I woke up this morning determined to prove one thing:
Yesterday was a fluke.I am not some walking chemical catastrophe.
Sure, I accidentally invented Hydrogen.Sure, it set a priest on fire.Sure, the goddess fled the scene like she'd committed tax fraud.
BUT THAT WAS YESTERDAY.
Today, I will be normal.
…or at least "less scientifically volatile."
The floating Quest window that has been haunting me since the courtroom oxygen incident shimmered at the edge of my vision:
[Quest: Control Your Own Existence Before You Explode It Again]Reward: Survival]
Yeah, yeah. Very funny, System. You should do stand-up.
I extended my palm, inhaled deeply, and whispered, "Void Synthesis… Hydrogen."
Nothing.
For once, nothing exploded, burned, resurrected, or started glowing in a suspiciously divine manner.
"Wait… am I getting better?" I whispered.
Then I sneezed.
And at the exact moment the sneeze left my face, a tiny silvery-pink orb bloomed on my palm.
[Element Created: Helium][Rarity: Why… Just Why]
Helium.
I MADE HELIUM.
This didn't seem dangerous. Helium was harmless, right?Kids inhaled it to squeak like chipmunks. Balloons used it. This was fine! This was safe!
My relieved smile lasted exactly 0.3 seconds.
Because I suddenly felt light.
As in—my feet detached from the ground.
I looked down and shrieked, "NO NO NO NO NO—NOT AGAIN!"
Villagers turned. Saw me rising. Dropped their baskets of vegetables like I was some kind of divine UFO sighting.
"M-Master Voidwalker is ascending!?" one shouted.
"No! I'm accidentally floating! I don't even have wings!" I yelled back.
But I kept drifting skyward like a balloon that escaped a toddler.
At about 20 feet up, a new popup chimed:
[Warning: Mana Density Imbalance][You Are Now Classified As: Lighter Than Your Own Plotline]
Ha. Ha. So funny, System.
I flailed my arms, which somehow made me spin in slow upward spirals, like a confused, screaming helicopter.
Below, villagers knelt.
"ALL HAIL THE AIR GOD!"
"GET OFF YOUR KNEES!" I screamed. "I AM NOT EVEN A BREEZE!"
At around cloud-level altitude (I swear a bird laughed at me), I had no choice but to experiment mid-panic.
"Okay… mana density… maybe if I push mana downward…?"
I forced mana into my feet.
Instantly, my descent began.
"Oh thank god—"
I accelerated.
"WAIT, NOT THAT FAST—SLOW DOWN—SLOW DOWN YOU LITERAL FALLING IDIOT—"
The ground rushed toward me.
Another popup appeared like a smug notification from the universe:
[Skill Unlocked: Vector Mana Control]Description: Congratulations! You learned how to not die by falling!Effect: Makes you look cool while hovering. (Coolness is not guaranteed.)
I hovered one inch above the cobblestone road.
One. Inch.
And then—I dropped.
On top of something large. And royal.
A trumpet blared.
A knight screamed.
Someone shouted, "THE VOID GOD HAS LANDED ON THE KING'S PARADE!"
I lifted my head.
The king stared at me from under my left elbow.
"…Sorry?" I squeaked.
[New Quest Unlocked: Survive Political Consequences]Difficulty: Fatal]
For the record, falling onto a king is not the life achievement I wanted.
Especially not face-first.
Especially not when he's mid–royal parade and surrounded by twenty armored knights who look like they haven't smiled since birth.
The king groaned under me.The royal crowd gasped.The System, being the absolute troll it is, chimed:
[Achievement Unlocked: Royal Impact]Description: Land on a monarch without being executed. (Status pending.)
I scrambled off His Majesty like I'd sat on a stove."I—I can explain!"
The king slowly rose, brushing off his velvet cloak with the expression of a man reconsidering every life decision that led to this moment.
"Explain… why a child descended from the heavens onto my spine?"
"I wasn't descending! I was falling! Because I created Helium! And then I floated! And then—"
The king blinked twice."Are you… intoxicated?"
Before I could answer, a commander rushed in, armor clanking dramatically.
"YOUR MAJESTY! Our scouts report an unknown air deity manifested above the town! Citizens described him as 'flailing, screaming, and spinning majestically.'"
Majestically?
FLAILING AND SCREAMING ≠ MAJESTIC.
I was about to correct him when another trumpeting popup flickered to life:
[Title Gained: The Airborne One]People now believe you are some kind of sky spirit.Responsibility: None (thank god)
The king squinted. "Boy… are you the deity?"
"No, sir."
"Are you sure?"
"Very sure."
"So you admit you are… an omen?"
"NO—wait—how did this conversation get worse?"
The king sighed like this was the fifth divine idiot he'd met this week.
"Escort him to the palace," he ordered.
"Wait, what!? I didn't do anything wrong!" I protested.
"What about colliding with royalty?" asked a knight.
"That was gravity's fault!"
"Gravity?" he repeated, eyes narrowing. "Is that the name of your weapon?"
Oh my god.
I am living among scientifically illiterate medieval people.
"Gravity is… uh… invisible. And everywhere. And pulls things down."(Like my dignity.)
The knights exchanged glances filled with suspicion.
"So it is a curse," one whispered.
"It's not a curse!"
"An unseen force only he can command…"
"I DON'T COMMAND IT—IT COMMANDS ME!"
They nodded like I'd just confessed to necromancy.
Great. Perfect. Fantastic. I love this world. Zero issues here.
With absolutely no regard for my protests, they surrounded me and marched me toward the towering palace gates.
[Quest Updated: Survive Political Consequences]New Objective: "Try Not to Create Any More Elements While Nervous."
Oh no.
Because right as we passed the palace garden, a single intrusive thought entered my mind.
What if I accidentally create more Helium while panicking?
My palms tingled.
Nonononono—
A tiny bubble formed.
Then another.
Then a dozen.
"WHAT ARE THOSE!?" yelled a knight.
"I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY—THEY'RE JUST HELIUM BALLOONS—DON'T TOUCH—DON'T—"
One knight poked a bubble.
It made a squeaky pweeeep noise and floated upward.
The knights screamed like children.
The king facepalmed.
And the System proudly declared:
[Skill Rank Up: Helium Manipulation → Level 2]Congratulations! You have mastered the art of ruining royal events.
And that, dear diary-universe, is how I got officially labeled:
"Suspicious Sky Sorcerer Under Supervision."