Chapter 1: Reborn as a Dog
The wind in Honolulu was thick, carrying the saltiness of the Pacific Ocean and the cloyingly sweet scent of frangipani, as if even the air itself was permeated with the languidness of vacation. The sunset at Waikiki Beach, like a splash of orange soda, drenched the deadly blue sky and sea, turning the clouds a sudden, dramatic golden-orange. The laughter of tourists, the screech of skateboard wheels on the ground, the clumsy ukulele playing and singing drifting from some shop—all the sounds mingled together, buzzing and assaulting my eardrums, creating an almost dizzying cacophony.
No, not my eardrums.
They belonged to a stray dog.
I huddled in the scorching sand, the rough gravel rubbing against my belly. Beside me lay an overturned black trash can, reeking of sour decay. A few nimble sparrows hopped around the edge of the can, pecking at a cardboard box smeared with sauce, occasionally tilting their heads warily to examine my motionless body. My stomach, this fur-covered, hungry belly, pressed tightly against the sand, a series of empty spasms spreading from my abdomen to my limbs, accompanied by a dull ache from the friction of my stomach walls. Human reason resisted, but canine instinct drove my nostrils to twitch, catching every possible scent of food on the wind.
I was once Levi, possessing the soul that devoured voluminous tomes in Ivy League libraries and spoke eloquently in mock courtrooms, an existence in the world of rules and logic. Now, I am one among countless stray dogs in Honolulu, my collar a symbol of a long-lost civilization, my fur matted, stained with mud, sand, and indescribable filth, every step accompanied by the sting of my pads touching the scorching sand. Memories flood in like tides, then recede, leaving behind a beach littered with debris - I remember the dimly lit apartment, the gradually tightening pressure on my neck, and the distant sound of traffic outside the window as my consciousness finally dissipated. Those pasts belonging to Levi are now imprisoned in this furry, uncontrollable shell.
"Whang... Woo..." A low whimper rolled out of the throat uncontrollably, a natural instinct of canines. The soul was protesting and howling, but this body could only emit such a weak sound, with a trembling tail note, dissipating into the salty and humid air.
Hunger finally triumphed over the remaining shreds of shame, urging me to stand up and tiptoe towards the trash can, my filthy paws moving towards it. My hind legs propelled me forward, while my front paws clung to the hot plastic wall of the can, my nails scraping against the rough surface. My nose took a deep sniff—rotten fruit, leftover hamburgers, greasy fries, some kind of spoiled cream... The mixed odors exploded like a bomb in my nasal cavity, triggering a wave of physiological nausea. Levi's stomach churned, but in this dog's body, saliva was secreted wildly, and my tongue felt constricted.
Humiliation. Dull pain. Numbness. Several emotions intertwined, almost tearing apart this fragile consciousness.
I buried my head, trying to find something edible from a pile of coffee grounds and sticky spaghetti. At that moment, out of the corner of my eye, I caught sight of two figures, frozen in the afterglow of the sunset like in a movie scene.
Just a few steps away, on a white beach chair, sat a man.
The collar of the linen shirt was casually open, revealing his sun-kissed skin and clearly visible collarbone. The lines of his profile were sharp and clean, with a high nose bridge and a jawline that I had secretly traced countless times in the dim light of the library, hidden behind the bookshelves. He tilted his head slightly to listen to his female companion, a faint smile playing around the corners of his lips.
Jiangyu.
My unrequited love in my previous life ended without any illness. The person I never dared to say "I like you" to until my death. The person who once accidentally met my gaze while wiping sweat on the basketball court, but quickly looked away.
He is here. In Honolulu. In this corner of the world where I thought I would never cross paths with him again.
And beside him, sitting closely, was a young woman wearing a Bohemian dress, with slightly curly long hair and a bright smile, her fingertips gently resting in the crook of his arm. Jiang Yu held a Chicken roll ice cream in his hand, not for himself, but with a gentle and slightly imperceptible smile of doting, he gently brought it to the woman's lips. She smiled charmingly and took a small bite, with a smidgen of cream on her corner of her mouth, and he naturally wiped it away with his fingertip, the action skillful and intimate.
The sunshine shone on them, perfectly resembling a carefully composed travel advertisement, with happiness radiating from every frame. Bride, honeymoon. These words pierced my chaotic consciousness like red-hot ice picks, bringing a sharp sting.
Li Wei has passed away. He died in his cold apartment, the cause of his death unbearable to recall. Yet, the world carries on as usual. Here he is, sweet and happy, and perhaps, he is completely unaware that there once was a person named Li Wei, who once felt a flutter in his heart for him, and then silently vanished, like a speck of dust falling into the sea.
An indescribable sense of sorrow and bewilderment swept over me, colder than the sea breeze and worse than hunger. What am I? An extra gift in a farce? An ugly footnote existing in the cracks of the world? Why does fate make me witness his fulfillment in this form?
I involuntarily took a few steps forward, the sand crumbling between my claws, creating a subtle friction sensation. I wanted to get closer, closer still, perhaps just to confirm whether it was really him or if it was just a hallucination produced by my disordered soul. Or perhaps, within this beast's body, there still lingered a pathetic attachment instinct towards "acquaintances"? Reason screamed to retreat, but my limbs felt as if they were being pulled by invisible strings.
A series of subtle sobs escaped from my throat, the meaning of which even I couldn't discern, mixed with grievances, confusion, and a hint of humble longing that I myself didn't want to admit.
Jiangyu turned his head.
His gaze fell on me. In that instant, time seemed to freeze, and I almost thought he recognized me, recognizing the soul beneath the dirty fur that had once shared the same campus and the same air with him. My heart (the dog's heart) contracted violently, beating fast and wildly, pounding against my thin chest.
But in the next second, his beautiful eyebrows furrowed, and his eyes showed no trace of familiarity or curiosity, only pure and unreserved disgust, as if he were looking at a pile of filth that had accidentally been stepped on and would pollute his vision.
"Get lost," he said in a low but icy voice, carrying a condescending and unquestionable sense of expulsion. "Filthy dog."
Before I could finish speaking, he raised his foot and kicked my front leg sideways with a moderate force, using his leather sandals. It wasn't very painful, but the sudden force and the accompanying deep-seated sense of humiliation made my entire body freeze, and my blood seemed to freeze instantly.
I stumbled back a few steps, the rough gravel rubbing against the kicked area, bringing a burning sensation. Watching him turn around and smile reassuringly at the woman, it seemed as if he had just casually brushed away a fallen leaf or chased away an annoying fly. Their world remained perfect, and I was just a discordant noise that had intruded into it.
Filthy dog.
Yeah, I'm a dirty dog now. From the inside out.
I turned around, tucked my tail between my legs, and cautiously made my way out of that area filled with the sweet scent of ice cream and sunscreen. I was escaping from the person I once cherished deeply but who now pushed me away with their own hands. The sand was still scorching, and the setting sun stretched my shadow long and distorted, trailing behind me like an unrelenting nightmare.