Roxy felt she could completely explain why she did what she did that night.
First, although Roxy looked like she was only thirteen or fourteen, she was actually thirty-eight years old because of her race.
As an actual adult, it's reasonable to do things to relieve feelings when you're lonely at night, right?
Plus, Paul and Zenith were so passionate every night. Rudeus and Shirou on the first floor were fine, but Roxy on the second floor heard their intense sounds almost every night. Even the most level-headed person would lose control a little after being bothered like that.
Although Roxy was an adult, she rarely experienced things like that because she looked so young. She was actually curious about it herself...
In short, Roxy thought it was completely reasonable and without fault that she peeked at Paul and Zenith while doing that in the hallway that night.
However, even though she could find countless reasons to excuse herself, when Roxy found out that Shirou had seen her shameful behavior from beginning to end, she completely lost her mind.
If only she could just die...
Roxy felt a deep despair and wished it was all just an embarrassing dream.
But reality doesn't disappear just because you avoid it. When Roxy woke up, she even wanted to kill herself to escape the situation.
Luckily, Shirou didn't mention what happened that night, or even bring it up at all.
Although he clearly saw her bad behavior, Shirou seemed to be deliberately avoiding the topic because he was kind, and tried to act like things were normal.
Roxy was naturally very grateful to Shirou for this, and you could even say she was moved.
She naturally wanted to act normal too, and go back to their pure teacher-student relationship, like before.
But Roxy soon found, sadly, that she couldn't think of Shirou as just a regular student anymore.
Maybe it was the psychological change caused by him seeing her shameful behavior, or maybe Roxy had always been drawn to this overly talented boy...
After that, Roxy would feel a slight flutter in her heart whenever she was around Shirou. Even just seeing his face would make her heart beat faster.
Could this be that feeling?
Roxy didn't want to believe it, but she had to think about it.
She might be in love with Shirou.
She rarely had this feeling for the opposite sex in her long life, and had almost never looked up to any of the men around her. So, she thought she would never experience the love that girls often do.
But now, when facing her student, a boy who had just turned ten, she actually felt the same fluttery feeling as a teenage girl.
Roxy couldn't believe what a bad woman she was.
If Shirou knew that she was such a teacher without morals, he would surely be very disappointed in her, or even hate her for being such a shameless person.
Roxy felt a deep sense of shame, and from that day on, she tried her best to stay away from Shirou, avoiding any further contact with him as much as possible, and controlling her feelings.
This effort was very successful. Roxy only kept the basic classroom time for teaching Shirou magic. She kept her distance from him at all other times. That way, she could finally hold back the feelings in her heart, and control the feelings that shouldn't have been there at all.
Even though it made her feel very lonely and more and more lost, Roxy thought this was the best outcome.
As long as she could keep up the appearance of a teacher-student relationship, continue to teach this boy her magic, and help him, that was enough.
But all of this turned to nothing during that monster hunt.
During the monster hunt, Roxy was almost attacked by a monster. Luckily, Shirou acted quickly, drawing his bow and shooting all the monsters, saving her.
At that moment, Roxy felt like she was seeing something from a dream. Her heart was beating so fast it felt like it was going to burst out of her chest.
She spent the whole time holding back her heartbeat, and trying to control her feelings that were about to burst out, so she could finally stay calm, and not be overwhelmed by her love and longing.
Because of this, Roxy realized that she couldn't stay with Shirou anymore.
For both Shirou's sake and her own, their relationship was best ended here.
Roxy forced down the loneliness and sadness she couldn't explain, and on Shirou and Rudeus' birthday, she announced that she would give them a graduation test, ending her time as their home tutor.
She also wrote down all the knowledge she had, and all the skills and experience she could remember, and gave it to Shirou as a gift.
Even though she couldn't teach him these things by hand, she thought Shirou would be able to learn from the notes and become a talented magician who wasn't limited by talent.
The night before the graduation test, Roxy couldn't sleep all night.
Every day that had passed felt like a chain, wanting to tie her down here. She truly felt sad and regretful, and didn't want to leave the village.
But Roxy overcame her feelings and firmly believed that her choice was the right one.
The next morning, she got up early and went out, ready to take Shirou and Rudeus outside the village for their graduation test.
"It's a long way, you two get on the horse."
Roxy led her beloved horse, Caravaggio.
Shirou and Rudeus looked at each other, and then carefully got on the horse.
Since three people were riding together, Roxy had to control the horse. Rudeus sat in the front, Shirou in the middle, and Roxy sat in the back, holding the reins.
"Whoa..."
As the horse started to move, Shirou leaned back and looked scared.
Seeing his panicked look, Roxy couldn't help but laugh and said, "Shirou, you're afraid of horses? I didn't expect you to have something in common with kids your age."
"..."
Shirou didn't answer Roxy.
He just adjusted his posture nervously, his face a little red.
---
Read 55+ advanced chapters on patreon.com/yeyeqiu
Free member can read up to 4 advanced chapters