The next morning they arrived at the office together. No one found it strange, but being close together as if nothing happened was embarrassing. With an awkward goodbye each of them flew in the opposite direction. He got to his private office and sat down. They had spent two days entangled in each other's arms, but that morning without the drug effect and their desire placated they were lost on how to move on. Both had the same question in mind: What happens now?
She had no idea what had transpired inside of him. It wasn't only that he lost his virginity; he had given her his all, soul included.
I'm doomed. Just as Hariiel said, I will end up walking the same path as my master. And not in a good way, he thought and his hands trembled. He was an Angel who should be able to deal with almost anything, but he felt powerless right now. He didn't regret saving her life, but he wished he was a normal human capable of enjoying the thrill of his first time without the black cloud that seemed to be polluting his sight of the future.
There was a vow that Angels feared more than anything else—one they had no control over. It was called The Eternal Anchor. Angels were not supposed to be tainted by carnal desires. Some found themselves unable to resist loving or fancying someone so they succumbed to the feeling. It looked like a deal without consequences until they had sex with that person and The Eternal Anchor activated.
The Anchor had no immediate effect on the people involved unless the person the Angel chose left. Whether due to choice or a natural cause, the end was the same. If the Angel was abandoned the consequence of the Vow breaking was complete soul destruction.
When a human used the word soulmates it almost sounded like a joke to them. Human beings had no idea what it really meant. For Angels, the destruction of the bond with their soulmate was technically called Absum Inanis. It was an absolutely dark hole devoid of feelings so they started calling it the Void. The Angel would remain suffering for eternity without being able to feel a single thing—not happiness or sadness, joy or pleasure, anger or excitement.
Hariiel was one of those. He chose the wrong person to love and ended up suffering the Absum Inanis. Suddenly, he was alone and had nothing inside his heart. He could only show anger, not because he was truly feeling it, but because he remembered the sentiment. He knew he had to protect Locious and Crale, not because he could feel love for them, but because it was his duty.
Getting an Angel drunk was such a feat, as an Angel's metabolism didn't easily allow it. They had to spend hours drinking large amounts non-stop just to feel a little tipsy. Hariiel usually ended up needing to be picked up. He drank, not out of pleasure but because the void felt less shattering when he was drinking, as he could blame the numbness on the alcohol. Locious thought there were some days where he wasn't just drunk; the void was so insufferable that he ended up confusing drunkenness with the emptiness inside of him.
When he wasn't in the mood for alcohol or he was out of human money, he moved on to the next stage: the one-night stands. He would do it with anyone as long as they weren't messy or scandalous. He didn't want any complications in human form. He used sex as a way of coping with his own trauma. Sex, even for the few seconds it took to climax, made him feel a little something. At least that's what he told Locious once while being carried home after emptying a whole bar outside of town.
"Maybe I should just tell her the truth," Locious whispered, resting his palms on his forehead.
And what? Practically force her to stay? Out of duty she would do it. He rebuked himself and he wasn't wrong; he couldn't do that to her. It was his decision to have her body under his and her legs around his head, to find out her taste was like an addictive syrup. The picture alone could put him on his knees. The sounds that left her mouth rang in his ears as if he were still locked inside that room. He clenched his hands. He didn't regret doing it, but he was frightened of what the future was preparing for him.
"Locious!"
He jumped in his chair when someone shouted in his face, quickly moving his clenched fists away and see Mike in front of him.
"Are you well? I've been calling your name for five minutes and you never answered. Is there a problem?" Mike asked, worry present in every feature of his face. Locious stared at him; he hadn't even heard him coming, as if his senses were completely nullified.
He wasn't sure what to say. Was he okay? No. But he wasn't bad either. He couldn't feel completely bad because what they had done didn't feel wrong at all. Was there a problem? Yes, a huge one. If she decided to leave him behind he would become a shadow of himself. He would lose everything he worked hard to achieve and be turned into an empty shell.
"Say I lose my mind and have to leave the Society... would you stay and help the next boss?"
Mike's face contorted and his eyes reddened. "What are you even saying? You are my boss. I'm loyal to YOU. Are you planning to leave? Because if you are, I'll follow you." His words carried a tremor of repressed feelings, his usual competent and cold demeanor forgotten.
Locious sighed. He was expecting that answer, but he wasn't expecting the heartbreak in each word and the undeniable affection in Mike's eyes. There was nothing romantic in his feelings, even if people thought otherwise. Only they knew all Mike had been through in his short life and how much he needed a healthy role model—not that Locious felt like one for anyone, least of all right now. But he understood what he was asking of him and realized that he was being unfair to the people around him.
Mike didn't say anything but his lips were white with repressed anger. Locious sighed again. "I'm sorry. It was just a rhetorical question. I'm not planning on leaving, rest assured."
