been farmers for generations, no better or worse off than the neighboring households.
One day in my early childhood, I was attacked by a youkai in the mountains. But I manifested a spear and defeated it. I don't know how, but perhaps sensing the spear's presence, agents from some organization came to my home. And my parents sold me. The image of my father's hands clutching that bundle of cash is still burned into my eyelids.
That very night, I ran away. Clinging to the baseless hope that everything would return to normal if I stayed away for a few days, I stuffed a meager amount of food into my pockets. ...And from then on, I began a life of unrelenting hardship. I got lost in the mountains, attacked by beasts. Targeted by human traffickers. Recruited by factions seeking the spear. Assaulted by various beings trying to seize it. I came to know just how small the world I'd lived in truly was.
Though it won't reach him, I call out to that small back.
"Hey, hell lies ahead."
But I found what I wanted.
---
I'm having that same dream again.
Amid the historic streets of Kyoto, an incongruously massive monster loomed. Not a scene from a kaiju movie, but reality. A dream, yet reality. One regret from the past.
A colossal body surpassing even a True Dragon. Seven heads resembling a lion, bear, leopard, dragon, and more, along with ten horns. It leaned forward like a primate, sprouting four thick arms, its two legs even thicker than the arms. Its surface was covered in black fur, with scale-like hardened sections in a blood-red hue, and red horn-like protrusions emerging from various parts of its body. From its rear grew seven long, thick tails, each with distinct features.
The apocalyptic monster described in the Book of Revelation. The mightiest demonic beast said to bring down one-third of the stars from the sky on the promised day. Anyone with even a modicum of knowledge would recognize its identity without needing to be told.
The gigantic monster was sealed to the earth by chains infused with divinity. Each time the beast moved, the chains creaked, showing signs of strain, but there was no indication of the beast being released. If anything, the chains tightened deeper around its body. As if the chains themselves possessed will, intent on protecting something precious.
"Information Room and Observatory, analysis of the Peeping Star complete."
Atop the keep of Nijo Castle, that humanoid figure with golden hair gazed upon the chained beast with a detached, omniscient look. Beside him, the former me, holding a spear, trembled under the miasma emanating from the beast. ...I stood next to him, able to do nothing but tremble.
"Hero Aspirant."
That's what he called me. I thought he'd keep calling me that forever.
He pointed at the demonic beast.
"That is us in this world. An aberration created by this world's Solomon through some means. ...Or perhaps a byproduct of something?"
If it's the same as you, then you can defeat it, right? I asked. But he shook his head.
"It is the same as us, yet entirely different. We were complete from the moment of our birth. Perfect beings with no weaknesses beyond the First Noble Phantasm, due to that completeness. But that is different. It g-r-o-w-s. Merely hurling the Third Noble Phantasm at it won't destroy it. ...That said, emitting such miasma suggests it grew by devouring something like the Chaos Tide? This world's Solomon seems deplorably mad."
Later, I learned that Trihexa's growth stemmed from factors beyond Solomon's intentions. But the difference wasn't significant. That man—our world's King of Magecraft—loved humanity's potential, yet never once forgave their immaturity.
To my question of whether there was no way to defeat that beast, he smiled faintly. It was the first time I'd seen such a gesture from him, so even in that situation, I was surprised.
"That's why we're currently polling all the Demon Gods. Wait a moment."
A mere few seconds of silence weighed heavily. All I could do was tremble. It wasn't the beast that terrified me. It was the resolve for death in his voice.
"Ah, I never imagined all the Demon God Pillars would affirm this choice. Another failure in world reconstruction. Another defeat for the Demon Gods. Another interruption in humanity's salvation. But it's something to be proud of. This time, it's our victory through retreat."
I couldn't bring myself to say, "Stop."
"Be proud, ××."
At that moment, he called me by my name. Not Hero Aspirant. Not Cao Cao. My name from before I manifested the spear, before I called myself "Cao Cao." It was absurd to even question how he knew it.
"You are the ones who once again defeated the Beast of Pity."
He—Goetia—was smiling. Without needing to recall, that was his first and last smile. His final and greatest encouragement.
"Holy Spear, Holy Grail, Holy Cross activation. First Noble Phantasm, Pseudo-Reenactment."
A power different from holy energy overflowed from my spear. I hadn't confirmed, but Valerie's Holy Grail and Lint's Holy Cross were likely the same.
"The time of parting has come; that which relinquishes the world—Ars Nova!"
I felt the power rapidly draining from the spear. At the same time, I sensed Goetia's presence fading gradually. Looking on, the body of the apocalyptic beast crumbled apart. Simultaneously, the chains seemed on the verge of breaking.
