[Bennett: Barbara's expression is way too smug right now.]
[Rosaria: Didn't expect you to have such a… spicy side, little idol.]
[Barbara: Stop it—please stop! Uuuuh…]
[Diona: The public chat's full of creeps yelling "Step on me!", "Charge, Barbara!", "Legs for days!", "Fallen nun"—WAIT A SECOND… Dad, why are you in there too?!]
[La Signora: Hmph. Just a child. Cuteness is nothing compared to true womanly allure. (pushes chest forward)]
[Lumine: Bold of you to brag about sex appeal when censorship still exists.]
[Jean: Can we take this video down? I'll compensate the creator personally. @TheMishearingManiac]
[Amber: Acting Grand Master… he logged off already.]
[Klee: Klee wants to download it too… but Klee only gets 50 Mora a month… I'd have to save for ten months… (pokes fingers together)]
[Kaeya: Klee, if you act cute enough, Barbara might dance for you live.]
[Klee: Really?! (sparkling eyes)]
[Barbara: LIKE HECK I WOULD!]
[Keqing: This stream is getting absurd. At this rate every single one of us is gonna get roasted.]
[Yanfei: He's already parodied three Archons in two days. I'm almost scared to imagine his future plans.]
[Ningguang: A question worth contemplating. (taps jade pipe thoughtfully)]
[Beidou: Hah! Quit worrying. I, Beidou, stand tall—let him try and parody me!]
[Kazuha: Big Sister Beidou, fearless as always.]
[Gorou: I… I won't be next, right? Right…?]
[Eula: If he dares parody me, I'll hunt him to the ends of Teyvat.]
[Sayu: +1!]
[Noelle: I don't stand out much, so… I should be safe. Probably.]
[Ayaka: Everyone, please stay calm… these are meant to be light-hearted.]
[Collei: Yeah! And besides… there's a reward, right?]
[Paimon: You mean the million-Mora prize?!]
[Mona: Paimon, do you WANT me to stew you in a pot?!]
[Arataki Itto: Hahahaha! What's there to fear from fan-edits? If it comes with a prize—COUNT ME IN! I can't wait to see my turn!]
[Kuki Shinobu: Boss, take your medicine.]
[Arataki Itto: Didn't I just take that anti-allergy stuff?]
[Kuki Shinobu: That was for your skin. This one's for your brain.]
People across Teyvat were divided—some loved the livestream, some dreaded it.
But everyone shared one fear:
Being next.
One moment you're enjoying hotpot with friends, the next—you're immortalized in a meme spread across all of Teyvat.
Public humiliation before hundreds of millions?
A fate worse than death.
Now—
Mention Mona → People think of "Cow-and-Horse Disco."
Mention Azhdaha → They hear "Please, Keep Your Eyes on Me."
Mention Raiden Shogun →
They don't think "Eternity."
They think "can't cook" and "wife-face."
Xiangling?
Weapon Queen.
And poor, pious Barbara—Mondstadt's shining idol—
was now the universal target of unfiltered thirst.
If that isn't tragic, what is?
Everyone feared their turn would come, their lives forever marked by a meme.
Some swore they'd rather nuke the world than live with that shame.
Meanwhile—
Zhongli, Venti, Ningguang, Jean…
their concerns weren't just personal.
They were thinking about the cultural and political impact of this "global broadcast."
The common folk, however?
They didn't care that deeply.
They cared about three things:
Funny video.
2. Possible reward.
3. Barbara hot.
[Liyue LSP: Mondstadt's idol is a national treasure!]
[Mondstadt LSP: I devote my soul to Lady Barbara!]
[Fontaine LSP: Anyone want to immigrate to Mondstadt?]
[Inazuma LSP #1: Count me in!]
[Inazuma LSP #2: Barbara forever!]
[Snezhnaya LSP: I don't even need vodka anymore—Barbara alone keeps me warm!]
Wangshu Inn
Bai Hao leaned back, basking in the blissful sound of Mora pouring in like rain.
"Hah! As expected of Barba-toss.
She's even more profitable than the 'Everyone Show' memes."
He clicked his tongue in amazement.
Barbara's "Say So" dance had already exceeded 500 million Mora in sales.
Teyvat's degenerates…
their purchasing power was on par with Blue Star's LSPs.
If he kept dropping videos this spicy every day,
he really could build his Jade Chamber in a few months!
Of course, those extra spicy, equipment-dropping MMDs…
those stayed in his private folder.
Then he set "Xiangling Teaches Raiden Shogun to Cook" as a 100 Mora paid download.
Even if few bought it—
hey, mosquito legs are still meat.
As for the cursed Azhdaha video,
Bai Hao made it completely free to download and re-edit.
No ulterior motive.
He simply wanted—
"To promote cultural exchange and deepen understanding among the peoples of Teyvat."
Just one day later, the shares surpassed a hundred million.
A true celebration of humanity's darkest curiosities.
"Alright then…"
Bai Hao cracked his knuckles.
"It's time to test both the lucky and the doomed once again."
He opened his gacha interface, staring at the hundred million Primogems in his inventory.
After performing his usual ritual—
invoking the Spirit of Ziyin
and sacrificing Great Hilichurl Davi's lifespan—
He clicked—
Pull x10
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