[Red Dust Meng Meng Meng: So Mu En asked Bei Bei to find Tang Ya—what's his real goal?]
[Red Dust Meng Meng Meng: If he truly wanted to help Tang Sect, where was Shrek Academy when it counted?]
[Group Member Number Nine: I think… it's probably because of the Mysterious Heaven Treasure Record?]
[Su Yan: Possible. Mu En's an old fox, great at scheming. Personally, I lean toward it being King Tang God's idea; otherwise, would Shrek really watch Tang Sect be wiped out? Aren't they afraid of the God King's wrath?]
[Su Yan: After the next Group Chat upgrade, I'll serve everyone a huge scoop on Mu En—on the same level as Bo Saixi, Qian Daoliu, and Tang Chen, but a hundred times more explosive than the "Three Air-Sea-Land Idiots"!]
[Everyone: ???]
Dou 2.
Shrek Academy.
Ma Xiaotao was utterly dumbfounded.
What?
A big scoop on Elder Mu?
A hundred times more explosive than Bo Saixi's gang?
Oh my gosh!
This is killing me.
[Ma Xiaotao: I beg you—spare our Shrek!]
[Ma Xiaotao: Sun Moon Empire has melons—how about we nibble theirs first? Ancestors, please let Shrek off!]
[Liu Erlong: Xiaotao, remember: when you're out there, own your mistakes and take your licks. And repay favors—every newcomer bites our melon first; who do we complain to?]
[Bibi Dong: Every time that waste Yu Xiaogang is mentioned, I and Liu Erlong get scolded—have any of you ever spared us?]
[Bo Saixi: Haven't you seen that bastard Su Yan still calling us the "Air-Sea-Land Three Idiots"?]
Dou 2.
Shrek Academy.
Ma Xiaotao was ready to surrender.
Who on earth coined the name "Frenemies Family"?
Absolutely brilliant.
[Ma Xiaotao: Ancestor Erlong! Elder Mu is your descendant, his Spirit is the Radiant Holy Dragon, and he's Shrek's ninety-ninth-level super Douluo headmaster—he's literally Shrek's face!]
[Hu Liena: Yu Erlong, so this is your "spiritual romance," haha!!]
[Group Member Number Nine: Xiaotao, there you go cursing again.]
[Everyone: 666.]
Blue Tyrant Academy.
Liu Erlong literally exploded.
Ridiculous!
Ten thousand years later and they still drag me out for a whipping?
I'll be the laughingstock of everyone!
[Liu Erlong: I'm going insane—I swear I'll kill that bastard Yu Xiaogang!]
[Su Yan: Tao, don't get worked up. Your teacher is Yan Shaozhe, right? He's the star of this big melon.]
[Su Yan: Let me put it this way: the reason I called you and Tang YaInnate Holy-Spirit-Master physiques—Tang Ya relies on mutation, but you getting into Holy Spirit Cult is pure nepotism. Really! The sect master, grand elder, all the top brass are your relatives.]
[Everyone: ???]
[Red Dust Meng Meng Meng: OMG—when will the chat upgrade? I'm dying for this melon!]
[Yanzi is not a Swallow: Can't finish, simply can't finish. Tang Ya's melon isn't done, then there's Tang San's, then Mu En… too many—this Group Chat is too much fun.]
[Hu Liena: Ma Xiaotao, no wonder you're so fiery—your connections rule both the underworld and the establishment in Dou 2.]
[Nine Treasures Little Princess: Hahaha!!]
Dou 2.
At this moment, not only did Tang Ya shut down,
Ma Xiaotao put on her pain-mask again.
What?
My teacher Yan Shaozhe?
How's he tangled up in Elder Mu's melon?
How could I possibly have relatives in Holy Spirit Cult?
Impossible!
Absolutely impossible!
[Call Me Her Majesty the Empress: Aoo, you humans are complicated creatures—but it does sound kinda fun.]
[Ah Yin: Your Majesty, enjoy the melons while you can; when they bite yours later and double over laughing, you'll lose out if you don't laugh now.]
[Loves Eating Carrots: Ah Yin's got a point, haha!!]