"Player substitution, mud doll. Leave the rest to me. ...Spend your final seconds with your family."
A massive magic circle appeared beneath the beast, and then it vanished. Transferred, no doubt to the Temple of Time. To use the Third Noble Phantasm without restraint. The chains, having lost their target, fell to the earth.
Realizing this, I dropped to my knees and wept. Just wept. I knew what had become of him, what that Noble Phantasm entailed. Ah, how powerless. How pathetic. As I lamented my own inadequacy, a voice from the spear echoed, as if to say it wasn't over yet.
"It's according to plan. Now I shall revive. The world will return to its proper form. —Not just Solomon. Under me, Moses, Jesus, Joshua, Arthur, Charlemagne, and even Adam will return. It's my victory. As if an apple farmer could defeat me!"
True despair began from there.
The scene fades to black.
There I was, writhing in agony.
My mind, body, and soul were being eroded by the "mud" used by Rizevim Livan Lucifer. An insurance policy prepared in case the King of Magecraft's summoning of Goetia failed. A curse crafted to forcibly birth a unique Evils of Humanity in this world.
Before me, on the verge of falling into beasthood, stood a girl with a resolute gaze.
"Treatment will commence now."
I wanted to tell her to abandon me. To discard me. Triage is basic in prioritizing treatment, so why bother saving someone like me?
"Before the people gathered here, I solemnly swear to God—"
After this, she—Asia Argento—would die. Killed by me.
The scene fades to black.
As far as the eye could see, hideous aberrations covered the land. The two-faced beasts recreated by the God of the Bible. In another world, ancient Mesopotamia was said to have been ravaged by these beasts. At this moment, similar scenes were unfolding across the world.
A white-haired man clad in golden armor raised a massive spear crackling with lightning.
"It goes without saying—but you are already heroes. Live on. And reclaim the world of man."
Back then, and even now, regret outweighs any joy.
The scene fades to black.
"How dare you... how dare you do that to Asia! That girl was so pitiful! If you hadn't killed her, she could have gone to school like normal! It's because of terrorists like you!"
A raging dragon was there. A devil I had to kill.
"If you guys hadn't been around, the Lahmu wouldn't have appeared! My dad and mom wouldn't have had to die!"
The Lahmu were born because of us in the Khaos Brigade. And to exterminate the Lahmu, the God of the Bible was revived. At least, that's the narrative within the Biblical factions. Rulers who refused to acknowledge it as a lie despite knowing, and fools who couldn't see through it.
"I'll never forgive you! Lend me your power, Oppai Dragon!"
If I'd managed to kill him in that battle, humanity might have held out a little longer.
The scene fades to black.
From a third-person view, it was nothing but grotesque: a fleshy pillar aberration fighting a female devil dressed in a magical girl cosplay. Behind the aberration stood several girls, as if it were protecting them from the female devil.
"Take this! Demon God Pillar, release the magical girls!"
Around this time, the Three Factions began hunting humans en masse. Targeting those with Sacred Gears, special bloodlines, or unique abilities. Forcibly reincarnating them as devils or angels regardless of their will. —A "charitable" effort to "protect" rare specimens before the old humanity was hunted to extinction by the Lahmu.
This female devil had come to "rescue" the magical girls abducted by the Demon God Pillar. Among the girls being saved were some who had once been reincarnated as devils but returned to human. Look, there are those raising their voices, saying they want to become devils again.
"Please, please stop, Glasya-Labolas-sama! We'll become devils again! So please, don't fight anymore! You don't need to get hurt any further!"
"No."
"Why—"
"If that happens, you'll cry again, won't you?"
Defeating this female devil wouldn't change their future. Another devil would just appear. Even if devils were dealt with, angels or fallen angels remained. And beyond that, the world was overrun with Lahmu. By then, humanity's future was as good as over.
Even so—that's precisely why he had no choice but to fight.
"Your futures must be bright ones...!"
In the next instant, Glasya-Labolas—the last Demon God Pillar—was obliterated by the magic of the devils who came to reinforce.
The scene fades to black.
"Look at this, Cao Cao."
Georg said that as he produced a coffin.
"I mentioned before that the "system" functions have stopped, but I took advantage of that. Anyone who forms a magical contract with this coffin will have their Sacred Gear stored in it upon death. The factors of holy swords or demonic swords will transfer similarly. I want you to have this."
I didn't think I could master weapons other than the spear, but having more options was good.
"The appearance is in bad taste? Haha, cut me some slack. It's in respect to the Professor."
