Sofia
The morning sun spills into the room illuminating it. I flutter my eyes open at the feel of it coating my face.
I turn to the side, not quite ready to get up yet. My eyes land on his. Closed and likely a sign of how he won't be getting up soon. It's only then I realize there's a certain weight against my lower half – his hands.
His hands are wrapped around me – all of me. I can feel my face turn crimson at the sudden realization of where his hands are. I try prying them away but it's as if with the more I try the tighter his grip gets.
My skin gets increasingly hotter and my damn breathing gets shakier. But for some weird reason I don't panic like I normally would. Hell, I don't even mind it. The feeling is foreign, yes but it's not unacceptable.
That thought creeps in again, but like before I push it to the back of my mind then try releasing his grip once more.
It's a futile attempt really.
A knock on the door startles me and apparently him too.
His eyes flutter open slowly and I instinctively snap mine shut.
"Who is it?" he moans out sleepily.
"It's Daniel" the voice outside sounds annoyed
"What the hell do you want?" he is still half asleep pulling impossibly closer to him.
Don't move, I chant, don't fucking move!
"Just open the damn door already"
Stirring awake he gently releases one arm from around me. I can feel his, now open, eyes wander across my body trapped between his grasp. Every part of me is being worshipped by his gaze and it takes my all to keep my eyes shut.
Then suddenly his body goes tense and rigid as realization dawns on him.
He knows where he kept his hand
He releases his hold on me just as quickly as he realizes where it was he was holding – grabbing. The action is done with precision making sure to not wake me up with it.
It takes him awhile to calm his shaky breathing. He mutters a soft apology before pushing off the bed and striding to the door.
I exhale a breath I didn't even know I was holding in.
The sudden absence of his touch leaves me aching and has a question forming at the tip of my tongue – which I dare not mutter out loud.
Why don't I flinch when he comes near?
The sound of the door opening catches my attention. The voices are kept at a low tone probably an attempt to not wake me up.
A few minutes later I hear the door slam shut and the unmistakable sound of a frustrated sigh.
Xavier walks back to the edge of the bed, only this time he stops at the dresser. I can't make out facial expressions, with my eyes being clamped shut that is, but I can hear and I most definitely hear the jingle of car keys.
Where is he going to?
Not long after, I hear the door close with a slight thud.
My eyes fly open and I scurry off the bed.
"Phone....Phone. Where is my damn phone?"
Finding it under the pillow, I pull it out and hastily tap the screen.
"9:38? It's nine in the morning, where did he go so early?" I whisper to myself
He?
It can't only be him right? Daniel must have followed since he was the one who came banging on the door, right?
I'm not anywhere prepared to find out especially – I tug at my singlet – not in this. Without a second thought I make my way to the bathroom clutching the outfit I had picked out for today.
Even in the bath I can't help but think out loud. "He isn't alone right?"
With that thought in mind, my time spent in the bath is short – quick, brief – and nowhere close to relaxing.
Even while throwing on my clothes, the only thing running a marathon in my mind is – is he alone? No scratch that – am I alone?
I breathe in and out several times before slowly opening the bedroom door, bracing myself for an answer to my internal turmoil. Stepping out, I'm hit with the faint scent of waffles coming from downstairs.
Shit!
He is alone
I gulp down air and prepare my mind – heart, body – for what am about to face. I walk down the stairs with – what I hope is – confidence and turn towards the aroma coming from the kitchen.
Just as I'm about to enter the kitchen his voice leaves my foot hanging midair. Every hair on my body is standing. That false facade of confidence I had comes crumbling down at the sound of his voice.
"I thought I heard footsteps" he doesn't bother turning around. "Didn't think you'd be up this early".
I can almost picture the smile on his face. That same smile he'd wear whenever he was around me. That same smile he'd wear just for me. That warm innocent smile that makes my heart beat faster than ever.
He doesn't even throw me a glance, leaving me to stare at his back. To be honest it's better than staring at his face.
"Didn't think you'd be home, but here you are – home. Shocking really" my sarcastic retort has him finally sparing me a glance. But when those warm, green eyes meet mine I stumble backwards, almost falling down in the process. The air in my lungs doesn't seem nearly enough now, leaving me gasping for air.
Without missing a beat, I make my way to the stairs. I dash forward, desperation clinging to me like a coat. My heart is pounding loudly blocking out any sound I could hear –
"Not staying for breakfast?"
His parting words hit me – hard. I almost trip over myself. I fight the urge to revel in the familiar genuine tone he used to ask that question. Every word was laced in actual concern. Concern I am all too comfortable with.
I don't bother with a response and pay all my attention to climbing up these stairs.
With trembling legs, I run up the staircase nearly tripping, severally.
Shaky hands find the handle to the bedroom door and twist impatiently, not ready to linger outside it's confinement for any longer.
I close the bedroom door with a hurried but soft click, sliding my back down against the wood as if to help drop my increased pulse rate.
My heart is beating fast, threatening to fall out of my chest. My visions going blurry and I can't seem to function.
The moment those eyes landed on mine, something inside me snapped. A thread I had been clinging on to for such a long time.
The moment those green eyes landed on mine, realization dawned on me in its scariest form. I hadn't yet gotten over it.
The moment those green eyes met mine, I felt fear in the colour of green. My whole body seemed caught in the crossfire between fear and danger, every instinct screaming to run.
The moment those green eyes met mine, it saw right through me.
Those green eyes saw mine.
I carefully crawl towards the bed and climb up with more than little effort. Tears threaten to fall as I curl myself into a ball. My vision grew hazier by the moment.
I try steadying my breathing even though I know it's of no use. The damage has already been done.
It's almost laughable really. I'm having a panic attack because – I saw those green eyes, no, correction – I saw someone's eyes. I look someone in the eye without my glasses for the first time since and my whole body stops functioning.
I grab a nearby pillow and cuddle it for some warmth, fighting everything in me to keep my eyes from closing.
Dear God, please make it stop.