Alex and William headed toward the garden, enveloped by the night's shadows.
They wandered in silence for a long time, the scent of flowers all around them and a cold breeze stirring the branches.
Alex smiled. "Are you feeling better?"
Despite his flushed cheeks and watery eyes, William didn't seem particularly drunk. His steps were steady, as always.
"A little." The mage looked at him. "My question from before was serious."
"Which one?"
"With me, would you prefer to be active or passive?"
Alex flushed and scratched the back of his neck. "Do you really think that's how you ask something like that?"
"I can't believe this embarrasses you."
"It embarrasses me when you ask me in front of Nik."
"That's strange. You're always so audacious, even in front of your men."
"Nik is… different. He's like a brother to me." He avoided his gaze. "If you really want to know, you're the only person who's ever made me want to be active."
"Really?"
"When I look at you, all I want is to push you against a wall and have you. Oh, and on a desk too." Alex grinned. "On second thought, I think I'd try every piece of furniture in the palace with you, including my father's throne."
"Maybe not the throne."
"The Council table?"
"Do you wish for us to be discovered?"
"No, but… it would be a relief, in a way." Alex looked away. "The only thing that worries me is how they'll treat you. And then… Never mind."
He still couldn't face the subject of their relationship with him—not before giving him the gift and declaring himself as custom required. Not that it made much sense after what they had done, but Alex didn't want to make him feel like just one of the many lovers he'd had.
William crouched in front of a flowerbed. "Since we returned, we haven't really talked. Maybe we should do that now."
"Tomorrow. I… still have to do something before." Alex swallowed. "But think about it, all right? Because when we talk, I'll want an answer right away."
"I will."
For a long moment, they both stayed silent, watching the flowers.
"You're a kind prince. I appreciate that."
"You're one of the few who don't mind it."
"I actually do consider it a problem." The mage met his gaze. "But only because this place is twisted. If you were anyone else, it would be a positive trait."
Alex lowered his eyes and hesitated for a moment. "I don't think I can change."
"Then let me be the cruel one."
"That wouldn't be fair."
William raised an eyebrow. "Why?"
"Because you're kind too. And I can't let others bear my duties for me."
Silence fell between them and lingered.
William looked away. "You've changed. You're less superficial."
Alex laughed. "You're not much in the mood for compliments tonight."
"Or maybe you've simply decided to let the mask fall."
The prince's heart sank. It was incredible how well William understood him. And it hurt that he couldn't do the same in return.
He avoided his gaze. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"You're awful at lying."
Maybe so. Still, pretending to be capricious and superficial had long been his only weapon to shake off all those responsibilities. Now, though, he no longer wanted to be the foolish prince. He wanted to be strong.
"Can I ask you a question?"
The mage studied him for a moment, then nodded.
"At the beginning, when we first met, did you… hate me?"
"No."
"Really?"
William lowered his gaze to the flowers sunk in shadow. "I never hated you, but I can't say I felt any fondness. You made me wait for an hour, kneeling before the king."
"I didn't intend to humiliate you."
"The other nobles kept whispering about how inadequate I was. They laughed at the Xianese mage prostrated in the middle of the hall."
Guilt dug into Alex's chest. "I'm sorry, Will."
The mage looked back at him. "I was angry and vented my frustration on you. Until we set out for Astya, I kept thinking you were just a capricious and selfish man. And afterward, when we returned, I was angry with you because you had put yourself in danger for no reason."
"Will, I… I didn't do it on purpose. That day's delay—I never meant for it to happen."
"Where were you?"
Alex pressed his lips together. "In a brothel, but I didn't mean to be late."
He sat down beside him and fixed his gaze on the flowerbed, because looking at him would have been too difficult.
"I was tense. About our meeting. I wanted Nikolas as my mage, but my father had decided otherwise."
"So you ran away."
"I needed to forget everything, just for one night. But I wanted to return to the palace at dawn, in time for the meeting." He scratched the back of his neck. "In the end, though, I got up late."
And he had made him kneel for an entire hour.
William rested his shoulder against Alex's. "Have you ever regretted our bond?"
"No."
"Not even for a moment?"
Alex shook his head. "Never. The only thing I regret is having started off on the wrong foot with you." He slipped an arm around his shoulders and gently pressed his head against his own neck. "And not being strong enough to protect you. I acted like an idiot for far too long."
"I can take care of myself, Your Highness."
"I know, but… you don't have to shoulder everything on your own. We can protect each other. When we're together, we're stronger."
