So uh, Saint of Purity… and The Wizard of Zo… and Sir SmashALot? Percy looked at their guild nicknames as he said, "Guys, look, if you become famous people are going to spread your name with this. Are you sure?"
"I mean, it sounds pretty badass when you think about it," Dilek said.
"You are a saint class, Saint of Purity… sure, I guess it sounds good. The Wizard of Zo? What's that? Nandita, is it? Aren't you an Enchanter Class?, So why wizard? And what's with Zo?" Percy looked at her application and class.
"It's actually Oz, but copyright issues, you see."
"Copyright wha—never mind. You, Marcus? What's with Sir SmashALot? You're a tank, right?" Percy thought about it for a second. "Yeah, it does make sense, but it's just ridiculous… okay, how about Sir TankALot? Since, y'know, you're a tank and stuff."
Marcus thought about it for a second. "Oh yea, that's cool actually, yea, lemme write that."
Percy took out a pen and wrote it himself and smiled. "No need. Well then, let's get you your cards. Till that time, why don't you look at the quests on the quest board?"
"I see, thanks," Dilek said as the three moved towards the quest board. The guild was filled with chattering despite the dim light—people with huge muscles, some with unnatural mustaches, and some just talking despite looking too young.
As they approached the quest board, they saw:
—
1-Star Quests
1. Shoo the Geese
A flock of geese is blocking the village well. Drive them off. (Warning: Geese are aggressive.)
2. The Laundry Line Disaster
A strong wind has scattered a villager's laundry across the rooftops. Retrieve at least 3 shirts.
3. Slime Disposal (Beginner-Friendly)
A few weak slimes have appeared in Farmer Jona's cabbage patch. They taste awful if squished wrong, so please be careful.
4. Find the Missing Shoe
The blacksmith's kid lost a single shoe. It's somewhere in the mud near the pigpen.
Reward: The other shoe.
5. Lantern Lighting Duty
Light 12 lanterns before dusk. Warning: some kid might try to blow them out. (You can Remove the kid if you want).
6. Herbal Tea Gathering
Collect 5 leaves of "Morning Dew Herb." They only grow in shady spots near puddles. Try not to pick normal grass again.
7. The Singing Rooster
A rooster has been crowing nonstop since midnight. Convince it to stop. By any means necessary.
8. Rat Chase
Catch a single rat in the inn's pantry. Try not to break more than two plates.
9. Message Delivery
Take a love letter across town. Do not read it (but I know you will, you shameless twat).
10. Mystery of the Missing Spoon
The tavern lost its only large soup spoon. Find it. The cook refuses to use a ladle.
11. Street Sweeping
Sweep the main road before the duke's procession tomorrow. Birds may re-dirty it instantly.
12. Egg Escort Mission
Escort a basket of eggs to the next village without breaking more than 3.
13. Guard Duty
Sit in front of the guild's door for 2 hours to stop the guild cat from escaping.
14. Lost Dog Retrieval
Find Mrs. Hellen's dog. It looks suspiciously like a wolf pup. (might take your arms away if not careful)
15. The Haunted Closet
A child insists there's a monster in their closet. Check it. (Probably just socks… probably.)
—
"This is bullshit. One star? This should be zero star, what am I looking at?" Nandita said as she looked at all the quests. "I'm not even doing the two stars, holy hell. Isn't quest supposed to be dangerous?" She looked at the children in the guild and said, "No wonder children are here."
Dilek looked at nandita as he thought, 'I dunno about her, but doing these 1 star quest might cost more than a arm and a leg, is she brave or just stupid?.'
Marcus said, "Then should we check out 2-stars?"
"No, let's check out 3-star quests," she responded.
---
3-Star Quests
1. The Drunken Ogre
Clarence the ogre has been wandering too close to the city, smashing walls and demanding ale. Normally docile, he's become unpredictable after drinking from a mysterious barrel. Defeat or sober him up before he levels the walls of the city.
2. Mad Knight of the Rusted Armor
An abandoned battlefield is haunted by a knight who never removed his corroded armor. He challenges anyone who passes through. Defeating him might finally lay his spirit to rest.
3. The Swamp Hag
A lone witch has claimed a swamp and placed curses on travelers. She doesn't use brute force, but charms, illusions, and a monstrous tongue that drags prey into the water.
4. Cave Guardian Lizard
A massive lizard has made its home in a trade-route cave, blocking caravans. Strong jaws, thick scales, and a tail that can shatter bones. Guild wants it dead or driven deeper.
5. The Bell-Tower Wraith
A single wraith rings the old chapel's bell at night. Each toll spreads nightmares through the town. Only direct confrontation inside the tower can stop it.
—
"Hey, uh, isn't the difficulty spike too high?" Marcus asked as he looked at the board.
"Well, I suppose it is… uh, but, let's try it," Nandita said. "At worst we will run back here."
"We could die?" Marcus asked.
"No way, c'mon, what are they gonna do? Kill us? C'mon, this is a 3-star quest. If this is 3-star then what's 4-star and 5-star?" She looked to see the four and five but there was no board for them. "Shit."
"Well, guys, let's do it," Dilek said as he pulled out the ogre quest and went back to the counter. Percy stood there, and Dilek handed him the paper. "We will do this quest."
"This?" Percy looked at the quest then looked at them. "Sure, go ahead." He stamped the quest with an ongoing mark and kept it for himself. "Go to the South and he must be there. By the time you come back I'll have your adventurer's card ready."
"Wait, wait, wait," Marcus came forward. "3-star quest when we started? Isn't there like a restriction?"
"Not at all," Percy said. "Go ahead."