[Call Me Her Majesty the Empress: Bold Blue Silver Grass, as a Spirit Beast you dare disrespect this Empress?]
[Ah Yin: I'm serious—judging by Your Majesty's current IQ display, you're 100% a Spirit Beast who'll end up offering herself as sacrifice.]
[Su Yan: Ah Yin's so smart!]
[Everyone: ???]
[Hu Liena: Hahaha!!]
[Liu Erlong: I'm dying—Su Yan just confirmed it; Her Majesty's sacrifice is sealed.]
[Winter Cutie: Poor Spirit Beasts, why so unlucky?]
[Su Yan: It's fine, Winter Cutie—be happy, happier than anyone else!]
[Winter Cutie: ???]
[Cat in the Shadows: Blame those Tangs for lacking virtue—one generation Spirit Beast, one generation Empress, every generation of Spirit Beasts marries the Hammer King.]
[Winter Cutie: N-no way?]
Dou 2.
Shrek City.
Wang Dong was dumbfounded.
This generation's Clear Sky Hammer seems to have only me down the mountain.
Big bro, I'm a girl!
Though I'm in drag, I'm really a girl!
Do I have to start a "spiritual romance" with this EmpressSpirit Beast?
Wang Dong shuddered—who the hell invented spiritual romance?
Terrifying.
[Call Me Her Majesty the Empress: You bastards tricked me into sacrifice—I'll tell Di Tian right now, and I'll tell… just wait, all of you villains!]
[Yanzi is not a Swallow: Hold up—outsiders mustn't hear Group Chat stuff or you'll get electro-shock warnings.]
[Call Me Her Majesty the Empress: Huh? What do I do then?]
[Bibi Dong: Small issue. From now on I've got your back. See a Clear Sky Hammer or anyone surnamed Tang? Tell me and I'll teleport to scrap them for you!]
[Call Me Her Majesty the Empress: Good Bibi Dong, you're a nice person. If I ever snatch a reward I'll share it with you.]
[Liu Erlong: Old Woman, isn't that a bit shameless?]
[Bibi Dong: Nonsense. Her Majesty and I are friends; friends help friends. I don't want her spirit ring or bone—where's the shamelessness?]
[Bibi Dong: In this group we're all sisters—anyone needs help, just say it, and I, Bibi Dong, won't refuse!]
[I Am an Orphan: Pure and noble—rivaling the God King.]
[Hu Liena: Pfft… ah, I was wrong, Teacher, don't hit… don't hit…]
Star Dou Great Forest.
Su Yan's group didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
This Bibi Dong really knows how to wedge herself in!
Ning Rongrong whispered, "Brother Su Yan, I think Bibi Dong would make a great Admin—she'd keep group relations smooth."
Dugu Yan and Ye Lingling froze on the spot.
OMG?
His Holiness the Supreme Pontiff entering the palace too?
Zhu Zhuqing's Eastern Palace seat looks set for a mega-challenge.
"Ahem."
Su Yan cleared his throat awkwardly and shifted the topic by continuing the Group Chat tale of Tang Ya.
[Su Yan: Fired up by Bei Bei's encouragement, Tang Ya regained confidence and began Cultivating every Tang Sect skill. When her spirit power hit the thirtieth-level Bottleneck, she and Bei Bei went to Star Dou Great Forest for a suitable third spirit ring, ran into the Luck-bearing child Huo Yuhao who was out to pick a million-year ring, recruited Huo Yuhao into Tang Sect and passed on Tang SectCultivation Techniques.]
[Su Yan: By current plot timing, they should have just finished hunting their rings and be on the road back to Shrek City.]
[Su Yan: Tang Ya, stop crying. You love being mouth-hard—so now I'll cite one crazy thing you already did; you refute and slap my face.]
[Su Yan: When they met Huo Yuhao in Star Dou Great Forest, Bei Bei asked, "Little brother Huo, do you have any family?" Huo Yuhao answered, "No one, just me." Tang Ya was overjoyed and blurted, "That's wonderful!"]
[Everyone: ???]
(End of Chapter)
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