Mike's eyes squinted as if he didn't believe him, but a knock on the door startled them. Mike quickly wiped his eyes and returned to his stoic expression just as Sandy's head appeared through the door.
"Hi! Can we talk?" she asked. Mike said nothing. He turned around and left the office in a hurry. She opened the door and entered. "What did you do to him?" she asked, noticing Mike's strange behavior. He would have definitely scolded her for interrupting without waiting for an answer any other time, but he had just vanished without a word.
"Nothing. What did you want to talk about?" he answered, trying to pull his mind back to the present.
"Umm… Well, I talked to Berlion. He said he isn't the one who leaked the information and I believe him. Not because he is my uncle, but because you and I know how Xar is with that kind of stuff. He wouldn't have just asked him about it; he must have interrogated him." She shivered, both of them knew how Greed handled insurgency and treason.
Moreover, as greedy and carefree as Dexaryz could be, he wasn't someone who would betray you without a reason. He had nothing to gain from the attack. As a matter of fact he was probably really pissed; if the situation escalated it could ruin his business model. So even if Locious disliked the way the man worked, he had to give it to him, he is used to being straightforward with his intentions. The situation didn't look good for any of them.
"You are right. However, I think we should visit the Demon Association soon and talk to Xar face to face. I'll call him and let him know," he said, taking out his phone. The sooner they could get it over with, the sooner he could clear his mind of unnecessary baggage.
He was sending a message to Xar when he suddenly felt observed. Sandy was looking at him with knitted eyebrows and a half-smile.
Does she know I had sex with Rose? What's with this woman who can see through me so easily? he thought, suddenly feeling like a teenager caught trying to run away from home.
They stared at each other in silence. His hands shook and his heart pounded. He didn't feel like giving any explanations, nor did he want her to invite him to another spar—least after fighting Hariiel the day before. What was it with those two that everything had to be worked out through violence?
"Listen, I won't pry but you know how easily information reaches my ears. I heard about the terrifying consequences for Angels who do something they are not supposed to do. However, I will give you a piece of advice. I can't tell you how things will end up or if she will stay, but don't be a coward and push her away just out of fear. You tried it before and look where it got you. Just live your own life. You are no one else's replacement. You are you. And she is she. Enjoy what you have and cherish it for as long as it lasts," she said, her expression softening, then she left.
He spent a few minutes in a daze. She was right after all. The future was something he didn't have control over and he had to focus on the present. If something was bound to happen, the best he could do was prepare the people around him for his fallout. He didn't want to end up like Hariiel, but the void was something he could not avoid. His best course of action was to be prepared and try to keep his head as clear as possible. However, things wouldn't be as easy as he thought.
****
"I'm ready… Let's go," Sandy said an hour later, knocking on his office door once again.
He wasn't feeling well. He couldn't stop thinking about Rose. It was as if suddenly his mind was filled with images of her—her training, her kissing him, her looking at him full of love. He couldn't get it out of his head no matter how hard he tried.
"Have you seen Rose?" he spoke, and his voice sounded like a caged beast roaring for freedom. Sandy looked at him with wide eyes. There was something wrong with him; he knew it, and now she knew too.
"What is happening to you? Do you want to hurt her?" she asked, cold sweat appearing on her forehead. There was a killing aura surrounding him and he felt like he was going crazy. He needed to find Rose. He wasn't sure what he was going to do when he found her, but he had no ill intentions. However, Sandy didn't know that; she was probably wondering if she would have to fight him or run.
Locious took a deep breath to calm himself and spoke again in his normal voice. "No. Just tell her she is coming with us to the Demon Association."
Sandy let out the air she was holding with a puff and moved her hands away from the weapon hidden at her back. "Jesus Christ, Locious. That was fucking scary as hell," she said, sending a message to Rose. Not a minute later her phone buzzed. "She is coming. I told her to wait for us at the front door. Ben sent a car. Let's... go."
But Locious was already gone. He dashed past her, leaving her astonished for a moment before she ran after him.
When he saw Rose standing there, her silhouette outlined by the sunlight, his mind went blank. There were no more images or confused thoughts; even the fear seemed to vanish at the sight of her. He wanted to run to her side and hold her, but when she noticed him her cheeks changed color and she looked at her feet. If he did anything to embarrass her further, she might leave. So he stayed where he was and waited for Sandy to catch up.
When she did, Sandy explained the situation. Rose was surprised to have been called for it. She looked at Locious, but his expression remained impassive. He forced a smile and assured her it was an easy mission—that sooner or later she had to meet the demons anyway.
But inside him a storm was brewing. He was at peace with her in his sight, but at the same time there was a terrifying force pulling him to grab her and lock her in his room forever.
"Let's go," he said before his thoughts could go any further, and they set off for the Demon Association.