Alex smiled at him, and the mage smiled back. For a long moment, they both stayed silent. The garden lay wrapped in a dreamlike silence, the moon's pale gleam bathing trees and flowers.
William stood up. "May I show you something?"
Alex nodded and followed him, until they reached a secluded area with a solitary willow, its long, silvery branches stretching above them. It was immersed in silence and there were no places to sit or flowers to admire.
William stopped in front of the tree and raised his palm. A pale sphere shimmered just above his hand, and a breeze carrying the scent of flowers and herbs stirred all around them.
Thousands of tiny lights rose from the ground and drifted among the willow's drooping leaves like fireflies. Their faint glow flickered, illuminating the blades of grass, William's relaxed face, and his poison-green eyes.
Alex's heart swelled with wonder, and a pleasant tightness filled his stomach.
"It's beautiful…"
William moved toward the willow. "It's just a small trick."
"Have you decided to be humble tonight?"
"Perhaps." The mage turned and smiled at him. "Tonight I feel at peace, Your Highness."
Alex's eyes widened, a warmth spreading along his cheeks. William was beautiful, cold and distant like a winter moon, and sharp as a blade.
And Alex wanted him more than ever. He wanted to pull him to his chest and never let him go.
William pushed aside a willow branch and vanished among the shadows and the dark foliage brushing the ground. Alex followed him, and wrapped his arms around him.
The mage flinched. "Your Highness?"
"You're unfair," the prince murmured. He brushed his lips against his neck. "You're so unfair, making me fall in love with you all over again."
"I didn't… mean to. Not even the first time."
"Do you regret it?"
"No. When you are with me, I never regret anything. I can almost accept myself."
Alex smiled, tilted his head, and kissed him, drawn to those soft lips, sweet as honey yet capable of speaking words sharp as daggers. Aware that this forbidden love could lead them both to disaster.
But despite all the risks, he would never give up the man he had fallen in love with.
Alex spent the night in the mage's bed, holding him close to enjoy the warmth of his body. At dawn, he woke him with a kiss.
"Do you have to leave?" William asked, his voice still thick with sleep.
"I should. But if you want, I can stay with you a little longer."
"Better not. It's risky."
It was, but Alex did not want to leave. He wanted to sleep wrapped around him for a few more hours.
If only the court didn't spy on his every move, searching for weaknesses.
"I really wish I could stay."
"Your Highness, if the maid doesn't find you when she comes to bring your breakfast, it will be a problem."
Alex parted his lips, but William silenced him with a kiss.
"Don't say it," he whispered. "It's more important than you think. You have to bring the nobles to your side." He caressed his cheek. "Whatever you want to do, you must become stronger."
The prince nodded and closed his eyes to savor the warmth of his hand. William was right; he needed the nobles to see him as a worthy king before he could claim the mage as his consort.
"All right, I'll go back to my chambers." He ran a hand through his hair. "Do I have to do anything special today? Like, should I argue with Ballard about the way he treats you?"
William sighed. "There are no meetings today, but you should appear at court. Right after breakfast. The guests for tonight's banquet will arrive, and they'll expect an audience with you."
"Can I bring you with me?"
"If you wish. I am your mage, and I don't think there's anything wrong with me assisting you."
"I'll need your wisdom to keep me from causing some disaster."
A faint smile touched the William's lips. "You're far better than you think. Have faith in yourself."
"But I'm too impulsive."
"Sometimes that's a positive quality."
"Like when I have to win over a certain mage?"
"And when you have to surprise him."
William cupped his face and kissed him. Alex slid one hand to the nape of his neck, parted his own lips, and brushed his tongue against the mage's.
They drank each other's breath in, panting and murmuring, their hands brushing over skin, along the neck, and across the cheeks. With every caress, Alex's heart missed a beat, and a pleasant warmth blossomed in his chest.
He pushed William back onto the bed, leaned over him, sliding close between his legs.
The kiss grew more intense and hungry; William crossed his ankles behind Alex and pulled him close. The prince's hands traced the mage's skin as if he could memorize every curve of his body.
Alex wanted him, yet the moment wasn't right. William deserved to be courted with care and devotion.
He pulled away from his lips and stroked the mage's face with his knuckles.
"I think I have to go."
"Don't be late," William said softly.
"If I am, you can come to my chambers."
Alex gave him a final kiss on the forehead, then left the room and returned to his own apartments before anyone noticed his absence.
He lay down on the be, and only then he realized how cold it was without William.