Chapter 167: Eat It All
"N-no, that's not it!"
Startled by Kouya's piercing stare, the twin-tailed girl flinched like a startled kitten and immediately ducked behind Raphiel's back. She peeked timidly over the angel's shoulder, her twin tails trembling slightly as she stammered out her excuse. "It's just... just a butler uniform, that's all!" Her cheeks puffed slightly, eyes shimmering with unease yet somehow radiating that irresistible, dumb kind of cuteness that made people sigh in exasperation.
"Hm?" Kouya's brow lowered, though some of the sharpness faded from his gaze. "Butler uniform?"
"Y-yeah! Like the ones in anime—you know, Black Butler, White Butler, Light Butler..."
'Hold up. The first two I can understand, but what the hell is Light Butler supposed to be?!'
'What's next—Holy Attribute Butler with built-in divine buffs?!'
Raphiel stepped forward with a composed smile, brushing a lock of hair behind her ear. "Actually, we called you here to try on the butler outfit. It takes a refined man with charm and confidence to bring out the appeal of such attire. That's why I recommended you, Kouya-kun."
Alice timidly nodded from behind her, twirling a lock of her hair. "Y-yeah, exactly that..." she said in a whisper.
The scheming angel tilted her head thoughtfully, pressing a finger to her lips with a sly sparkle in her eyes. "And as a reward for helping us, I'll persuade Vigne and Gabi-chan to act as your personal maids for one whole day. Doesn't that sound fun?"
The immediate response on Kouya's tongue—"No"—was strangled halfway out. His jaw tightened, his resolve flickering.
'...Because, damn it, that idea sounded way too appealing.'
He could already picture Vigne in a maid outfit, her calm, gentle air turning alluring with that soft apron and black lace. Even that lazy angel Gabriel—if she actually bothered to put effort into something—might look dangerously cute.
'Wait—no! That's not happening! Neither of them would ever agree to that!'
"Don't worry, leave everything to me," Raphiel said confidently, winking playfully and giving him a thumbs-up like some kind of devilish cupid.
Kouya opened his mouth again, about to refuse more firmly this time—when he suddenly froze. He could feel two pairs of eyes watching him, sharp and unblinking.
He turned toward the window... and sure enough, there were two faces pressed against the glass.
"Stare—"
Yep. That unmistakable red-haired idiot, Satania, and next to her, the ahoge girl herself, Takanashi Rikka.
"It's Lady Satania and Rikka-chan," Raphiel chimed cheerfully. The words had barely left her lips before her entire body blurred—vanishing from her seat like she had teleported straight outside.
Moments later, the doorbell jingled as two girls stormed into the café. Satania's crimson eyes burned with the fire of righteous betrayal. "You... you actually betrayed me and Rikka...!"
'Hey hey hey, what's with that tone?! You sound like I cheated on you! You've definitely got the wrong idea!'
Meanwhile, Rikka stood silently beside her, cheeks puffed and expression grave, like a child trying to look intimidating. She tilted her head, eyes huge with unspoken confusion. She clearly had no idea what was happening—but she demanded an explanation anyway.
"You were sneaking around eating delicious things without us! That's totally unfair!" Satania slammed her hands on the table. "Why didn't you call us too?! We want sweets!"
Kouya: "..."
'...I overestimated your brain cells. My mistake.'
"So what are you all doing here, anyway?" Satania asked as she sat down with dramatic flair, folding her arms.
Raphiel answered smoothly, her voice honey-sweet. "We were just discussing how stunning Kouya-kun would look in a butler uniform."
"Eh? So the hero is changing equipment?" Rikka's eyes widened, her ahoge twitching like it had a life of its own. She leaned forward, both hands clasped behind her back, bending toward Kouya as if she were inspecting a rare artifact. "The hero doesn't look too happy... which means..."
'Oh? Are you actually defending me for once?'
'Even though she's delusional, she can be weirdly empathetic sometimes...'
"So it must be because the outfit is too plain! Yes, that's it! For a hero like you, only the legendary Dark Flame Master Set will do!"
'...I take that back completely.'
'Hoping for rationality from this girl is like expecting Gabriel to willingly clean her room.'
"Hero! Hero!" Rikka's eyes sparkled like stars. "Please sign something for me! I want your autograph!"
"You want an autograph?" Kouya said with a grin. "Sure, but lean in a little closer."
"Eh?" Rikka blinked innocently, completely oblivious to the trap. The next second—
"Waaaah! Ow ow ow! I'm sorry! Don't pinch my cheeks! I'll be good, I'll be good!"
Outside, behind a nearby telephone pole, the long-haired class rep peeked in horror, her heart shattering even further.
'Oh my god... so Kouya-kun isn't just juggling two girls... he's handling five?! But a human only has two legs! You'll sink the ship of friendship like this!'
"I think Lady Satania would look magnificent in a maid outfit," Raphiel suggested sweetly, clapping her hands together.
"Eh? Really?" Satania blinked, then straightened proudly, chest puffed out. "Well, of course I would! I am the great Lady Satania, after all!"
Raphiel's smile turned innocent—too innocent. "Then, Lady Satania, would you like to try one on here? Just for fun?"
"Uh..." Satania hesitated. Even an idiot could sense the sinister undercurrent behind that gentle tone.
"What's wrong? Don't tell me Lady Satania is... afraid?" Raphiel asked sweetly.
Satania shot up from her chair instantly. "Hah! Who's afraid?! I'll wear it right now!" she barked proudly, walking straight into the trap with her head held high.
Alice immediately brightened, shoving aside her half-finished sundae and hopping up. "I'll take you to the dressing room in the back!" she announced.
Raphiel's brow lifted as she glanced at the melting dessert. "Alice, you're not going to finish that?"
"I-I'm full! Too many sweets will make me fat!" Alice protested, waving her hands frantically.
'If you knew you couldn't finish it, why order the largest size possible?!'
Raphiel's voice softened, her tone carrying a rare note of sincerity. "You should always finish what you start, Alice. Leaving food uneaten isn't just wasteful—it means refusing to take responsibility for your own choices. Don't you agree?"
"Lord Shiraha, you're amazing..." Alice's eyes shimmered with devotion as she clasped her cheeks. "Then Alice will finish all of it!"
Kouya blinked, momentarily caught off guard. He'd never seen Raphiel so serious before. Was she actually... genuine for once?
Raphiel must have noticed his stare. She turned her head slightly, smiling softly as the sunlight spilled through the window. The evening light kissed her pale face, painting her in soft gold and shadow—she looked like a figure from an old painting, beautiful and untouchable.
After finishing her sundae with renewed determination, Alice slammed her spoon down and stood tall. "All done! Let's go! Dressing room, here we come!"
"Rikka, you're joining too?" Raphiel asked with a playful lilt.
"Mm." Rikka nodded gravely, her ahoge waving like a flag of conviction. "Even a servant of the Dark Flame Master must sometimes assume disguise to survive in the mundane world..."
'Yeah, right. You don't even try to blend in!'
As the three girls vanished toward the back, Raphiel stayed behind, tugging lightly at Kouya's sleeve. Her smile turned calm, her voice dropping low enough that only he could hear. "Kouya-kun... you've noticed we're being followed, right?"
'No kidding! Who else but that long-haired class rep crouching behind the telephone pole like a ninja in plain sight?!'
'She's been tailing us since the school gate—thinking she's invisible just because she's hiding behind a metal pole!'
"That's your class rep, Machiko, isn't it?" Raphiel said with quiet amusement, raising a graceful finger to her lips. "Why don't we... go say hello?"