Won Yu-ha stared blankly at the river flowing past in front of him.
The beads of dew on the beer can in his hand dampened his fingers and dripped onto the ground. He took another sip of beer that had gone lukewarm at some point, let out a deep sigh, and with his limping leg walked to the end of the fence.
"..."
All he could see below the fence was the river, heaving blackly.
Yu-ha lightly opened the fingers holding the beer can. The can that had been in his hand tipped straight out of his grip and fell into the river.
A plop from so far away it didn't even make a sound.
Quietly, he took his phone out of his pocket and opened the country's biggest portal site. The main page of the entertainment section was, as always, filled with all kinds of celebrity gossip.
He moved his fingers and searched a single word.
"'LIGHTNING' Kwon Hyuk-gyu, blatant 'lovestagram' with a girlfriend who used to be a sasaeng?"
"'LIGHTNING' Lee Hee-min booked for assault after drinking… 'Sorry to the fans,' apologizes."
"'LIGHTNING' Haoran headed to China after offensive remark?… In talks with Icheon Entertainment, 'positively reviewing.'"
They were stories about the members of his group, LIGHTNING.
A so-called "failed idol" group—the kind whose name doesn't even make the trending searches or the main page; you only find a stray article or two if you type the group name in.
And the one who'd been that "failed idol" group's leader for five years was Won Yu-ha—him.
"Shit..."
The curse he'd repeated to himself so many times while leading the group for five years slipped out past his lips.
"Bastards."
Feeling anger rise to the top of his head, Yu-ha scrolled down. Unlike other idols, there weren't many comments on articles about his group.
In the end, he even went into the fan community for his group, which he'd consciously avoided the past few days.
The board, which was practically dead because there weren't many active users to begin with, was, of all days, roaring like it was on fire.
Of course, not in a good way.
So they're called LIGHTNING and they really did disappear like a flash lol living up to the name
I'm the clown who stanned this failed group like they were idols;; the company's crap, I was crazy for promoting them just because the kids were "nice." I even thought the blank eyes and the "ah, really?" they parroted at fansigns were just them being tired and defended them lol five years of stanning down the drain, bye, I'm done too
(Photos of a smashed album and ripped photocards)
One's dating a sasaeng, one got booked for assault after drinking—what, trying to "prove" he wasn't a school bully?—and one's flying off like a pigeon lol truly legendary, just in a different way
Can we just treat LIGHTNING as a stage name now and not a group name, agreed?
Hyuk-gyu, your hanging out with sasaengs has been famous since nn years ago, right? Heh. Thinking back, we should've shut it down then. Fans begged you, and you still ended up dating one. Seeing you torpedo your own career, all I can think is you were outsourcing your sense of self to sasaengs lol what were we to you?
└ Huh? Fan of another group here—"outsourcing sense of self"?
└ Yup. His hobby was messaging sasaeng fangirls for comfort and affirmation. And it ended perfectly with him dating the worst of them~~~
└ Wow;; insane lolol
Isn't the most shocking one Lee Hee-min? Ignoring the school-bullying controversy and going out drinking, then hitting someone lol compared to him, Kwon Hyuk-gyu and Haoran look like saints
└ Nope~ all three are the same~
└ Stop overrating any of them. It's over anyway lol
Haoran, that bastard, was itching to go back to his country since year two. Still pisses me off thinking about it lol half-assing domestic promotions, just raising his profile so he could bolt back home—big picture, right?
└ lol "Korea is China's vassal~ We've been brothers since ancient times, little brother nation~" Thinking of that crap still feels like a massive backstab
But Yu-ha's been clean since debut. Let's not let go of our Yu-ha. Fans all know he tried to drag those guys along even when their eyes went dead.. For Yu-ha's sake, let's not give up on LIGHTNING.
└ Birds of a feather. With the others' scandals, Won Yu-ha's probably the same. What kind of "leader" can't even manage his members lol
└ Watch your mouth. Why should he manage them? He's just another member; this is on the agency. Don't drag innocent Yu-ha into it.
└ You still want to play handmaiden in this situation? lololololol
└ Just let them keep deluding themselves,, "It's not Won Yu-ha~~~ let's just support him hehe" lolol You'll see when the article drops lolol
└ One left now, right? lolololol
Fans had split into sides and were fighting. A small number said they still had to believe in the members; the majority said the group was completely ruined, so they should leave the fandom now and disband.
"..."
Yu-ha turned off his phone without intending to read any more. Then he threw that over the fence as well.
