Finally, my work is done.
I spent days and nights for an entire month just to finish this food recipe. If my boss doesn't like it, I swear I'll knock him out cold.
Carrying the recipe paper, I knocked on the boss's office door.
"Reid, come in."
I opened the door and walked inside before seeing my boss. He looked like a pig being fattened up on a farm – brainless and unaware he was going to be eaten by humans.
I honestly wonder how someone like me could end up working under him.
"Boss, here's the VIRAL food recipe you wanted."
"Why are you stressing the word VIRAL so much? Whatever."
He looked at the recipe, and then his eyes widened.
"Are you stupid?!! Do you know what you've done?!!"
"Of course. You asked for a VIRAL dish. Recently everyone is obsessed with A5 wagyu and Turkish food. So I made an A5 wagyu steak seasoned with authentic imported Turkish spices."
"Do you know how expensive A5 wagyu is?! It's ridiculously pricey!!" His fat hand slammed the desk. "Of all things, why did you choose A5 wagyu?!! We're not a luxury restaurant!"
"Because you wanted it to be VIRAL."
"I said I wanted VIRAL food, not wagyu."
"Among all foods, wagyu has the highest chance of going VIRAL."
"I don't care. Make another VIRAL dish."
"Okay then — be clear. What exactly counts as viral? One-year dry-aged steak? A kilo of caviar? No — wait — I've got it. Human-meat steak. That's guaranteed to go viral."
"Do you want us in prison…? Anything except what you just said. But it must be VIRAL. Remember. VI-RAL. Say it again: V I R A L!"
This guy really is a pig.
No brain. No proper instructions.
"Boss, I've already made ten VIRAL recipes like you asked. Even that pineapple pizza could've gone VIRAL, but you rejected that, too. I don't know what kind of VIRAL you're talking about. Can you explain what VIRAL means to you?"
"Four times… good, I like your VIRAL attitude."
Aaaaaaaaargh!!! What language is he even speaking?!
He's not human. He is 100% pork.
"Fine, I'll try to make another VIRAL dish."
"Good. But if you mess up again, you're fired."
"Huh…? What did you just say, pig?"
"You've failed too many times. So, of course I'll fire you for the sake of efficiency if you fail again. That's what we call 'Human! Resources! Technique!' By the way, did you just call me a pig?"
Human resources technique my ass.
A pig like you should never talk about human resources.
And everything is literally your fault.
You can't give one clear instruction.
Why am I the one who gets fired?!
"Hey, did you just call me a pig?!!"
Fine, I'll break my own vow.
I won't punch this pig's head.
But I will kick this pig's head.
"HRRRRIIIIIEEEEEEKKKKKK!!!!!!"
Ahhh~ what a beautiful sound~The majestic squeal of pure pork~
I staggered home after getting fired.
Do I regret kicking his head?
Not even 0.00001%.
I've hated that pig since day one.
It felt as relieving as taking a dump after holding it in for a week.
But what really drains my soul is my future.
How the hell am I supposed to make money now?
There's no surviving modern society without cash.
This cursed system — thanks, global elites.
Humans long ago didn't need money.
Didn't even need clothes.
Good times.
Whatever. I'll think about it later. Right now, I need entertainment.
I arrived at my house and opened the door, only to see a dark room full of trash. I forgot when I last cleaned it. Hopefully it hasn't become a cockroach nest. Those hell-spawn creatures are the things I fear most in this world.
I stepped on trash all the way to my bedroom.
As soon as I reached the bed, I collapsed face-down.
"Aaaahhh~ beds are the greatest invention in history."
I pulled my smartphone out of my pocket.
There's this novel series that I really love. It's called Divine Blood. It's the most popular and successful novel series in the world. It even got a movie, a comic, a game, and even an anime adaptation.
The latest released volume is volume eight.
After checking online, there's still no news about volume nine.
"Tch! Why is the author so lazy?!"
It's been 20 damn years and it's still not finished. I hope the author doesn't betray the fans who've been loyal for this long.
But… I get it. He's probably filthy rich now. The series has been milked harder than a dairy cow. Example: the game version. Thirty DLCs. Only idiots would buy them.
…And yes. I am one of those idiots.
I got off the bed and sat in front of my computer.
Since there's no new volume, I'll just play that game.
Its title is Divine Blood: The War of God and Devil.
The timeline takes place a thousand years before the main story.
But as I reached to turn on my PC…
a tiny creature stood on my monitor.
Small. Dark. Oval-shaped.
Wait. No. That's… a cockroach.
A COCKROACH!!!
"Hyaaaaaaaaahhhh!!!!!"
I freaked out so hard I flipped backward.
My head and neck slammed against the floor.
I heard something crack.
And then, darkness.
When I opened my eyes again… something was wrong.
My perspective was higher. My body felt different.
And the place? I wasn't in my trash kingdom anymore. I was in an abandoned apartment. Cracked walls. Cobwebs. Dust everywhere.
"What the hell… Is this a dream?!"
I walked to the window.
The city outside was insane.
Gothic buildings, modern roads.
Cars and trucks everywhere.
People with lizard heads, horse legs, wings, six arms.
Definitely not Earth.
Hell? Heaven?
No… It looked exactly like the city illustrations from Divine Blood.
I kept exploring and found a mirror.
And the reflection staring back wasn't me — It was a pale, malnourished guy with a sharp jawline like he just maxed out his "face stats" but forgot "body stats."
When I blinked, he blinked too.
Oh shit. That's me.
Wait… what!?
Why do I look like this?!
I know this body. This is the character I play in the game. The weakest. The poorest. The most useless one in the entire franchise.
So why am I him now?!
Could this be –
"I… transmigrated."
Transmigrated into the game character but inside the novel world.
But wait. Isekai protagonists go to another world because they die.
So… Did I die?
Killed by a cockroach.
A GODDAMN COCKROACH!!!
Most isekai protagonists die by truck.
Cool death. Metal. Stylish.
And me?
Death by cockroach?!
I might be the worst isekai protagonist in history.
No — too embarrassing to even join them.
I'll sit with the side characters instead.