"Haku..."
***
Stepping through the doors of the Underground Exchange, she was met by the same attendant as last time, wearing the same owl mask. The girl entered the main hall. It was as silent as her first visit. The only difference was that the gray and white clothes she wore were no longer clean, but caked with mud and blood.
The girl paid it no mind and walked straight to the counter.
The same young man was behind it. His expression didn't change in the slightest at the sight of her wretched state, as if he hadn't seen it at all.
"Mission complete."
She hopped onto the stool, equally unfazed by her own appearance, and pulled a blood-stained scroll from the tool pouch on her back, handing it to the young man.
He took it without any sign of disgust at the blood, tossing it behind the counter without even checking it. He then looked at her and said, "Care for a drink? My treat, to celebrate your success, my lady."
The girl glanced at him languidly. "Just a glass of milk."
"Of course."
A moment later, a glass of hot milk was placed before her. The girl cupped the glass and stared into space.
Seeing that she wasn't making any further moves, the others in the hall gradually broke their silence, and the room became as lively as it had been before she arrived.
The young man scribbled furiously at the counter for a while before looking up and sliding a badge toward her. "Lady Dancer in the Snow, your information has been registered. From now on, you can use this badge to accept and turn in missions at any branch of the exchange."
The girl took the badge, gave it a cursory glance, and tucked it away.
The young man continued, "Every branch of the Underground Exchange has dedicated rooms for rest. If you feel tired, my lady, you may go there. Please rest assured about your safety. Private disputes are forbidden in the rest area, so no one will bother you. Furthermore, we have dedicated fashion designers and tailors. You can have your clothes cleaned and repaired, or you can have new ones custom-made."
"Do you have any men's clothes I could use?"
The girl looked down at herself. Her clothes had been severely damaged in the fight. She had tied up the larger rips with thin cord, but there were still many small tears. She was ready for a change.
Having lived in the world of Naruto for nearly seven years, Touye was no longer so averse to wearing dresses, but having been a man for over twenty years in her past life, she still subconsciously preferred men's clothing.
The young man was taken aback. It was the first time she had seen an expression on his face other than a smile.
"...Yes."
***
The girl walked into the bathing room of the lounge, carrying a set of new clothes. She shed her old ones and slowly sank into the tub filled with hot water.
Lying back, she watched the steam rise and drift from the surface of the water. A faint blush soon crept onto her cheeks.
She stared blankly at the ceiling. *I feel so alone... Damn it... I'm soaking in hot water, so why do I still feel cold...*
"Ugh..."
She clutched her chest, biting her lower lip until it bled.
It felt like a hole had opened up inside her, a void so empty it threatened to swallow her whole.
Humans, in the end, were not creatures meant to live alone...
She turned over, leaning against the edge of the tub. "It's so... quiet... It feels like I'm the only person left in the world. No, it's like I've been abandoned by the world."
Even when standing in a crowd, she felt no warmth. Even amidst the noise, she was so lonely she could cry. She was alive, but she didn't know if she was already dead...
"Damn it... Damn it..."
She pounded her fists against the side of the tub. "Anyone... Anyone... Please... help me... *sob*..."
The girl finally broke down and cried.
She finally understood why, in the original story, Haku and Kimimaro were so overcome with gratitude at a simple "I need you" that they would follow someone for a lifetime, loyal until death. Loneliness... it was such a terrifying thing.
Huddled in this small corner, she felt completely cut off from the world of the living, as if she had been cast out. The world around her seemed to have turned to black and white, and she, the only speck of color, was being steadily devoured by the grayness called "loneliness"...
*If, if someone were to tell me right now, 'I need you,' then even I would throw myself at them like a madwoman, without a second thought.*
*It's not just a phrase. It's the only spot of color in an endlessly gray world. It doesn't matter if I'm being used, if I have to cast aside my humanity to be a mere tool, or even if it's all a lie!*
*Because... this is... hope!*
*I can't... I can't live for myself alone...*
*I want... I want to know if I'm even still alive!*
*I'm just a coward, afraid of being alone. So please... even as a tool is fine... Someone... give me... a reason to live!*
*Even someone as... pathetic, lonely, and cowardly as me... I... I long for happiness, too...*
The girl was sobbing uncontrollably.
There was no one. Not a single person to comfort her.
She cried and cried. After who knows how long, her sobs finally quieted. She slowly curled up in the now lukewarm bathwater and fell into a deep sleep.
***
"Hah!"
The girl swung at the neck of the Iwagakure rogue ninja before her. He ducked, thrusting a kunai at her.
Clang!
She parried the thrust and followed up with an elbow to his abdomen, simultaneously aiming a treacherous kick at his legs.
The rogue ninja dodged the elbow but was knocked off balance by the kick. The girl seized the opportunity, closing the distance and driving her tachi upward with both hands.
Another sharp clang rang out as both the tachi and the kunai flew from their hands, spinning through the air before landing far away.