The next day, he died. Probably thinking it was fine as long as someone could use the "mist" after his death. Don't screw with me.
Through the contract with the Counter Force of World Line "F," I've had the Sacred Gears of fallen comrades placed in the coffin, but I regret not wishing for something else.
The scene fades to black.
"Thanks!"
"It was fun."
"I'm grateful, Leader!"
It should be me thanking you.
"Please, live on."
"You, at least."
I wanted you all to live.
"You're really dense, you know."
In my arms, another comrade dies.
The scene fades to black.
"Grayfia, Milicass... Rias..."
Damn you, counterfeit Satan. I swing my spear.
At the end of the deadly battle, I claimed the heads of all four Great Satans. Exterminated the Lahmu. But there was no joy to be found. Only a handful of humanity remained. How were we supposed to prosper from that? I couldn't protect anything. Couldn't reclaim anything. I couldn't save the world.
In the moment my life was ending, I understood.
What I truly wanted wasn't the title of hero or praise as a Satan slayer. I just wanted comrades and family to share joy with.
The scene fades to black.
As an agent of the Counter Force, I killed humans. Killed humans. Killed humans.
I saw hell.
I destroyed what I wanted to protect. Stole what was precious. Warmth was lost because of me.
I never should have aimed to be a hero.
I never should have been born with the strongest spear.
The scene fades to black.
Before me, demanding to know who the utter fool was that summoned such a useless "Servant," stood a man smiling with fury in his eyes.
"I bet on a sliver of hope, but to think I could really summon a Heroic Spirit from this world."
I know this guy.
"Nice to meet you. I'm Solomon."
I know you, the root cause. But I have no business with you. Stop me from that day, let me atone for my sins.
Opening my eyes, I tell the one before me—who is myself.
"Hey, hell lies ahead."
Did you realize what you wanted?
---
At the summit of a high mountain near a Chinese farming village, two men faced each other. Or rather, two figures, but perhaps it should be described as one.
"So this is where you were."
A boy in a uniform overlaid with hanfu, and a youth wrapped in a black coat, carrying a coffin on his back.
"You figured it out well."
"It's about myself. I'd know whether I like it or not."
An immature one chasing ideals, and a janitor defeated by them.
"Right now, Goetia is burning the Underworld."
"Is that so?"
"I wanted to go there too—but I was told to settle things here first."
It was tough shaking off Asia, said Cao Cao.
Gazing at the sky, Archer declares.
"In the timeline, this day was when Asia should have died."
"...Is that so?"
"To save me from being swallowed by the mud. As a result, I went berserk and..."
Even so, she freed me, Archer says with self-mockery. Seeing that, Cao Cao feels a mix of emotions. It's a possible version of himself. He can't feel nothing.
"What about Issei Hyoudou?"
"He's settling his own score."
"Is that so?"
From Archer's perspective, it's an incomprehensible situation. That guy, on this side.
"I hate that guy. Not just my comrades—billions of humans died because of him. And on top of that, he claimed it was our fault. Well, failing to protect humanity is my responsibility, so maybe he had a point."
"Is that so? For me—for us—we protected them."
"The battle isn't over yet."
"That's why we'll protect them. For Siegfried and the other fallen comrades too."
Even though they're the same person, from the same world, what made the difference? What was the turning point? A question beyond humans and Heroic Spirits without a god's perspective.
"Even so, you shouldn't become a hero. You have no qualification to be one. You should have known that from the start. ...No, you were made to understand it on that day."
"That day?"
With too many possibilities in mind, Cao Cao doesn't click. Archer hammers it home.
"You remember it well yourself. The day you first met the teacher... Florence Nightingale. And the words spoken to you, who lived as a clown tempted by the spear's power."
Cao Cao's face twitches.
"Shut up."
"Yes, that's right. You couldn't forget. You can't forget. If you'd acknowledged those words back then, you wouldn't have ended up like this!"
"Shut up!"
But Archer doesn't stop.
"Come on, remember and kneel like that time. Face the reality of being told, 'Isn't Cao Cao's name value a bit lacking to gather heroes from around the world?'"
"Shut uuuuuup!"
Cao Cao screams. Not just recalling that scene, but the fact that his future self remembers it—vividly—is utterly hateful.
"That's right, why are you still using that name—'Cao Cao'? I'll give you credit for discarding the spear. But what you should have discarded was that meaningless bloodline. Did you want to be like your ancestor 'Cao Cao,' or like Ritsuka Fujimaru? In the end, we who can only imitate others' names and feats—"
Couldn't even become ourselves.
***
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