I sat at my desk with Polari sitting in my lap. Staring at my friends discussing women, I couldn't help dissociating because all of these conversations seemed pointless. Polari grabbed me by my neck and pulled me close to her lips, staring me in the eyes. "Why don't you want to talk about woman John? They're so beautiful." She said to me, "I don't know." I said. My friends turned to me and grabbed a hold of me. "Johnny, who do you think is the most beautiful girl in the school?" They stared at me eager for my answer.
I placed my index finger on my bottom lip and tilted my head. Rubbing my finger on the desk slowly. The most beautiful girl…beautiful person…to me. "Vyasa." The boys all looked in shock before yelling out. "AMBIKA!!!" One of them gave a rough chuckle while holding onto his stomach before standing up and wiping a tear. "We said girl not doll dude." I looked back at Polari and stared her in the eye. Before hearing one of the boys walking up to Ambika. He slammed his hand on her desk and grinned at her. "Hey, Ambika looks like Johnny has a crush on you." She didn't glance at him, she just continued studying.
Polari grabbed onto my clothes tightly and clenched her teeth. "ACKNOWLEDGE ME!" Suddenly Ambika turned around with the smirk of a corpse, her lips beginning to dry up and her pale white skin began to become covered with dirt. Her beautiful black hair started showing little streaks of white hair, and her indifferent look began to look…human. She stood up and walked up to me slowly. Everybody stared in shock as the indifferent doll finally acknowledged something other than her own goals. She stared at Polari with a tired expression, grabbing onto my desk as she leaned onto it. Staring close into Polari's eyes, her lips caressing against Polari's. "Polari, I see you." Everybody in class stared in awe as this woman who never spoke a word to anybody but the person who resembled her acknowledged somebody only she could see. She kept looking into Polari's eyes as she moved her lips to speak what witnesses could only label as art. "Johnny, We all delude ourselves into seeing the unseeable." Her reflection crying inside of Polari's eyes. "But what I see is myself."
She grabbed Polari's head and pushed it down on the desk. "What do you see Johnny?" I stared into her distant eyes that stared directly into my soul. Like it was the first time she had ever stopped to look at those around her. "I…I…" I stuttered before she placed her gentle fingers on my lips. "Johnny, what do you think of me?" I stared into her eyes for a good minute before finally answering. My teeth trembled and my hands shook with intensity, I grabbed her hand and moved it away from my lips. "You're the perfect person. Talent so vast that everything is effortless to you. an annoying bitch, who thinks too highly of herself." I said with my eyes closed preparing to be hit.
But the impact that she was about to cause on my body was unpredictable, as she tangled her fingers with mine and placed it on her cheek. "Johnny, do you wanna hear a short story?" She didn't even wait for my answer as she stared at me intensely as I struggled to keep my eyes closed. "There was a writer, a genius of every genre. He wrote to represent aspects of himself that he couldn't tell in person without being obnoxious. As he didn't yearn for attention, fame, riches, or even recognition—but to be understood. He continued to write and write not looking anywhere but his craft, showing the world what ran through his chaotic mind. But what came from this constant dissection of his mind came the loneliness of awareness. So he read a book, but couldn't comprehend it. "What was the point of this book?" "What is the message?" No matter how hard he tried he would fail and go back to writing books about his mind."
Suddenly the story stopped before she continued "So Johnny…" She placed her forehead on mine and as everybody melted into black goo and filled up the classroom she continued to look at me softly. And pulled me closely, my chest against hers. "I want you to understand me Johnny."