"Well, let's go," Dilek said before moving. Nandita followed him. Marcus, who looked up as if begging mercy from God, followed them as well.
—
Reaching the south of the city, they exited the walls and saw the ogre sleeping on the ground wearing Jeans as clothes. The ogre looked intimidating with his pale skin near the wall, around 5ft tall, as the wind blew along the grassy plains nearby
"Hey, you got a plan, right?" Nandita looked at Dilek.
"Not really."
"Wait, what?" She started complaining, but Dilek wasn't listening. He was in his thoughts.
'That's it. Let's check out my class for real now. If I can change it as I will, then I'll just say that I got a berserker class, and if they buy it, hell, I'll get the skills. But for now, I need to convince them. And the best way? It's fighting. I can just say I leveled up and got a class advancement quest, that's it. I'm a genius.' Dilek smiled as Marcus and Nandita looked at him, slightly worried.
Dilek turned to them as he said, "LET'S ATTACK, LES GOOOOO!" Dilek rushed forward as Marcus pulled him back.
"Are you an idiot?"
"No?"
"Then stay here. You are a priest, aren't you? Keep healing me. This quest, this is for Sir TankALot." He took a stance, looked up at the sky and said, "NANDITA, BUFF ME!"
She started clapping her hands as Marcus said, "Hey Nandita, Can you not hunch your back while clapping? You look like a beggar."
"I do?" She straightened up, lay on the floor, and said, "Well then that's enough morale from me, You Ungrateful trash"
"OH C'MON ON, I DIDN'T MEAN TO OFFEND YOU, PLEASE BUFF ME!" Marcus said.
"It's just morale boost, Marcus. What's the best it can do?" Dilek joined in.
"Morale can go long ways," Marcus said as Nandita just kept lying and closed her eyes. Marcus sighed. "Just heal me, Dilek, let's go."
Marcus walked forward, marching slowly as Dilek matched his pace, his hands on Marcus's stomach from behind.
Marcus stopped. Dilek stopped as well.
"What are you doing?" Marcus turned slowly.
"To heal you I need to stay close."
"Aren't you a priest? Shouldn't you be able to do it from a distance?"
"Not really," Dilek said.
"Well, whatever, just stay at a distance." Marcus walked again. Dilek followed, his hands still on Marcus's stomach. Marcus stopped. "Dude, you can stop, it's ticklish. Grab somewhere non-ticklish."
"Non-ticklish? Like your back?" Dilek asked.
Marcus said, "No, it feels kinda ticklish there as well."
"Then your ass? Hell no, I'm not touching your ass, Marcus."
"OF COURSE NOT, YOU CAN GRAB MY HAND OR SOMETHING. WHY WOULD YOU JUMP TO THAT, HUH?" Marcus shouted as he looked at Dilek—and Dilek widened his eyes behind Marcus as a shadow appeared. Marcus turned to see the ogre waking up.
"MARCUS, ATTACK!" Dilek shouted.
Marcus instinctively screamed and ran. "AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"
He ran fast, with Dilek following behind slowly since Marcus ran so slow, as the ogre looked down and flicked Marcus away.
"MARCUSSS!" Dilek shouted as he looked at the ogre.
'Wait, this is it. I'll fight and dodge the ogre a little and then claim I got the berserker class.' "HUWAHHHHHH HOW DARE YOU HURT MARCUS, YOU MONSTERRRRRR!" Dilek charged as the ogre just yawned, looked down, and flicked his fingers at Dilek as well, who dodged and kicked the ogre.
The kick didn't do a damn thing as the ogre looked down at Dilek. Marcus and Nandita watched from a distance as Dilek shouted, "WOAH, WHAT'S THIS? I JUST GOT A CLASS ADVANCEMENT OPTION! I LEVELED UP, WOO HOOO, I GOT A BERSERKER CLASS, GUYSSSS! LOOK AT ME, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?"
Nandita looked from a distance. "Is he saying something? I don't understand."
Marcus looked at Dilek and shouted, "SHOULDN'T PRIEST ADVANCEMENT BE SOMETHING HEALING-RELATED? HOW COME YOU GOT A BERSERKER?"
Dilek stopped for a second as he shouted, "TRUST ME, JACKASS, I REALLY DID!"
"NO YOU DIDN'T!"
"YES I DID!"
"NO YOU DIDN'T!"
"YES I DID!"
Clarence looked at Dilek as he grumbled, "Dude, who are you and why are you trying to attack me?, Can I not sleep?"
Dilek turned slowly. "You… speak?"
"Of course I speak." He scratched his head and looked around. "What was I doing?"
Dilek turned and said, "Breaking the wall and stuff, so the guild sent us to kill you."
"KILL ME? NAHHH, NO WAY. IT MUST BE WAKE ME UP, RIGHT?"
"Nope, it was killing you."
"WHAT? THERE IS NO WAY… wait, even if they did, they sent you to kill me? Who even are you? Never seen you at the guild," Clarence asked.
"Well, I'm the new prodigy." Dilek pointed at himself. "That's why."
Clarence looked at him and said, "It was for sobering me up, right?"
"It was for sobering you up," Dilek responded quickly as, Clarence stretched his hands and said, "Sorry, my bad, I'll pay for the damages, let's just go back."
Clarence got up as Nandita from a distance said, "Holy shit, did he just convince him not to fight? What is he, some sort of berserker, communicating with an ogre?"
———
BP: 2
You have gained the ability Communication with Blockheads (Berserker Edition)
———
Dilek looked down at the system as he said, "What? No, not like this, dammit."
He spammed his fingers in annoyance as he shouted, "COME ON, WHY DON'T I GET WHAT I WANT?!?? SCREW THIS, GIVE ME WHAT I WANTT!"
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