…Yeah, there's no such thing as a solution.
He had to admit it. The group he belonged to—LIGHTNING—really was finished.
There was no way to bring LIGHTNING back, no matter what he did. Three out of four had caused trouble and then each bailed.
Today was the day Won Yu-ha's five-year contract with his agency, Robinson, ended. Of course there was no renewal. LIGHTNING didn't have enough recognition to warrant new contracts.
And now, Yu-ha had no value as a product either.
He'd recently been in a car accident and been told he'd never be able to dance again.
-Sorry, Yu-ha.
The company didn't even circulate the news to reporters. If anything, they were intent on hushing it up. With things ending anyway, they wanted to wrap the contract up cleanly.
It had already been two years since LIGHTNING last released a new song in Korea.
After three years of sputtering activity, the agency gave up on expecting anything from LIGHTNING and didn't even try to manage them properly for the remainder of their contracts.
After those three years, they were shipped overseas for a year, and in the final year they couldn't even do that, spending what was essentially a hiatus.
In the meantime, what little recognition they'd had domestically dug straight into the ground, and even the fans who had trickled in left quickly. Some were fed up with an incompetent agency, but most were disappointed in the members.
And Won Yu-ha understood them.
This group was never going to make it from the start.
Because the one most disappointed in LIGHTNING was none other than himself.
Robinson, a brand-new fledgling agency, needed an idol group to debut. The CEO was in a hurry and didn't have time to hold auditions and train trainees. In the end, he used his connections to pull trainees from other companies and formed LIGHTNING.
After being practically kicked out of the agency where he'd trained for five years, Won Yu-ha got the offer; Kwon Hyuk-gyu was scouted via DM as a face-card influencer on Stargram.
Lee Hee-min and Haoran were surplus trainees who hadn't debuted and were lingering at other agencies; the CEO brought them over with a promise to debut. That's how their group, LIGHTNING—cobbled together from whoever could be gathered—came to be.
LIGHTNING launched with the grand ambition of striking the entertainment world like a bolt of lightning, but they didn't become a lightning bolt—barely even a lamplight.
Kwon Hyuk-gyu was just a clout-chasing influencer with a pretty face. Lee Hee-min and Haoran had so little idol spark that you could tell why they'd never debuted—and why their old CEO was willing to hand them over.
With no shared time to speak of in the first place, the members didn't get along. Everyone did their own thing, their goals and mindsets all different. Even the kinds of trouble they caused were all over the map.
As the fans had pointed out, Kwon Hyuk-gyu kept messing around dating sasaengs. Lee Hee-min couldn't control his temper and flew off the handle often. Feeling the strong stink of a doomed group, Haoran dreamed of bailing as early as year one after debut and spouted offensive remarks to curry favor with China-booster nationalism.
With three of the four harboring other intentions, the group was never going to take off. They plummeted fast, without ever beating their wings properly.
…If only I'd kept my head a little more.
Yu-ha started to blame himself, as was his habit, then shook his head. No. That wasn't it.
He really had worked hard. Dragging along members whose minds were elsewhere, trying somehow to make it, he'd hauled them by the scruffs of their necks this far.
He didn't want to disappoint the fans, and he wanted to achieve his own dream. Yu-ha tried under every bad condition—he really did.
That effort was real. That feeling was real.
Which is exactly why Yu-ha found the present all the more unbearable.
"…Haha."
Yu-ha let out a small laugh and stepped over beyond the fence. Then, in one motion, he went across. His head, warmed by the alcohol, swam.
The wind shoved at his body and he staggered. With his bad foot, it was even harder to keep his balance, but Yu-ha held on and took a deep breath. Then he lifted his head.
Beyond the black, heaving river, the glittering city spread out. He looked up at a tall, shining electronic billboard. Alongside someone's face, flashy font read:
"Congratulations on the 5th anniversary of Kim Min-gi's debut!
A star descended to this world, may you always shine where you are."
It was a birthday ad for Kim Min-gi, who had now moved on to a solo career.
They'd trained together long ago, but the gap between them had grown far too wide.
—Yu-ha, please understand. You still have a chance.
The moment he recalled Kim Min-gi's face as he'd said that, sounding apologetic—
Yu-ha let go of the fence without hesitation.
As his body pitched headlong toward the black river, only one thought ran through Won Yu-ha's mind.
If I'm born again, I'll never be an idol.
I'll never even dream of a life like this again.
Feeling the cold river wrap around his body, he closed his eyes. The world went completely dark.